10 Ways to Sound More Polite when speaking English!

Prévia do material em texto

10 Ways to
when speaking English!
a workshop by
ENGLISHWITHKIM.COM
Sound More Polite
English with Kim!
I’m Kim and I’m your guide to 
the essential conversation 
skills you need to sound 
more natural in English.
ENGLISHWITHKIM.COM
Hey there!
And who might you be?
Have you ever been told that your language is too direct, your 
tone is too aggressive, or that you sound argumentative in 
English? 
To sound more polite in English, there are several strategies 
you can use to soften your language while still making your 
meaning clear. 
Using these strategies can help you sound more tactful and 
diplomatic if you pay attention to stress and intonation.
Why You Want to Sound More Polite
Use modal verbs
#1
Using could, would, and might can help create a little distance 
between your true, strong opinion and your choice of words to 
express yourself. 
Creating distance helps ensure that your listener will be more 
receptive to what you have to say. 
Be sure to pay special attention to your tone. When speaking, 
focus on how you can emphasize the modal verb and its feeling 
of possibility using more expressive, less flat intonation. 
Use modal verbs: could, would, might
more direct 
You should revise the report. 
I don’t agree with that. 
We need more time to decide. 
They must practice speaking 
more.
Use modal verbs: could, would, might
more polite 
You could revise the report. 
I wouldn’t agree with that. 
We might need more time to 
decide. 
They could practice speaking more.
Use negative contractions 
with positive adjectives
#2
A useful technique for sounding more polite and diplomatic is 
using positive adjectives with the negative contraction (n’t) 
rather than using the negative adjective. 
This softens the impact of critical feedback. Even though you 
are expressing a negative opinion, the use of more positive 
language helps your listener stay receptive to what you have 
to say and keeps the lines of communication open.
Use negative contractions with 
positive adjectives
more direct 
That’s a horrible idea. 
That looks ugly. 
That’s a waste (bad use) of our time. 
This project will be unsuccessful.
Use negative contractions with 
positive adjectives
more polite 
That isn’t a great idea. 
That doesn’t look attractive. 
That isn’t a good use of our time. 
This project won’t be successful.
Use “not very”
#3
Combined with the previous strategy, using “not very” enables 
you to state your honest opinion by distancing yourself from 
the language that may be received poorly by your listener. 
Using “not very” with a more positive adjective softens the 
impact of your clearly stated opinion while still enabling you 
to give a fair assessment. 
Use “not very”
more direct 
The report was poorly written. 
The sales figures are terrible. 
Your timeline is inconvenient for us. 
I am pessimistic about the outcome.
Use “not very”
more polite 
The report wasn’t very well written. 
The sales figures aren’t very good. 
Your timeline isn’t very convenient 
for us. 
I’m not very optimistic about the 
outcome.
Use qualifiers
#4
When you give someone feedback that might not be welcome, 
you can use one of the following qualifiers to reduce the 
critical impact of your words. Using qualifiers before the noun 
or adjective enables you to sound more diplomatic. 
The advantage of using qualifiers to state your opinion is that 
you’re still clear about what the problem is, but the qualifier 
shows that it is something that can be fixed or adjusted 
without extreme effort.
Use qualifiers
Here are the qualifiers you can use to soften your language: 
• a little 
• a bit 
• a little bit (of) 
• a little/bit too 
• slight/slightly 
• short
Use qualifiers
• small 
• minor 
• a few 
• a couple of 
• one or two 
• some
more direct 
That looks way too tight on you. 
There’s going to be a delay. 
I have several suggestions. 
We have a problem.
Use qualifiers
more polite 
That looks a bit too tight on you. 
There’s going to be a slight delay. 
I have one or two suggestions. 
We have a minor problem.
Use comparatives
#5
When you need to state your opinion clearly, but you want to 
make the other person feel like his or her desires are also 
being considered, use comparatives in order to present your 
idea as a suggestion rather than a requirement. 
You can combine this strategy with the others we have 
already looked at to create more distance from your request. 
Use comparatives (-er, less, more)
more direct 
3PM is best for me. 
It is foolish to miss this opportunity. 
That option is way too expensive. 
We need to see the research before 
deciding.
Use comparatives
more polite 
3PM is better for me. 
It is wiser to take this opportunity. 
This option is less expensive. 
We need to see more research 
before deciding. 
Present your idea as a 
