712051152-Beetlejuice-script-6th-good-SM-1

Prévia do material em texto

Based on the musical “Beetlejuice” by Scott brown
and Anthony King
 Script by
Maripaz Herrera 
1
https://teatrosanmateo.wixsite.com/thisisnotbeetlejuice
Scene 1
/Part of ensemble appears with a priest for a sad funeral/
Priest: 
In times like these, we have no words. We have only 
each other. Today we come together to mourn the 
passing of Emily Deetz. Devoted wife of Charles. 
Beloved mother to Lydia Scripture, tells us "Sorrow 
not, for we do not walk alone."
/Instrumental music/
Beetlejuice 1: 
Holy whatever, a ballad already? *throws newspaper 
on the ground* at least let me introduce myself.
The whole being dead thing theme song
Hey, folks! 
Begging your 
pardon
'Scuse me, sorry
to barge in
Now let's skip 
the tears and 
start on the 
whole
Y'know
Being dead thing
You're doomed, 
enjoy the 
singing
The sword of 
Damocles is 
swinging
And if I hear 
your cell-phone 
ringing
I'll kill you 
myself
The whole being 
dead thing
Death can get a 
person stressed
We should have 
carpe'd way more
diems
Now we're never 
gonna see 'em
I can show you 
what comes next
So don't be 
freaked
Stay in your 
seats
I do this, like,
eight times a 
week
So just relax, 
you'll be fine
Drink your 
fifty-dollar 
wine
And take a 
breath
Welcome to a 
show about death
You're
You're gonna be 
fine
On the other 
side
Die! You're all 
gonna die! 
You're all gonna
die!
2
I'll, I'll be 
your guide
To the other 
side
Though in full 
disclosure: It's
a show about 
death
Everybody gets 
on fine here
Like Rodgers, 
Hart, and 
Hammerstein here
The women's 
bathroom has no 
line here just
Go when you 
want, the whole 
being dead 
thing!
You're just 
gonna love the 
folks here
Yeah, I know 
you're woke, but
you can take a 
joke here
And every show I
drink, like, a 
ton of coke here
The whole-
The whole being 
dead thing!
Nobody is 
bullet-proof
"I work out, I 
eat clean!"
Jesus, pass the 
Dramamine
Time to face the
brutal truth
'Cause we're all
on a hitlist
Might not live 
'till Christmas
Choke to death 
on Triscuits
Hey, that just 
statistics
So take a little
break here
Kinda like a 
wake here
The scenery is 
fake here
But there's a 
giant snake 
here!
Welcome to a 
show about death
You're, you're 
gonna be fine
Thank you!
On the other 
side
How you doin'?
Oh, not good!
I'll, I'll be 
your guide
To the other 
side
Seriously, 
though, this is 
a show about
Death is taboo, 
but it's hardly 
something new
There's nothing 
medical 
professionals 
can do
'Cept maybe just
bill you
If you die while
listening to 
this album
It's still gonna
keep playing
There's no 
destiny or fate
Just a 
terrifying wait
Filled with 
people that you 
hate
And on a certain
date, the 
universe kills 
you!
That's the thing
with life
No-one makes it 
out alive
Toss that body 
in the pit
"Gosh, it's 
awful, ain't it 
tragic?"
Blah, blah, 
"Bible Jesus" 
magic
When you're 
dead, do you 
know it?
No pilates, no 
more yoga
"Namaste", you 
freakin' posers
From the cradle 
to cremation
Death just needs
a little 
conversation
I have mastered 
the art (Dies 
Irae!)
Of tearing 
convention apart
(Dies Irae!)
So, how about we
all make a start
(Dies Irae!)
On the whole 
being dead thing
3
God, I hope 
you're ready for
a show about 
death!
Beetlejuice 1,2,3:
Hey! I’m a dead guy stuck in a world of living with no
one beside me. All I want is for someone, anyone to 
look my way and say “hey, I see you, I accept you and 
I fear for my safety around you”. Cause dead or alive 
if you don”t got somebody who REALLY gets you, you’re 
gonna feel lonely and worthless and you’ll never reach
your goal weight because you eat when you’re sad.
But here’s the good news! I found a way to make 
everyone see me. All I gotta do is get a living person
to say my name 3 times, and I've got a plan!
