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<p>2STRANGERS1CON</p><p>OR</p><p>HOW TO GET SAN DIEGO COMIC CON TICKETS</p><p>PILOT</p><p>EPISODE 0</p><p>TACTIC 1: SELLING YOUR SOULS.</p><p>By</p><p>Khai Willson & Guillermo Benumea Leyva</p><p>HOW_TO_GET_SAN_DIEGO_COMIC_CON_TICKETS 2024</p><p>memo@benumea.com</p><p>questionsforanotherday@gmail.com</p><p>FADE IN:</p><p>INT. MEMO’s BEDROOM - DAY</p><p>MEMO is frustrated in his Star Wars decorated bedroom, in front of the computer. A blue circle is spinning on screen.</p><p>MEMO</p><p>Come on! It’s almost 10!</p><p>Computer screen refreshes. Text on a yellow box includes the words “SOLD OUT”. MEMO throws the coffee cup at the table, shatters into pieces. Picks up a nearby white towel.</p><p>Incoming Skype rings, MEMO answers while cleaning.</p><p>KHAI (Over Skype, frustrated)</p><p>Sold out. AGAIN. I’m so mad I just threw my coffee cup on the floor.</p><p>MEMO</p><p>Ugh. I know exactly what you mean. I did the same thing.</p><p>MEMO cuts his finger with the remainders of the cup he is cleaning. Reacts. Finger shows a bit of bleeding. Sucks on it. Sits down, bummed.</p><p>MEMO (CONT’D)</p><p>Sigh. Why do we do this to ourselves, Khai? Every year we sit here watching the badges sell out day by day, and every year we wind up empty-handed.</p><p>KHAI (Over Skype)</p><p>Dude, we’re talking about San Diego Comic Con. It’s like Geek Mecca, people sell their souls for this. (wistful) My cousin says he peed next to Wil Wheaton at a bus station last year.</p><p>MEMO</p><p>(caught up in his train of thought) And we have tried everything! Buying groups, professional tickets, multiple browsers, scalp… wait a moment. What did you just say?</p><p>In KHAI’s living room, she looks at the cup on the floor. A “Death of Superman” logo used to be the decoration on it. She starts picking up the pieces.</p><p>KHAI</p><p>I mean, I guess it could have just been a homeless guy but still-</p><p>MEMO (Over Skype)</p><p>Before that!</p><p>KHAI</p><p>Oh. I said, it’s San Diego Comic Con. #SDCC.</p><p>People sell their souls for this.</p><p>She also cuts her finger with the cup. Reacts, looks at her finger.</p><p>KHAI (to herself)</p><p>Aw finger, no.</p><p>QUICK CUT TO:</p><p>MEMO’s bedroom. He is sunk in his chair in front of his screen, brooding.</p><p>MEMO</p><p>Selling our souls. That’s one thing we haven’t tried, I guess. I would totally sell my soul for a pair of 4-day badges.</p><p>Lamp light flickers when he said this. Maybe lightning.</p><p>KHAI (Skype)</p><p>Don’t be ridiculous, Memo. I’ve seen your browser history, your soul ain’t worth that much.</p><p>MEMO (Blankly looking at his screen)</p><p>170,000 people are going to the comic-con this year, Khai. And we are not one of them.</p><p>QUICK CUT TO:</p><p>KHAI’s living room. She is grabbing some towels to clean up.</p><p>KHAI</p><p>Two of them, and yeah, it sucks big time. Look, I have to go clean up this coffee before it stains. Later.</p><p>KHAI’s clicks on Skype’s hang up button. Skype doesn’t go away. She tries again.</p><p>KHAI</p><p>Uh… that’s funny. I can’t hang up.</p><p>MEMO</p><p>Are you making an “Unfriended” joke? That was a bad enough movie in the first place without your help.</p><p>KHAI</p><p>Ha, ha. I’m serious, this thing won’t hang up.</p><p>MEMO (Trying himself)</p><p>Oh. You are right. It won’t hang up. Wait… I’m actually getting a call from… (looking at handle: Lord_of_darkness_official_666)… who the hell is that?</p><p>Skype auto-answers, bringing a third party to their conversation. The newcomer is wearing a sharp-looking business suit and has horns.</p><p>LORD_OF_DARKNESS_OFFICIAL_666 (Over Skype, deep voice)</p><p>I hear you have an offer for me.</p><p>KHAI</p><p>What? Who are you?</p><p>LORD_OF_DARKNESS_OFFICIAL_666 (skype)</p><p>I’m Satan, a.k.a Lucifer, a.k.a, The unfairly fallen angel. I’ve been drawn to you by your heartfelt desire to sell two souls.</p><p>KHAI (doubting)</p><p>Lord_of_darkness_official_666?</p><p>LORD_OF_DARKNESS_OFFICIAL_666 (skype)</p><p>Yeah, about that… (clears throat)… Satan was taken. So was satan666, Lucifer, Mephistopheles, Luzbel, King of Hell… My names are way more popular than you think!</p><p>This was the closest I could get.</p><p>KHAI</p><p>Did you try spelling Lucifer with a number? Like Luci4?</p><p>No reply for a three-count. Then LORD_OF_DARKNESS_OFFICIAL_666 shows fire emojis surrounding a poop emoji.</p><p>MEMO (still cleaning)</p><p>Wai-wai-wait a second. You are kidding us, ain’t you? Are you for real? Are you the real Satan? Come on! (smiling) Can you prove it?</p><p>LORD_OF_DARKNESS_OFFICIAL_666 (skype)</p><p>Stop cleaning and pay attention! Both of you! NOW!</p><p>MEMO looks at the table. The coffee cup is now sitting there intact, and no coffee is spilled anywhere. MEMO looks astonished. He looks at his hand, but his finger is still bleeding. KHAI screams over skype. MEMO hurries, concerned, to his computer.