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HOW TO MAKE SOMEONE OBSESSED WITH YOU
 
THE ART OF POWER AND CONTROL OVER SOMEONE BY CAUSING
THEM TO OBSESS OVER YOU.
scarlett kennedy
 
 
Copyright © 2016 by Scarlett Kennedy. All Right Reserved.
No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in
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electronic or mechanical methods, or by any information storage and
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except in the case of very brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and
certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.
 
This book was published thanks to free support and training from:
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liability disclaimer
 
The information provided within this eBook is for general informational
purposes only. While we try to keep the information up-to-date and correct,
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there are no representations or warranties, express or implied, about the
completeness, accuracy, reliability, suitability or availability with respect to
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eBook for any purpose. Any use of this information is at your own risk.
The methods describe within this eBook are the author’s personal thoughts.
They are not intended to be a definitive set of instructions for this project.
You may discover there are other methods and materials to accomplish the
same end result.
The information contained within this eBook is strictly for educational
purposes. If you wish to apply ideas contained in this eBook, you are taking
full responsibility for your actions.
The author has made every effort to ensure the accuracy of the information
within this book was correct at time of publication. The author does not
assume and hereby disclaims any liability to any party for any loss, damage,
or disruption caused by errors or omissions, whether such errors or
omissions result from accident, negligence, or any other cause.
 
 
Warning:
 
I frequently receive emails along the lines of:
“You aren’t just a manipulative bitch. You’re the devil. You need to take
down this site. Why are you enabling more psychopaths and sociopaths?”
Why?
Mainly because I am enabling society to become better versions of
themselves. We were already this way. We already knew the power we had,
but lost it to society’s conditioning. We became powerless slaves. But now I
am helping you regain back that power, by giving the most potent form of
power in the world: the power of obsession.
For those of you who think I’m the devil:
I am trying to protect you from evil. All this information is used on you
daily. From the media, work, to people you know. (whether they
consciously realize it or not.) Once you know all this, you are protected and
you are less likely to fall prey. Your own psychology is being used against
you. For people, and big corporation’s own personal monetary benefits.
Please mentally note that all the things you are learning will eventually
corrupt you in many ways psychologically. You will hold in your hands,
people’s emotions, and sanities. People will submit tremendous amounts of
power to you.
So, be prepared for it. All of the information you are learning here will
either make or break a person’s life. If you can’t handle this truth, put the
book down.
 
Table of Contents
liability disclaimer
Warning:
introduction
My story.
What is this about:
Why would I want people obsessed with me?
How am I different?
How to read this book:
Chapter 1
The causes of obsession
The person is your idealized version:
The person fills in the cracks within your psyche.
The person revives/relieves a memory/ person you are missing.
The person brings out your most deep suppressed sides.
Chapter 2
Target psychology
how to pick and choose your targets
what is the perfect lover?
masculine and feminine psychology
target type: the nerd
target type: the control freak
target type: the innocent one
target type: the pushover
TARGET TYPE: the “tough” one.
target type: the child
target type: the narcissist
target type: the histrionic
target type: the rich person
target type: the player
target type: the knight in shining armour
target type: the commitment phobe
when two of the same kind get together
the types of people you can’t seduce
Chapter 3
starting the process
pain and pleasure
the essence of grief
timing
get their attention
creating rapport
be a mystery
Imply a dark side
social proof and becoming obsessed
the equal, superior, and inferior
single minded attention
make your target feel insecure
Your exclusivity
play innocent
be in the present moment
become the flawless illusion
the small details
go beyond our physical existence
play against your stereotype
leave your baggage at the door
romanticize everything
their experience with you
reverse psychology
what are you associated with?
will they approach you?
are you listening?
resistance
Conclusion
Chapter 4
be careful what you wish for: the potential corruptions
introduction
stalkers
abusing your power
paranoia
maintenance
guilt
why aren’t they trying to win me back?
Falling into your own trap: falling in love
Who was seduced here?
Analysis paralysis
Identity/existential crisis
apathy
Chapter 5
conclusion
How you cut them off
Leave them obsessed forever
About The Author
other upcoming books by scarlett kennedy
One Last Thing...
 
 
introduction
 
My story.
 