/Adam and Barbara appears/
(Adam 1, Barbara 1, Beetlejuice 1)
Settings: Old living room /curtain opens/
Beetlejuice:
The people who live here, I've been watching them for 
awhile and yes it's been very creepy. And now finally 
they’re gonna die and be my new best friends. Adam and
Barbara Maitland! 
/Adam and Barbara enters the house arguing/ 
Barbara: 
We are not ready to start a family! 
Adam: 
Yes we are, if we weren’t I wouldn’t have bought you 
this house, our car, this couch! 
Barbara: 
A child does not amount to materialistic things! 
Adam: 
Honey, we are going to be fine *takes step towards 
her* (floor squeaks)
Barbara: 
For god sakes Adam! I told you to get these fixed. 
4
Adam: 
It´s fine Barbara, look! 
/Jumping up and down, floor creaks and collapses 
causing the couple to fall to their death/
Beetlejuice:
 See I wasn’t kidding it's a show about death
Scene 2
Beetlejuice: 
HI DEAD PEOPLE! I'm sorry. I can’t handle myself. I’ve
been waiting for so long for you people to die. And 
now you’re here. And I just think we're gonna be such 
a great team. Don’t you think? 
Barbara: 
No offense mister but who are you? You are giving me 
the creeps. 
Beetlejuice: 
Oh Honey! Thank you very much and now, you’re going to
hire me!
Adam: 
Hire you for what? 
Beetlejuice: 
Teach you to scare 
Barbara: 
What are you talking about, what´s happening, where 
are we, scare who? 
Beetlejuice:
Honey, you are dead! 
/Barbara and Adam gasp/
Adam:
How can we be dead? We never leave the house, well not
that I remember…
Beetlejuice:
5
And never be able to… but don´t worry I´ll be here for
you, and I´m gonna teach you how to be scary to chase 
away the people who bought your house… Uuuuhhh! They 
bring a priest and everything, this gonna be fun!
The whole being dead thing pt 2
Ready? Okay!
Hi! I'll be your guide
I'll be your G-U-I-D-E to the other side
Don't go to the Netherworld-
Netherworld?
Did I say Netherworld? Never mind
I'm the B-to-the-double-E-J-F-U
And Jesus, I can't spell
Hi! He'll be your guide
He'll be your G-U-I-D-E to the other side
Let's all get naked!
No!
Eh, worth a try
I'm the B-to-the-double-E-T-L-E to the J-U-I-C-E
What is happening?
I understand it's a lot to process
But
The good news is you and your spouse
Died in your own house
That gives you clout
That means the two of you should stick around
Lucky for you I dropped by
Yeah, you seem like nice guys
A little on the Pottery Barn and dry white wine side
As for me, I've been scaring for millennia
I'm the bio-exorcist
Giving houses many a…
Push out all the breathers
You can pray at ease
Just stick with me
I'm like a ghost-zombie Jesus
Ghost-zombie Jesus!
6
And I do it for the love of it
Money? Ah, who requires it
I think we're a perfect fit
Come on, let's make out a bit
Yeah!
Dead!
It's the perfect day to die
'Cause this guy happened to be passing by
To give you control of your soul
For the whole "being dead" thing
The whole "being dead" thing!
Oh yeah!
Adam and Barbara:
You’re hired
Beetlejuice:
YES! WOOH
/Pulls Barbara and adam then exit/
Scene 3
/Delia and Charles and the seller walks in/
Delia: 
Oh, my love! This place is beautiful.
Charles: 
I hope Lydia thinks the same way.
Delia:
She won’t. What! That girl has serious problems.
Charles:
Don´t be hard on her, since her mother died it has 
been so difficult, I just want to see her happy and 
comfortable.
/Lydia walks in/
Lydia: 
7
Hey dad. How long are we going to stay here? I wanna 
go home. 
Charles:
 About that. I thought after everything we’ve been 
through, we need a fresh start. So, I'm selling our 
old house and we’re going to live here instead. Isn’t 
that great? 
Lydia: 
No. No. Dad. You can't do that, my whole life is at 
the old place, with people I know and…
Delia: 
Knock knock! Whose there? Happiness! 
Seller: 
I assure you sir, that you and your lovely family will
be extremely happy here. This house has a lot of 
history, for example the stairs were restored by the 
famous architect Richard Neutra.
