Being Polite

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1. Look at the table. It shows Mark’s requests and Kate’s real thoughts 
and her polite refusals. 
 With your partner add one more invitation, two more real thoughts and 
one more polite refusal to complete the table. 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
2. Read the conversation with a partner. Take turns being Mark and Kate. 
CC photo: Shaver Ross 
“Hi Kate. 
Are you up 
to anything 
later?” 
“Hi Mark. I’m 
really busy 
actually. 
Why?” 
Oh no! He’s going 
to ask me to go 
out with him . 
Created by Sam Weekes 
Being Polite 
Worksheet 1 
3. Look at Kate’s polite refusals in the table. 
 Underline the expressions we can use to make a polite refusal. 
 
4. What other expressions for making polite refusals do you know? 
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5. In the next activity, another student will ask you to go to the cinema 
with them, but you really do not want to go with them. 
 
 Your teacher will give you a thought bubble. 
 In the thought bubble you should write your real thoughts. 
 You should also prepare a polite refusal. 
 
 
 
 
6. Your teacher will read out some requests. For each request decide 
which way of making the request sounds more polite. 
 
1. a b 4. a b 
2. a b 5. a b 
3. a b 6. a b 
 
7. Look at the sentence that has been underlined in the polite request 1. 
 What kind of verb is used? ......................................................................... 
 Underline more examples of this kind of verb in the other requests. 
 Why do these verbs sound more polite?..................................................... 
 
8. Underline other expressions that can be used in polite requests. 
 
 
9. Write your own polite request to ask the other students in your class. 
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Created by Sam Weekes 
Worksheet 2 
Lesson Guide 
1 Created by Sam Weekes 
Being Polite 
Objectives: * To explore conventions of politeness in English, focusing on 
 requests and refusals. 
 * To notice the use of modal verbs in polite requests. 
 * To practise making polite requests and refusals in English. 
 
Language: Models for making polite requests, expressions used in polite requests 
 and refusals. 
Level: Intermediate – Advanced. 
Time: 1 hour. 
Materials: Student worksheets (2), thought bubbles, polite requests hand out. 
Equipment: IWB or projector. 
Overview 
This lesson is based on a presentation I saw by Mark Hancock at IATEFL 2011. It 
explores conventions of politeness in English, in particular focusing on making and 
refusing requests. In the first part of the lesson, the students analyse and practise 
making polite refusals. In the second part of the lesson, they explore polite requests, 
noticing the use of modal verbs and other expressions that can be used in polite 
requests. To finish the class, there is a mingle activity for the students to practise 
making polite requests and refusals. There is also an extension activity which gives the 
students the opportunity to compare politeness in English with their own language. 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Preparation 
This lesson includes, two student worksheets, an answer sheet and thought bubble hand 
outs and a PowerPoint presentation. Before the class, you will need to make enough 
copies of the student worksheets 1 and 2 for every student in your class. (Please 
photocopy on both side of the paper to save trees). You will also need to make enough 
copies of the thought bubble and answer sheet handouts for every student in the class. 
Finally, you will also need to set up a the PowerPoint presentation on an IWB, projector or 
computer. Alternatively, if you do not have access to this equipment in your classroom, 
you could draw the girl and the boy on the board instead. 
 
 
 
The Texts 
The text used in this lesson is a conversation between two people. I have adapted this 
from the one Mark Hancock used in his presentation. 
1. Show the PowerPoint of Mark and Kate. Ask the students what they think 
Mark and Kate are talking about. Click the mouse to show Marks’s 
question. Ask the students to predict what Kate is thinking. Click the 
mouse to show Kate’s thought bubble. Ask the students what they think 
she will say. Click the mouse again to show Kate’s real answer. Ask the 
students why Kate does not say what she is thinking. (Because she is 
being polite). 
 
2. Ask the students to look at the table in number 1. Explain that it shows 
Mark’s requests, Kate’s real thoughts and her polite refusals. Choose 
students to read out each square. As they read ask, What does Mark ask? 
What does Kate think? What does Kate say? Explain that the students 
should work with a partner to complete the table. They should add one 
more request from Mark, two more real thoughts from Kate and one 
more polite refusal. 
 
 FEEDBACK: Ask the students to share some of their ideas. 
 