My name is Scarlett Kennedy. I wanted to earn a reputation as the girl who
had massive power over everyone. Primarily through them being obsessed
with me. The root cause is because everyone thought I was uglier than the
ugly duckling. If people weren't characterizing me as monstrous, spineless,
or creepy, they were busy ignoring me. What's worse than being hated?
Everyone ignoring you. My insecurities drove me to learn the human mind,
to gain power and influence over people. The power of having people under
my control, and the pleasure of knowing they believe it was their idea.
My observations about everyone around me, was that they struggled for
power. One person wanted to be the " fairest " of them all. One person
thought he had all the power because he drove a Maserati to work, and a
Ferrari on weekends. Someone else wanted to claim the power of the
scholar. Another, felt powerful when they were rescuing their junkie
friends. All these people had power. Although, it was never sufficient for
them. People are consistently searching for multiple ways to acquire power.
A common theme between all these people was that they wanted to
overpower people. I always had a hunch that power, and obsession had
something to do with it.
It wasn't until the age of sixteen, that I was motivated to actively begin my
journey of research about how to influence people. Concurrently, I was
desperate to find a boyfriend. Not because I wanted love, but because I was
deprived of any love, attention or approval during my childhood. At
sixteen, I believed that I could finally fill this void with an external source:
a boyfriend.
I had potential prospects, but they had chewed me up, and spit me out. I had
gotten my hopes up, then crushed. Repeatedly. I was overtaxed with
rejection.
The day the second prospect overtly rejected me, tears fell down my face.
As I finished crying, I questioned why we fell in love, and obsessed in the
first place. After uncovering valuable information, I felt relief.
Months later, I had disregarded the information and forgotten all about it.
Then, I developed another obsession: To have a wealthy boyfriend. The
pattern repeated itself again. This time with more progress. My first wealthy
boyfriend appeared aloof, and unconcerned with me. 
After him and I mutually ended things, I recalled the knowledge I had
discovered on how to make one obsessed with you. I became devoted to
learning the art of having someone obsessed with you. I purchased books,
courses, attended webinars, and seminars. Anything I could get my hands
on. I was hungry for allthe knowledge.
It took me years to learn and fully master what worked, and what didn't
work. And, the courage to test it on people, with the results being positive.
I began a blog, for the sole purpose of recording my target's psychology.
What techniques would work for them, and which wouldn't. The mistakes I
have made, and how I planned to correct them. A trial and error blog, so to
speak.
 
People took notice to my blog, and my inbox was flooded with emails about
the same questions I had, in the beginning. Except, I had the answers.
I created this book to shorten your learning curve, and answer all your
questions. Basically, I saw a lack in other people’s informational products,
and wanted to fulfill it.
 
What is this about:
 
This book is about how and why people become obsessed. It is about the
immense power you can have over people, by making fall deeply in love
with you. Essentially, obsessed with you. You've seen the power obsession
has over people. A part of you questions why a person could be obsessed
with another person, place, trend, or hobby. Another part of you, wishes to
have that effect on people. You notice actions people take to gratify their
obsessions. People will go to the ends of the world for their obsession.
Especially when it comes to a person they're obsessed with. A person
obsessed is a person under your control. Obsession is the most potent form
of power out there. Because obsession is what drives us. Obsession creates
a burning desire within us.
Look all around you at the people you're closest to, your co workers, the
people walking by you on the street. We're all experiencing a conflicting
desire for power. Behind closed doors, we yearn for it, but try to push it
away and be " humble. " The precise truth is, you see people who are
powerful and the flames of desire for power, ignite again. Powerful people
can be powerful in different ways. The power of beauty. Intellect, money,
an authoritative figure like a cop, politicians, and business people. Everyone
wants a different form of power, but the common theme between all them?
We want power over people. We try to win over people by doing things that
impress us, not them. We believe these things will impress people because it
impresses you. Or, society has programmed it into your mind. However,
that doesn't mean it'll impress them.
Obsession works because people believe their obsessed feelings are THEIR
feelings. People resist other forms of " persuasion " because people are
aware of your manipulations. We believe our obsessions are true love. The
overused quote is true, love DOES conquer all. Our obsessions captivate us
because it takes us to a different level of reality. A more amusing, idealistic,
romanticized, one. It makes us feel alive.
If you're going to win people over, may as well go all the way. Don't just get
them to like you. That's mainstream. Get them to obsess over you. Be on
their minds 24/7. Everything is mental. Obsession starts in the mind. If you
can occupy and control their minds, you can do anything. This is what true
power is.
 
 
Why would I want people obsessed with me?
 
Because obsession starts in the mind. Obsession is all psychology. If you
can control someone's mind, you can control their emotions. If you can
control their emotions, you can control their everything. You won't have to
worry about the power struggle. Because you'll hold it in your hands.
Why do you think cult leaders, politicians, even the asshole at work are
most worshipped? Celebrities could make you do and believe anything. You
may wonder why people fall under their spells. It's not because they're
trying all these sleazy salespeople tactics on you. It's because they have that
obsessive effect on people. They don't need to try. They just do it. Now you
won't have to try either.
After all, a person who lusts after you can forget about you. A person " in
love " will go to the ends of the world.... just for you.
 