Lydia: 
NO! Dad, please!I wanna go home
Seller:
This is a lovely opportunity to start a new home 
Darling.
Delia: This place is ideal, although we´ll have to do some 
changes it feels like home already.
Lydia:
You are not from this family. 
Charles: 
Lydia! We’re moving forward! Let's go! Sir, give me 
the contracts.
Delia: 
Come on guys, I wanna see the kitchen!
Lydia: 
But Dad! Hey… We’re alone… Well, I'm alone. I miss you
mom.
Adam: 
8
What´s happening why can´t they see us?
Barbara:
Don´t you remember, that guy told us we are invisible.
Adam: 
So, we need a new plan to make this people leave.
/Adam and barbara put on a sheet and passees 
by wearing a “ghost costume” trying to scare/
Lydia: 
Greetings ghosts. My name is Lydia Deetz, do not be 
afraid. 
Barbara: 
Why aren’t you afraid of us? 
Lydia: 
‘Cause you’re not scary 
Barbara: 
Hi! I’m Barbara! And this is Adam, we used to live 
here. 
Adam: 
Wait, you can see us? We were told the living cannot 
see the strange and unusual 
Lydia: 
Perhaps that's because I am strange and unusual. 
Adam: 
So, I’m gonna get straight to the point, do you mind 
leaving and never coming back? I mean your family? 
Lydia: 
We are not a family. We are father, daughter and 
Delia. My mom died a few years ago and my dad never 
wants to talk about her. 
Barbara: 
Oh. Im sorry 
9
Lydia: 
Yeah, me too. Gosh, she would’ve loved this! The 
haunted house, ghosts, and everything spooky. I don’t 
like staying in this stupid house but it’s nice 
knowing that I have you guys. Maybe we can help each 
other 
Barbara: 
What do you mean? 
Lydia: 
You want this house back, right? So, let’s scare my 
dad. Once he knew this house is haunted then we’ll 
have to pack our bags 
Adam: 
How do we know that we can trust you? Unlike that 
arrow Beetlejuice. He told us he’ll help us but look? 
Now, where is he?
Barbara: 
Yeah, that cheater! 
Lydia: 
I guarantee you that I will help you 
Barbara: 
OK! Let’s go! 
Scene 4
*Suddenly we hear someone screaming*
Lydia: What happened?
Delia:
Your dad proposed!!
Lydia:
Are you kidding me?!? (Adam and Barbara gasps)
Charles:
10
Lydia, this is a good thing, I need a wife. You need a
mother.
Lydia: 
I have a mother!
Charles: 
I want us to be a family
Lydia: 
Ugh I wish I was dead (Lydia walks out)
Delia: 
Charles maybe this is not a good idea, I want Lydia to
call me mom by her own terms and I think this is maybe
too soon…
Charles: 
No, my love she just needs time I assure you she will 
love you the same way as I do.
/Beetlejuice gets in the room/
Beetlejuice: 
Woah what do we got here? Families fighting, diamonds 
and girls crying, it reminds me of my aunt´s Tessy’s 
wedding.
Lydia: 
Who are you?
Beetlejuice: 
Oh! You can see me?
Lydia: 
uh huh
Beetlejuice: You can see me! YOU'RE GONNA BE MY NEW BEST 
FRIEND! So, what brings you here?
Lydia: 
I'm gonna run away, maybe to the forest or I could 
jump off the roof
Beetlejuice: 
11
NOOOO! (clears throat) I mean, no. How about instead 
of you hurting yourself, you say my name 3 times.
Lydia:
Why would I do that? Stop staring at me like that.
Beetlejuice:
Fine I’m begging, okay. I’m so sick and tired of 
being invisible and you can change all of that.
Lydia:
Clearly, I can't change anything
Beetlejuice:
Hey I get it, you and me are not that different
Say My Name
[Beetlejuice:]
You could use a
buddy
Don't you want a
pal?
(Yes I do! Yes I
do!)
Girl, the way I
see it
Your daddy
should be
leavin'
And you should
stick around!
[Beetlejuice:]
(And kill him!)
[Lydia:]
What?
[Beetlejuice:]
Nothing
[Beetlejuice,
sung:]
So, Lydia, don't
end yourself
Defend yourself
Daddy is the one
you should maim
Together we'll
exterminate,
assassinate
[Lydia:]
No!
