Leading You Me We 27 Introduction To Facilitation Coaching

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Session 27
Introduction to 
Facilitation & Coaching
• The idea behind facilitation and coaching is to help the other person break through 
their blocks, but we're not going to do it... THEY are going to do it.
• Education: "to draw out from within."
• A soft way to correct someone: "Here's where you do get it, let me add another 
piece..."
• People do things for their reasons, they make decisions for their reasons, and they 
change for their reasons, so you might as well go with that flow. You can't persuade 
anyone, but you can give them enough information so they persuade themselves.
• Facilitating is about creating a safe space for the other person to open up and explore, 
then supplying tools so they can grow.
• Components:
1. A model of the world where growth and evolution are natural.
2. Seeing yourself as "a guide on the side, not a sage on the stage."
3. Seeing others as OK as they are.
4. A tool box of new perspectives and strategies to feed their growth. 
• You're planting a garden, not being a drill sergeant.
1. You can't scream at the garden and tell it to grow. You have to do certain things to 
create the environment that allows it to grow on its own.
2. Most people don't live in an environment conducive to their growth. In many 
cases the environment is not "safe."
3. To be willing to explore, the other person must feel that the space is safe.
• Eben creates a safe space at our seminars by revealing stuff, speaking hip hop, 
messing with people, making off color jokes etc.
• When new people come to Eben's house, here's what he says to make them feel safe:
1. v"I want to welcome you to my house, and want to let you know that it's really 
important to me that you feel safe and good here, and you know if anything 
happens that you're uncomfortable with, at all, that you can come to me, and I'll 
take care of it."
• Another way to hold space is to say the magic phase "I accept you." Eye contact is 
important too.
• When someone is crying and you say “Oh that's so horrible,” that isn't holding space. 
Remaining calm while they go through their emotional cycle is holding space.
• It's all about the other person.