 
How am I different?
 
I don't just focus on generalizing people. The reason you can't get someone
to like you in the first place is because you don't understand them. Other
programs, and books give you generalized advice. What they don't
understand is that people are unique. We have unique minds, and different
things appeal to different people. You just have to understand what will
appeal to them, then apply required techniques. I'll teach you how to
understand people. What techniques to apply to certain people and
situations.
Would you feed someone spaghetti, if their personalities revealed they
prefer Alfredo sauce? Would you do doggy style in bed, if you knew they
hated it? No, you want to appeal to their needs. In this case, you'll have to
appeal to their psychological needs.
Everyone fits into a specific category of personas. Usually mixed. Finding
out which category they fit into, will aid in appealing to their psychology.
Many people disregard the power of what personas people fit into. I don’t.
Personas are inherent within us. We play different personas everyday.
 
 
 
How to read this book:
 
I know the value of having all the important information in one place.
Everything is straightforward. I put everything into sections. Nothing is
ambiguous. I'll guide you to which sections to read through, if you want to
know more information. I answer common questions are dying to have
answered.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Chapter 1
The causes of obsession
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
The most googled things: " How and/or why. "
I'm going to supply you the " why " people become obsessed. And, the "
how " on how to take advantage of this cause.
 
The person is your idealized version:
 
Who are you in your ideal world? In our fantasy world, we are someone
different in contrast to who we are, in the real world. In my fantasy world,
I'm someone else compared to who I am in the real world. We all have
narcissistic characteristics. We want someone to reflect who we are.
Oftentimes, we aren't who we want to be. We aren't as self assured,
seductive, badass, or impulsive as we'd like to be. Rather, we're
incompetent, awkward, and restricted. Have someone obsess over you, by
mirroring the idealized versions of themselves.
 
How to take advantage of this:
Discover what their idealized versions of themselves may be. We all do
things that fulfill our psychological needs. What do they try to portray
themselves as? What celebrities are they drawn to? What characteristics do
they appear to notice about people? What things do they hate? The things
they hate, may give you insight into what threatens their idealized version
of themselves.
A story:
I mention a friend " Mary " often in this book. She's fifteen years old than
me. She talks about her youth till the cows come home. She's in her thirties.
She tried to project the image of someone who had money, many wealthy
admirers, and a glamorous lifestyle. She didn't have any of that,
nevertheless, I knew that was her idealized self.
Luckily, I did have all those things. I diverted speaking about it. Instead, I
gave her a taste of my lifestyle. I brought her to events, only VIP got invited
to, took her to where the rich and wealthy hung out, in the city. This made
her obsessed.
I would give her a taste, then disappear for weeks, telling her I had been
partying on someone’s yacht. I told her these things because it withdrew her
desires to live a luxurious lifestyle. This left her wanting more.
Ironically, the last time I saw her, she came to terms with her idealized self,
and is trying to make that lifestyle happen. Good for her.
 
 
The person fills in the cracks within your psyche.
 
We all feel hollow in some way. We seek what we are deficient in,
internally, externally. People discuss the desire to find a partner to complete
a void. The void that they speak of, is what they lack internally. Many
people speculate the void they have is one generalized thing. However,
everyone has different lacks. Most people aren't aware of what they're
missing in their lives.They just assume someone will fill in the unoccupied.
 
How to take advantage of this:
Find out what a person is deprived of, in their lives. You can usually see
what someone is lacking in their lives, through what kind of music they
listen to, and what movies they watch. For example, if someone who works
all the time, watches action movies often, it may give away that they feel
they are needing action, adventure, and variety in their lives.
 
A story:
A lady named Anna- Belle was permanently at the library. It was like she
resided there. The library was my refuge. We never spoke in the library, just
made short eye contact. She always caught my eye by how immersed she
was in the books she was reading. I recognized what was going on in the
books, because her facial reactions would reveal it. We hadn't spoken until,
one day when the library was closing, and it started heavily raining. I didn't
have an umbrella, nor did I care to have one. I simply accepted that I was to
walk in the cold rain that night. As I began to walk, she drove by me, rolled
down her windows and asked if I wanted a ride home. I didn't want a ride
home, but I wanted the company. I deliberately lied about where I lived,
telling her I lived one hour away from the library, rather than five minutes
away. Why? Because I wanted to get to know her. Lastly, because I couldn't
trust her knowing my address.
I gathered some information about her during the car ride:
She's a washed up actress.
She used to make a substantial amount of money as an actress, and now is
in her mid thirties, living off pay check to pay check.
What she primarily talked about, was the character in the book she was
reading. The character was her idealized version. As we got to know each
other, the characters in the books that were her favorite, had themes
between them.
The characters were always a damsel in distress who synchronously, had an
abundant lifestyle. Little parts of her wanted to play the victim, but she
suppressed it, as soon as it she noticed it came out.
Furthermore, she spoke of a past lover who had always saved her from
herself.
Her cracks were easy to fulfill. All I had to do was play the rescuer. First, I
had to instill feelings of hopelessness in her. Then rescue her from her
feelings of hopelessness.
What she was lacking in her life, was someone to rescue her.
 