[Beetlejuice:]
The finer points
can wait
But first you
gotta say my
name!
Go ahead and
jump but that
won't stop him
Here you got a
solid plan B
option
I can bring your
daddy so much
pain
All you gotta do
is say my name!
Girl, just say
it three times
in a row
Then you won't
believe how far
I'll go
I'm on the
bench, but coach
Just put me in
the game
All you gotta do
is say my name
[Lydia:]
I don't know
your name
[Beetlejuice:]
Well, I can't
SAY it
[Lydia:]
12
How 'bout a game
of charades?
[Beetlejuice:]
Yes, let's play
it
[Lydia:]
Two words
[Beetlejuice:]
Right
[Lydia:]
Second word
[Beetlejuice:]
Uh-huh
[Lydia:]
Drink?
[Beetlejuice:]
No
[Lydia:]
Beverage?
[Beetlejuice:]
No
[Lydia:]
Wine?
[Beetlejuice:]
No
[Lydia:]
Juice?
[Beetlejuice:]
Yes!
[Lydia:]
Okay
First word
[Beetlejuice:]
Okay
[Lydia:]
Bug?
[Beetlejuice:]
No
[Lydia:]
Ant?
[Beetlejuice:]
Close, but no
[Lydia:]
Beetle?
[Beetlejuice:]
Yes!
[Lydia:]
Beetlejuice?
[Beetlejuice:]
Wow, I'm
impressed
And all you
gotta do is say
my name three
times
Three times in a
row it must be
spoken
Unbroken
Ready?
[Lydia:]
Yeah
[Beetlejuice:]
Okay, go...
[Lydia:]
Beetlejuice...
[Beetlejuice:]
Yes
[Lydia:]
Beetlejuice...
[Beetlejuice:]
Yes
[Lydia:]
Beeeeeeeeeeeeee—
[Beetlejuice:]
Oh, oh, this is
gonna be so good
[Lydia:]
—cause
[Beetlejuice:]
What?
Lydia: 
I’m sorry boy, is not gonna be that easy.
Beetlejuice:
13
What do you mean?
Lydia:
My dad wants to keep this house and I want to keep my 
life. So, if you help me to drive away my dad and 
Delia, we have a deal.
Beetlejuice:
Girl! Now we are talking the same language.
Scene 5
/Settings: Living room/
Charles: 
Good evening, everyone you may take a seat. I’m afraid
my daughter won’t be joining us for dinner
Lydia:
Oh, father dear. I’m sorry I arrived quite late, 
everyone! But I just couldn’t resist not going, not 
with this wonderful people around!
Visitor 1: 
How gorgeous you are, Lydia! Your father is trying to 
hide you from us.
Visitor 2:
Oh yeah! You are such a lovely girl.
Delia: 
Business friends: I have only known this amazing, 
amazing, amazing man and his unique… Daughter for a 
few months and it has been delightful, as my guru Otho
always say…
/Day O/
Delia:DAAAAAYY-
O! (sung)
[Maxie:] What?
[Lydia:] What’s
going on, Delia?
Are you alright?
[Delia:] Uhm,
heh, heh,
uhm...I’m so
sorry, I
don’t...I don’t
know what just
happened
*Slight pause*
[Delia:] I meant
to say-
[Delia:] ME-SAY-
DAY, ME-SAY-DAY,
ME-SAY-DAY, ME-
SAY-DAY, ME-SAY-
DAY-O
14
[Charles:]
Delia? Do you
need to lie
down?
[Delia:] No, no!
I just need to-
DAYLIGHT COME,
AND ME WAN COME
HOME!
*Delia gasps
dramatically*
[Delia:] What is
happening to me?
[Charles:] O-on
behalf of Delia
and me, I would
just like to
say- WORK A
NIGHT ON A DRINK
OF RUM
[ALL except
Lydia:] Daylight
come and me
wanna go home
[Delia:] Stack
banana till
morning come,
brrrah!
[ALL except
Lydia:] Daylight
come, and me wan
go home
Day, me say day-
o
Daylight come,
and me wan go
home
[Charles:] Come,
mister tally
man, come tally
me a banana
[ALL, except
Lydia:] Daylight
come and me wan
go home
[Charles:]
Lydia, call 9-1-
1! Wait, why
aren’t you
dancing?