3. Ask the students to read the conversation with a partner. They should 
take turns playing Mark and Kate. 
 
 
 
4. Ask the students to underline the expressions from the table that can be 
used to make a polite refusal. 
 
 FEEDBACK: Ask the students to tell you the expressions. Write them on 
the board. 
 
 
 
 
Lesson Guide 
Created by Sam Weekes 2 
3. Answers 
 
5. Ask the class brainstorm other expressions that could be used to make 
polite refusals. Write them on the board. 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
6. Ask the students to look at number 5 on their worksheets. Explain that 
another student is going to ask them to go to the cinema, but they must 
imagine that they really, really do not want to go. (Either because they do 
not like the student, they are really busy or they have better plans etc). 
 
 Using the language from the previous task, the students should prepare a 
polite refusal. But they should also write down their real thoughts in the 
thought bubble. Show the students the thought bubble (page 9) as you 
explain this. Tell the students that it is just imaginary, so their real 
thoughts can be as mean or funny as they like. When I taught this lesson, 
my students really had fun with their thought bubbles which caused a lot 
of laughter during the role play. 
 
 
 
 
 
7. Once all the students have prepared their thought bubbles and polite 
refusals, you can start the role play. On the board write, Hi_________ 
(name). Would you like to go to the cinema with me tonight? Choose a 
student to come to the front of the class. Ask the student the question. 
The student should hold their thought bubble above their head so the 
class can read it, but answer with their polite refusal. That student 
(student 1) can then choose another student (student 2) to come to the 
front of the class. Student 1 should ask student 2 the question. Student 2 
should give his or her polite refusal while holding their thought bubble 
above their head. Then student 2 will become student 1 and choose a 
new student 2 . Continue like this until all the students have had a turn. 
Lesson Guide 
Created by Sam Weekes 3 
4. Answers 
Answers will vary but possible expressions include: I’d love to but..., thank you for 
asking but ...., Oh! What a shame, I’m afraid I can’t, I’m really sorry..., I wish I could 
but..., That’s very kind of you but..., 
8. Tell the students that next they are going to explore polite requests. Ask 
them to look at number 6 on their worksheets. Explain to them that they 
will hear two differentways of making the same request. They should 
decide which one sounds more polite and circle either a or b. 
 
 Read the example and check that the students understand the task. Then 
read the rest of the requests (remember to say a and b at the start of 
each request). 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 FEEDBACK: Give each student a copy of the answer sheet hand out (page 
8). Ask them to check their answers. 
 
 
 
Lesson Guide 
Created by Sam Weekes 4 
6. Transcript 
 
1. a) I’m too hot, open the window. 
 b) Would you mind opening the window? I’m feeling hot. (P) 
Example: b is more polite. 
 
2. a) Can you lend me your dictionary, please? 
 b) I was just wondering if I could borrow your dictionary, please. (P) 
 
3. a) Would you mind doing me a favour later, please? (P) 
 b) Can you do me a favour later? 
 
4. a) I’m a bit late. Is it okay if we meet later? 
 b I’m really sorry, I’m a bit late. Would it be possible to meet later? (P) 
 
5. a) I’m sorry to bother you, but could you help me with my homework please? (P) 
 b) Will you help me with my homework? 
 
6. a) Can you help me move house on the weekend? 
 b) I was just wondering, if you’re not too busy, would you be able to help me 
 move house on the weekend please? (P) 
 
**(P) after the request indicates that it is more polite. 
9. Ask the students to look at the questions in number 7 on their 
worksheets. Explain that they should look on their answer sheet hand out 
at the verb that has been underlined in the polite request. Ask them what 
kind of verb is used in the request (a model verb). Ask them to underline 
other examples of this kind of verb in the polite requests. Think about 
why this kind of verb sounds more polite. 
 
 FEEDBACK: Ask the students to tell you their answers for each question. 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
10.For number 8, explain that the students should look at the polite requests 
on their answer sheets again. This time they should look for other 
expressions that can be used in polite requests. Do one example together, 
then let them complete the activity with a partner. They should write 
them on their worksheets. 
 
 FEEDBACK: Ask the students to tell you what other expressions can be 
used for making polite request. Write them on the board. 
 
