Leading You Me We 05 How Leaders Achieve Goals

Prévia do material em texto

Session 5
How Leaders Achieve 
Goals
• Things we learn in childhood to get attention or to get approval... many of us 
continue into adulthood, just in more covert ways.
• What's a game that you played as a child, that you're still playing right now?
1. What's a place in your life that you get upset, and how is that an extension of 
something you did when you were a little kid?
2. Notice and accept when you or other people do this. It's what humans do. It's OK.
• Look back and see missed opportunities where you could have made quantum 
jumps in your development, not just incremental growth. What are the lessons?
• To accept and embrace that we can create, means that everything that's happened to 
us... we played a part in creating.
1. A reason we DON'T claim our ability to create is because there's a payoff for living 
"at effect" and as "victim."
2. Example: People who stay in physically abusive relationships. They're getting as 
much proof as you can get that the relationship is not healthy, and yet they stay. 
The reason is hidden emotional payoffs for staying.
• Emotions are the most addictive chemicals on the planet. So if you're getting an 
emotion you're addicted to by staying in an abusive relationship, then you stay, and 
use your logical mind to rationalize why you're staying with reasons that have 
nothing to do with the underlying emotional pay off.
1. "I'm going to let go of those secondary payoffs, because what I want to create has a 
bigger payoff than that stuff."
• If we want to claim the life we want, we must step out of being "at effect" and step 
into being "at cause."
• "Choose What You Got"
1. Most people say no to every "bad" thing that happens in their life. Instead, 
practicing choosing to have it, to welcome it. This empowers you to become 
proactive and take a totally different approach to handling it.
2. The next level is called Utilization. Everything bad that's happening is a resource 
that I can utilize to get great outcomes for myself. So instead you are thankful for 
many of the bad things that have happened in your life. That's when things won't 
rattle you as much.
• We are constantly choosing metaphors and analogies to view events through, it's just 
that we normally do this unconsciously.
1. Consciously choosing our metaphors and analogies can play a significant role in 
putting you "at cause" in the world.
2. It's not enough to close your eyes and pretend the event isn't happening. You need 
empowering metaphors and analogies to help you interpret the event in a way 
you find useful and based in reality.
• Exercise:
1. Use 5-10 words to describe an adversity you went through.
2. Look at this situation and connect it to an analogy that's kind of like it. Choose a 
disempowering analogy that you could really relate it to.
3. Now choose an empowering analogy - something it's like in life, that could serve 
as the foundation for your growth to the next level.
• Teleological Causation - the effect precedes the cause.
1. By making the goal clear enough, events arrange themselves to make it happen.
2. Instead of pushing things to happen, we attract them to happen.
• When most people have a goal, they look around for causes to make it happen. If 
they don't see the causes, they say it's impossible, and give up.
• When leaders have a goal, they look around not for causes, but for any raw material, 
and ask "How can I use the raw material available to make my goal a reality?"
1. Stop focusing on the obstacles and all the reasons it's impossible. You must focus 
on your goal, relentlessly.
2. This is one of the biggest issues. If other people can't see immediate causes, they 
don't believe it's possible, and they resist.
3. To overcome this is part of your role as leader - to drive out fear and create an 
atmosphere of safety for your followers or tribe.
• Create a vision that includes how we're going to get to the goal, because that's what 
shows other people the causes... so they can believe it's possible.
• Most people are looking for causes and seeing mainly obstacles.
1. The leader skips all that. The leader doesn't let the snake crawling across the floor 
capture ALL of their attention. Yes, they know it's there, but they look around at 
the bigger picture, the snake being just a small part. When you look at the bigger 
picture, you see all types of causes available, many of which are much bigger than 
the snake.
2. Utilize the available elements in the situation and turn them into causes to get to 
your goal.