[Lydia:] It’s
like what I told
you, dad: This
house is haunted
and the ghosts
who live
here...want
you out!
[Lydia:]
Barbara, the
pig!
[Barbara:] Who
wants bacon?!
[Delia:] No, no!
I’m a vegan!
[Charles:] A
beautiful bunch
of ripe banana
[ALL except
Lydia:] Daylight
come and me wan
go home
[Charles:]
Maxie, please
forgive me! If I
had known-
[Maxie:] Chuck,
you moron! Don’t
apologize, we’re
gonna be rich!
[Charles:] What?
[Lydia:] What?!
[Maxie:] I was
never gonna
invest in your
stupid “gated
community”. But
a genuine
haunted
house? It’s a
gold mine!
[Lydia:] No!
[Charles:] do
you hear that,
Delia? These
ghosts are gonna
make us a
fortune!
[Lydia:] No,
you’re supposed
to be scared!!
[Adam:] we’re so
sorry, Lydia! It
didn’t work
[Lydia:] There’s
one thing that
can still stop
him
[Barbara:]
Lydia, no!
[Lydia:] I can’t
keep living like
this!
BEETLEJUICCEEE!
[Beetlejuice:]
Oh boy, oh boy,
oh boy! I’m so
glad youchanged
your mind. You
are never gonna
regret this!
[Lydia:] B-
beetlejuice…
15
[Beetlejuice;]
We’re going to
make such a
great team! Just
give me
one..more…
[Lydia:]
BEETLEJUICEEE!!!
!
[Beetlejuice:]
It’s showtimee!!
*SCREAMS FILLED THE ROOM*
Beetlejuice: 
Welcome, everyone! Can everybody see me?
/everybody screams/
Beetlejuice: 
Oh, God, I’ve missed that sound…
Scene 6
/In The middle of the woods/
Visitor 1: 
What was that?
Visitor 2:
I don´t know but it almost causes me a heart attack
Delia:
All of this sounds like your daughter’s fault, she´s 
always acting so weird with all of that dead stuff and
black dresses…
Charles:
Oh yeah! Of course, Delia, Lydia has supernatural 
powers and she can call people from dead 
Visitor 3:
Shut up everyone! This is a huge opportunity
Charles:
What are you talking about?
Visitor 3:
16
Yeah! For business, imagine this “Amazing real haunted
house” we can sell tickets, call the tv news. People 
from all over the world will want to come, we can be 
famous!
Visitor 2:
And what makes you think that the ghosts will be on 
our side.
Visitor1:
Yeah, what makes you think they will wanna work for 
us, also how we´re gonna pay them?
Delia:We don´t have to, they´re already dead what will they
´re gonna buy, new shoes? The only thing that we need is to
control them and to our luck, I know this guy, he can talk 
with dead people and all that weird stuff or at least 
that's what he says.
Charles:
Oh, Lydia is a freak and now you have a friend?!
Delia:
Shhhh. We must be intelligent enough or we could lose 
it all (at the cellphone) Hi, Mickey it´s me Delia, no
I’m not looking for that kind of service today but I 
have a big job for you. 
Charles:
Service? What kind of service you use to…
Delia:
Shhsh, we have to go.
Visitor 3:
And don´t forget it was my idea.
Scene 7
Beetlejuice:
Yeah dad. This is what you get!
Lydia:
17
Dad wanted to make a profit out of this house, show 
him what he deserves to get.
Beetlejuice: 
Girl, we are gonna play a game called, “RUN FOR YOU 
LIVES!” cause kid! It’s our house now!
Lydia: 
Yeah! Looks like we’re not invisible anymore
Beetlejuice:
It´s because that sound makes me feel alive
Lydia: 
What sound?
Beautiful Sound
Do you hear that
sound?
That beautiful
sound?
That is the
sound, of clean,
oto , shorts
turning oto 
Torture and pain
Breaking a brain
(this is so
weird!)
A sound that
says
I will never
sleep well again
The sound of a
scream, is music
to me
A sound that
says fifteen
years full-time
therapy
Trauma and fear,
it sings in my
ear
Ain’t it the
sweetest noise
around, that
beautiful sound?
Ooh! Someone’s
at the door
You wanna answer
it this time?
More ot
anything!
Don’t oversell
it, act natural
Come on, you’re
giving me
advice?