question
#6
Like the last strategy, presenting your opinion, idea, or request 
as a question can make the other person feel like his or her 
perspective is being considered. 
By asking a question that includes your preference, you are 
showing that you are open to negotiation, but you’ve already 
suggested what works best for you.
Present your idea as a question
more direct 
3PM works for us. 
We need to meet again soon. 
We should reschedule the meeting. 
Revise the offer.
Present your idea as a question
more polite 
Does 3PM work for you? 
Can we meet again soon? 
Should we reschedule the meeting? 
Could you revise the offer? 
Present your idea as a 
negative question
#7
Presenting your idea as a negative question combines the 
previous strategies to enable you to create more distance 
between you and your request. 
Softening your language in this way helps you sound more 
tactful and diplomatic while leading the other person right to 
where you want them to be.
Present your idea as a negative question
more direct 
We should reschedule the 
meeting. 
Revise the offer. 
Friday is too late. 
I would like some more time to 
consider.
Present your idea as a negative question
more polite 
Shouldn’t we reschedule the 
meeting? 
Couldn’t you revise the offer? 
Isn’t Friday too late? 
Wouldn’t you like some more time 
to consider?
Present your idea as an 
indirect question
#8
You can make questions even more polite by presenting them 
as indirect or embedded questions. 
Indirect questions create distance from what you want or 
need from the other person, which makes requests more 
polite, observations less confrontational, and suggestions 
more of a strong nudge than criticism. 
Since these questions include more hesitation and distance in 
the way they are formed, they are considered extra polite.
Present your idea as an indirect question
more direct 
We should reschedule the 
meeting. 
Have you decided yet? 
Isn’t Friday too late? 
I want more time to think about it.
Present your idea as an indirect question
more polite 
I wanted to know if we can 
reschedule the meeting. 
I was wondering if you’ve decided 
yet. 
I’m not sure if Friday is too late. 
I was thinking that we’d want more 
time to think about it.
Use past and past 
continuous expressions
#9
These special expressions show consideration of the other 
person’s feelings and demonstrate our own flexibility. Placing 
our opinions in the past suggests that this desire was just a 
passing thought, not a urgent request or demand; this gives 
the other person space to respond without regret. 
Native speakers don’t actually hear the past tense when you 
use these expressions; instead, they hear the polite distancing 
of the request. They understand that your request is current.
Use past and past continuous expressions
more direct 
What time is your appointment? 
Are you going to accept the job? 
We already discussed your 
proposal. 
I want to make pizza for dinner.
Use past and past continuous expressionsmore polite 
I wanted to check what time your 
appointment is. 
We were hoping that you’re going 
to accept the job. 
We were discussing your proposal. 
I was considering making pizza for 
dinner.
Use the plural “we” instead 
of “I” or “you”
#10
As you have noticed from the previous strategies, sounding 
more polite involves being inclusive and involving the other 
person’s feelings and perspective in the way you present your 
feedback, opinion, suggestion, or request. 
To make this inclusiveness even more explicit, you can use 
the plural “we” instead of presenting your idea with “I” or 
“you.” This indicates that you are considering the other 
person as much as yourself.
Use the plural “we” instead of “I” or “you”
more direct 
I need to cancel the meeting. 
You should take some time to 
think about it. 
I have several suggestions. 
You should be more positive.
Use the plural “we” instead of “I” or “you”
more polite 
We need to cancel the meeting. 
We should take some time to think 
about it. 
We have some suggestions. 
We should be more positive.
Let’s Review
1. Use modal verbs 
2. Use negative contractions 
with positive adjectives 
3. Use “not very” 
4. Use qualifiers 
5. Use comparatives
10 Ways to Sound More Polite
6. Present your idea as a question 
7. Present your idea as a negative 
question 
8. Present your idea as an indirect 
question 
9. Use past and past continuous 
expressions 
10. Use the plural “we” instead of “I” 
or “you”
Conversation Anatomy
As you continue to study the anatomy of a conversation, you 
will learn more communication strategies. Pay attention to 
how they work together so that you strengthen your ability to 
predict the flow of conversation and respond accordingly. 

Like the systems of a human body, all of 
these conversation skills work together.
http://conversationanatomy.com
http://conversationanatomy.com