 
Lesson Guide 
Created by Sam Weekes 5 
7. Answers 
What kind of verb is used? Modal verbs 
Underline more examples of this kind of verb in the other requests. 
 
1. b) Would you mind opening the window? I’m feeling hot. 
 
2. b) I was just wondering if I could borrow your dictionary, please. 
 
3. a) Would you mind doing me a favour later, please? 
 
4. b) I’m really sorry, I’m a bit late. Would it be possible to meet later? 
 
5. a) I’m sorry to bother you, but could you help me with my homework please? 
 
6. b) I was just wondering, if you’re not too busy, would you be able to help me 
 move house on the weekend please? 
 
Why do these verbs sound more polite? These verbs sound more polite because 
they are less direct. 
 
 Draw the students’ attention to the final sentence. Explain that in English, 
when we are being polite we try to create “distance” between ourselves 
and our request. That is why we end up we long, indirect questions “I was 
just wondering – if you’re not too busy – would you be able to......? 
 
11.Ask the students to look at number 9 on their worksheet. Explain that 
they should write a polite request to ask the other students in the class. 
They should use the language from the previous task. Walk around and 
help. 
 
12.Explain that the students should make their polite requests to each other. 
However nobody is allowed to say yes to any request. Instead they should 
all refuse politely using the language from the first part of the lesson. 
Choose two students to demonstrate the activity. Then ask the rest of the 
class to find a partner to make their request to. Once both students have 
made their request, they should move around the class and find new 
partners. As the students practice their requests and refusals, walk 
around and correct any language mistakes you hear. 
 
 FEEDBACK: When you stop the activity, ask the students to remain with 
their partner. Ask one student in each pair to make their request and the 
other student should politely refuse it. 
 
 
 
 
Lesson Guide 
Created by Sam Weekes 6 
8. Answers 
 
Would you mind.....? 
I was just wondering if ......? 
Would it be possible to....? 
I’m sorry to bother you, but could you.....? 
I was just wondering, if you’re not too busy, would you be able to.....? 
 
 
 
13. It can be quite interesting for students to compare conventions of 
politeness in English to their own language. This is particularly useful to 
raise their awareness about this issue as there are sometime significant 
cultural or linguistic differences relating to politeness. I think this is a 
good option for an extension activity. I have prepared a list of question in 
different languages. You could either use the questions for a group 
discussion or you could ask the students to write answers to the 
questions for their homework. 
 
 
 
 
Lesson Guide 
Created by Sam Weekes 7 
6. Answers 
 
1. b) Would you mind opening the window? I’m feeling hot. 
 
2. b) I was just wondering if I could borrow your dictionary, please. 
 
3. a) Would you mind doing me a favour later, please? 
 
4. b) I’m really sorry, I’m a bit late. Would it be possible to meet later? 
 
5. a) I’m sorry to bother you, but could you help me with my homework 
 please? 
 
6. b) I was just wondering, if you’re not too busy, would you be able to help 
 me move house on the weekend please? 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
6. Answers 
 
1. b) Would you mind opening the window? I’m feeling hot. 
 
2. b) I was just wondering if I could borrow your dictionary, please. 
 
3. a) Would you mind doing me a favour later, please? 
 
4. b) I’m really sorry, I’m a bit late. Would it be possible to meet later? 
 
5. a) I’m sorry to bother you, but could you help me with my homework 
 please? 
 
6. b) I was just wondering, if you’re not too busy, would you be able to help 
 me move house on the weekend please? 
 
 
 
 
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Discussion Questions 
 
 
1. In your language, how do you make your speech more polite? 
 
2. Who is it important to use polite speech with? 
 
3. How important is politeness in your country? 
 
4. Have you noticed any differences between politeness in English (and 
England) and your own language (or country)? 
 
 
 
 
 
Discussion Questions 
 
 
1. In your language, how do you make your speech more polite? 
 
2. Who is it important to use polite speech with? 
 
3. How important is politeness in your country? 
 
4. Have you noticed any differences between politeness in English (and 
England) and your own language (or country)? 
 
 
 
 
 
Discussion Questions 
 
 
1. In your language, how do you make your speech more polite? 
 
2. Who is it important to use polite speech with? 
 
3. How important is politeness in your country? 
 
4. Have you noticed any differences between politeness in English (and 
England) and your own language (or country)?