Hello, I’m with
the U.S. Census
Bureau, time for
a few-
Oh my God!
Hi
How many people
live here?
Just me
Ohh, and you?
I don’t live
here, I’m dead
(ah!)
Panic and stress
(panic and
stress)
Oh ain’t it the
best? (Ain’t it
the best)
The sound of
heart (heart)
Exploding inside
a chest
(exploding
inside a chest)
It fills you
with pride
We’re ruining
lives
18
Ain’t it the
sweetest noise
in town, that
beautiful sound?
Hey! You know
what would make
all this even
more awesome?
What?
More me!
All we wanna do
is hear that
sound
All we wanna do
is hear that
sound
Fellas!
All we wanna do
is hear that
sound
All we wanna do
is hear that
sound
All we wanna do
is hear that
sound
All we wanna do
is hear that
sound
All we wanna do
is hear that
sound
All we wanna do
is hear that
sound
Ooh, ooh,
somebody’s at
the door,
alright
Let’s make some
more people
scream!
Package for
Deetz
You know
overnight
delivery cost
extra
What a rip off
Ohh! Okay, okay,
shh!
Pizza for Deetz
Hey, what’d you
order?
Pepperoni,
mushrooms and
snakes!
Snakes?
Ugh, holy moly,
a oto f people
come to this
house, lights!
Hello? New
neighbors?
I brought you a
pie?
It’s from the
store! Oh I
don’t see
anything
Hi there,
ahahaha! Hey
Lydia, check
this out-
Dance break!
Lady, you’re
forgetting
something!
Yes I hear that
sound (yes, we
do)
That beautiful
sound (yes, we
do, it’s
beautiful)
A sound that
means
No more
condescending
adults
Hanging around
Every groan
Each wail and
each moan
Adds up to
Daddy’s leavin’
Me the hell
alone!
Hey look at me
(we’re looking
at you girl)
I’m finally free
You’re finally
free girl
I was invisible
(she was
invisible)
But now they all
see
They’re out of
my grill
Because of that
Shrill symphony
Ain’t it the
Sweetest noise
around
19
That beautiful
sound (that
sound)
Sound (that
sound)
Sound (that
sound)
Sound
That beautiful
sound
That beautiful
sound
That beautiful
sound
That beautiful
sound
Barbara:
Finally! Here you are, we’ve been looking for you all 
over the place, there´s this guy downstairs and 
everything is getting weird.
Lydia:
What do you mean?
Adam:
Your dad call this guy, it seems to be a magician or 
something he is saying some kind of spells and look 
(shows his hand) my hand is gonne, I’m scare Lydia.
Lydia:
But my dad would never do that, he is the squarest guy
who has walked the entire earth. 
Barbara:
I think it’s all Delias fault, she has been acting so 
weird about it and she has this book titled 
“Instructions for the dead”. Actually, your father 
looks rather scared.
Charles:
We tried to scare them again and stop them but we are 
not scary at all.
Barbara: Guys! Where is my hand!
Beetlejuice:
I have seen this before, they are calling you!
Scene 8
/At the dinning room/
20
Medium:
Madame and mister, your house is so haunted, 
apparently the ghosts want you to leave, looks like 
they died in an accident just here.
Delia:
So, there are 2 of them?
Medium:
They are, actually, 3. A couple and some kind of 
demon. I’m not worried about the couple, but it seems 
like the demon it´s dangerous.
Charles:
So, what are you gonna do? Buy them a coffee and ask 
them to be nice with the visitors.
Medium: 
I beg you to respect my work sir, any mistake can be 
fatal. So, everyone keep silence “For the powers that 
the universe and Massachusetts state licence confers 
me, I ask you Adam and Barbara to show yourself”
/Nothing Happens/
Visitor 1: 
Did something have to happen?
Medium:
Shhhhhst, please give me the deads clothing
Visitor 2:
Come on you babbler! We don´t have any of…
Delia: 
Here! Barbaras wedding dress and Adams tuxedo
Medium:
Perfect! “Barbara and Adam, we wanna talk to you for 
bussiness, please come here with us and show yourself”
Charles:
Ok, I’m tired of this circus, nothing´s happening and 
I feel like a… (scream) A hand! At the table, a human
hand!