</p><p>QUICK CUT TO:</p><p>KHAI’s living room. She is holding the cup, intact now, but the logo, instead of being the “Death of Superman” logo is now a common “Superman” logo.</p><p>KHAI</p><p>It was a “Death of Superman” mug you scarlet ninny! You’re the Lord of Hell, where presumably a metric buttload of studio execs are burning in torment within handy questioning distance, and you can’t tell the difference between “Superman” and “Death of Superman”? God, of COURSE the Devil is a Marvel fan. This explains so much.</p><p>LORD_OF_DARKNESS_OFFICIAL_666 (skype)</p><p>SILENCE! Are we here to talk business or fiction characters?</p><p>KHAI (to herself)</p><p>Oh, the wicked irony.</p><p>MEMO (over skype)</p><p>Are you sure you can actually get us 4 day badges? Real ones, for this year, with our names on them and everything?</p><p>KHAI</p><p>With Preview night! I mean my soul is pretty good. I haven’t killed anybody, I don’t do drugs, I pay my taxes…</p><p>MEMO (coughs, quick cut to his bedroom)</p><p>Khai, you are not helping my case. Do you want to go alone?</p><p>KHAI (quick cut to her living room)</p><p>Point taken, but if they sell out of the Con exclusive Funkos before I get there I’m blaming you. So, Mr, uh, Of Darkness, we accept your offer. How does this work? Do we sign something? Do we draw some pentagrams? Say your name in pig latin? “Ordlay ofay arknessday…”</p><p>LORD_OF_DARKNESS_OFFICIAL_666 (skype)</p><p>SHUT UP AND SEAL THE DEAL. Just put a drop of blood in your touchpad</p><p>KHAI</p><p>That seems unsanitary.</p><p>MEMO (puts a drop of blood from his cut finger)</p><p>Screw it. My finger was cut anyway... (muttering to himself) And this keyboard’s seen worse.</p><p>LORD_OF_DARKNESS_OFFICIAL_666 (skype)</p><p>I know… (starts laughing)</p><p>KHAI (with a ‘yuck’ expression puts a drop of blood from her finger)</p><p>I’m gonna need so much Clorox.</p><p>LORD_OF_DARKNESS_OFFICIAL_666 continues laughing. Both rooms start to darken. Wind is blowing everywhere. Laughter intensifies.</p><p>KHAI (shouts and claps)</p><p>Oy! Hellboy! What about our badges?</p><p>Laughter stops. Rooms lighten up and wind stops.</p><p>LORD_OF_DARKNESS_OFFICIAL_666 (skype)</p><p>I’m working on it…</p><p>Camera zooms to the skype window of LORD_OF_DARKNESS_OFFICIAL_666.</p><p>Camera zooms out to show a very nerdy looking bedroom but with satanic memorabilia and posters. Through the window you can only see fire. LORD_OF_DARKNESS_OFFICIAL_666 is standing over the shoulder of a nervous techie-looking demon with pimples. View changes to the computer’s POV (looking up at the demon and LORD_OF_DARKNESS_OFFICIAL_666)</p><p>LORD_OF_DARKNESS_OFFICIAL_666</p><p>What do you mean, it’s sold out? Just go back in time and wait in the room again, that’s what we always do.</p><p>TECHIE DEMON</p><p>Yes, my lord, it’s what we always do. This is our best earner outside election season, which, er, is actually the problem. We bought all the badges this year and they have been traded already.</p><p>LORD_OF_DARKNESS_OFFICIAL_666</p><p>All of them?</p><p>TECHIE DEMON</p><p>Every single badge during Open Registration. There’s no more to sell, and Professional Registration closed weeks ago.</p><p>LORD_OF_DARKNESS_OFFICIAL_666</p><p>There has to be something we can do! Find an actor or someone and get their badge. Offer Tom Cruise an Oscar… he hasn’t gotten one yet.</p><p>TECHIE DEMON</p><p>He’s not going, my lord. Didn’t get his Creative Professional credentials in on time.</p><p>LORD_OF_DARKNESS_OFFICIAL_666</p><p>Can’t we just create them?</p><p>TECHIE DEMON</p><p>Not with the new RFID system. It’s easier to counterfeit Super Bowl tickets than these guys.</p><p>LORD_OF_DARKNESS_OFFICIAL_666 (Fuming. Literally.)</p><p>Are you honestly telling me that the combined powers of Hell can’t get two measly badges for a comic book convention? Is there no one who</p><p>would trade badges for a favor?</p><p>TECHIE DEMON</p><p>(sweating) Uh… Leslye Headland, the Acolyte creator, did ask if we could arrange to renew the Acolyte for a second season. How likely is that?</p><p>Close up to LORD_OF_DARKNESS_OFFICIAL_666 stunned face.</p><p>QUICK CUT TO:</p><p>The screen of a computer, split screen shows the skype of MEMO and KHAI.</p><p>LORD_OF_DARKNESS_OFFICIAL_666</p><p>(Clears his throat) Look guys, this is embarrassing but San Diego is a no-go. How about Wondercon? Or… New York Comic Con? Emerald City?</p><p>Memo gives a snort of disgust.</p><p>KHAI (expression of repugnance)</p><p>Yeah, you can go straight to hell. This deal is off!</p><p>KHAI and MEMO close their laptops, the skype connection goes black.</p><p>LORD_OF_DARKNESS_OFFICIAL_666 (yelling)</p><p>NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!</p><p>Screen gets consumed by fire.</p><p>Credits.</p>