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Leading You Me We 11 Lead Yourself First

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Session 11
Lead Yourself First
• Humans are very effected by people who they perceive as higher status or as an 
authority.
• When we talk about our own experience, sometimes we say "you" to rope everyone 
else into our thing, i.e. "When you wake up in the morning, you feel like going back 
to sleep..." It's an easy way to talk about it without having to own it. But practice 
owning it. Use "I" or instead of "you."
• When we get triggered by our partner in a relationship, it's usually because we are 
seeing things from a totally unconscious metaphor from our childhood... and then we 
use our logical mind to make up a story about how our partner really is a jerk.
• Leadership has much to do with leading yourself. Leaders have fought many inner 
battles before they go out and successfully lead.
1. Covey: Every public victory is preceded by a private victory.
2. Your inner journey gives you compassion for others, in part because you'll have 
more compassion for yourself.
• Two important facts about ourselves:
1. We are unconscious creatures of habit.
2. We seek out comfort.
• When we seek to manage ourselves, it's important to manage our fear, stress, and self 
talk.
• What might be the highest leverage way to grow yourself is to manage your 
influences.
1. We're so much more influenced by other people than we think we are.
2. Choose the people who are around us... so the groove that's being recorded in our 
unconscious mind is the groove that we want.
3. Find at least one other person who is on the same page as you, that will be 
receptive to your new ideas.
• To grow, you must become "not me." When you do, your friends may freak out, 
because they are comfortable with the way you've always been.
• The key isn't trying harder - it's trying something different.
• If you want to become a great leader, you must learn new skills, abilities and 
characteristics. This starts with flexibility with "I."
• You learn outside your comfort zone. It's uncomfortable - expect it. Welcome it.
1. It's useful to create a base of safety to go do those things that seem unsafe.
2. Where do you feel unsafe in your life?

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