Medium: 
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We´ve got them! After this they won´t be able to do 
anything and they will be our slaves.
Scene 9
/Lydia, Beetlejuice and ¾ of Barbara and Adam enters/
Lydia:
Dad! What are you donig?
Barbara:
So, there is my hand!
Charles:
Lydia! You shouldn´t be here it´s dangerous 
Medium:
The ghosts are in the room, and I also feel another 
presence, is the demon! His name is Bug, no Beetle… 
Beetlejuice! Beetlejuice yeah, Beetlejuice is here.
Beetlejuice:
Hi! How are you family?
Delia:
Ahhh! What are you? Go away! Don´t touch me!
Beetlejuice: 
I´m Beetlejuice and I´m afraid that you are a little 
old for me lady, but you guys said my name three times
so here I am!
Adam:
My love, we are fading away! Please, Lydia help us!
Lydia:
What can I do? Is there an instruction manual or 
something
Adam: 
Of course, there’s not
Beetlejuice:
Maybe I could help
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Lydia, ¾ of Adam and Barbara:
So, help us!
Beetlejuice:
Well, you will have to give me something in return. 
You´ll see if I help you, you will leave and I don´t 
want to be alone anymore so Lydia, will you marry me?
Lydia:
What? Of course not, I am 15
Beetlejuice:
Well, Snow White got married at 14. 
Lydia:
No! Your dead, old and now you´re being creepy. Howold are you 350?
Beetlejuice:
That hurt, I thought we were friends and I´m not and 
old creepy guy, I´m 115 years old I´m in the prime of 
my youth.
Charles:
Sir, I would never give you permission to date my 
daughter.
Adam and Barbara:
And we would never allow it. 
Barbara:
We are already dead we can handle it, honey.
Adam:
As long as we are together, everything will be fine.
Delia:
Oh, come on! What´s this a soap opera? Julian, Finish 
the job! This house will be mine and I´m gonna be rich
and famous. (Rips the book from Julian´s hands)
Charles:
But Delia I though you loved me 
Delia:
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Of course I love you honey, but I love your money even
more.(Begins reciting a spell)
Beetlejuice:
You see, Lydia, love has nothing to do with marriage. 
Now! By the powers granted to me from beyond the grave
we declare us…
Visitor 3:
Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice!
Beetlejuice:
Wait, what?
Lydia:
What happened?
Visitor 2:
Oh, you´ll see we are members of the DIA
Visitor 1:
The Dead Intelligence Agency
Visitor 3:
We have been following these swindlers for two years 
(Points to Delia and Julian the medium)
Visitor 2:
No one makes fun of the dead and gets away with it, 
not even the dead ones. (Stares at Beetlejuice)
Visitor 3:
And you, the anti-poltergeist, unit prohibits you from
living in the world of the living unless you have a 
number 36 licence granted by the supreme mortal court.
Beetlejuice:
Yeah! That´s gonna be easy, what can I do?
Visitor 1:
You must go to the immigration office and ask for an 
appointment.
Beetlejuice:
That means I'll be back soon.
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Visitors:
Don't count on it.
Visitor 2:
You will have to come with us and do not try to escape
unless you wanna end up trapped in a goover jar.
Visitor 1:
Oh, I miss goover. This house will remain intestate by
the DIA until claimed by a relative of the deceased. 
But as the dead had no descendants…
Adam:
Wait! Sir, Hi! I´m Adam the old owner of this house, 
my wife and I both died young, we were never able to 
have children but would have loved to.
Barbara:
But if we had children, we would have loved them to be
like you. (Stares at Lydia). So, if it is possible, we
would love to inherit this house to her.
/Visitors look at each other/
Visitor 1:
Well, this has never happened before. But, I guess we 
owe you a favor for the inconvenience. We must go, 
guys!
Charles:
I am very sorry about all this Lydia.
Lydia:
Don´t worry dad, surely that witch put a spell on you.
And you,(to Adam and Barbara) you didn't have to do 
that, thanks!
Adam:
It´s a pleassure honey
Barbara:
I don't know, maybe now we can be a family.
Lydia:
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I´d love to!
/Final Number “Jump in the line”/
Beetlejuice:
This is not over yet I will be back soon. I already 
have my appointment and I am the number… Oh! 
(Shows the number 
352624131527390404056141327394’47584758585676)
The End.
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