 
 
The person revives/relieves a memory/ person you
are missing.
 
Our minds are perpetually looking to revive memories that were pleasant.
Whether it be past memories, past characteristics in your former friends, or
past hobbies you participated in. Our minds always seem to be in a state of
nostalgia.
How to take advantage of this:
First, you must ascertain what someone's state of mind is. If their minds are
in the present, past, or future. Listen to what they're always bringing up.
Here's how to tell what state of mind they are in:
Present: they're endlessly talking about what's going on right now, in the
moment.
Past: They bring up past memories. " remember this. " " I remember when.
" " There was a time when... "
Future: " I can't wait to do this. " Future plans, among other examples.
 
Story:
 
In my late teens, I was a model. The perks of being a model were
invitations to numberless VIP events and parties, including fashion shows,
magazine launches, movie festivals, etc. I had met an " important "
photographer at a fashion show. All the ladies were all over him, and it just
made me want to conquer him. It was revealed, he wasn't all that dignitary.
He reminisced in all the crazy, fun, adventurous things he did when he was
my age. How much he was longing to revive those memories once again.
He also mentioned that no one wanted to participate, because the activities
were too risky.
 
What I did:
I did the things he wished someone would, when he was my age. Speeding
in the middle of nowhere, climbing cell towers. Here's the plot twist: I was
looking for someone to do these things with me too.
 
 
 
The person brings out your most deep suppressed
sides.
 
How to take advantage of this:
You find out what their suppressed sides are by what movies they watch,
what they laugh at, what Freudian slips may confess themselves. These are
ways our suppressed sides, reveal themselves. Then, provoke the
suppressed sides, either by having the characteristics of their suppressed
sides, or luring them into situations that will awaken their suppressed
selves.
 
A story:
I had met an attractive man named Robert, during a peaceful walk down the
waterfront. He had caught my attention, because of his prominent Irish
accent. Irish and Scottish accents turned me on. I immediately pointed out
how much I admired his accent, and we got to talking. As we began to
know each other, I saw a pattern in what he liked to converse about.
" So, are you going home now to do your little girly things? " I had no clue
what girly things were, considering I was a girl. He had an bizarre
obsession with my nails as well. He frequently criticized the men in the city,
for being " too emotional. " and, " kinda gay, and feminine. "
This gave me insight into his inner self and world. His constant criticism of
the male's femininity in our city, showed his resistance to his own
femininity. Patiently, and slowly, I enabled his femininity to peak through
the cracks.
One day, I had asked him if he could drive me to the spa. As I had foreseen,
he asked me if " I was going to do any girly manicure business things. " I
told him yes, and innocently asked him if he would join me. His eyes
sparkled, and he drifted off. It was almost as if his imaginations wandered
off into the luxurious feminine things we would be indulging in.
He tried to play it cool, but agreed. If, I kept our feminine indulges a big fat
dirty secret.
Takeaways:
All I had to do was lure him into a " feminine " circumstance, and tempt
him. 
 
 
 
 
 
Chapter 2
Target psychology
 
 
 
 
 
 
This chapter will be about the diverse categories and types of people you
can get to obsess over you. Everyone fits into a category. Because no one
person has the same psychology.
You need to understand, analyze and observe the people you are going to
make obsessed with you.
Targets are categorized by what is missing in their lives. Their motivations,
their idealized selves, and what past memories they want to revive.
Once you've gotten a grasp on what category they fall into, there will be
steps you must follow. I will provide tips that will appeal to your target.
Everyone falls in love nonconformably, which is why it is important you
appeal to his or her " category " psychology.
Remember everyone could fall into more than one target category. So it's all
about the right timing.
In this chapter, I provide you with:
-A description of the victim type.
-Signs your target fits into this category.
-Possible psychological causes.
-Note: These are just general descriptions. Since we are all different, two
different people could be the identical in behavior, but for two different
reasons. You must find the accurate reasons.
-How you get them to fall in love with you. And, their matching archetype.
-Things you need to avoid if you want them to fall for you.
-What is missing in their lives.
-Their motivations.
-Idealized selves.
-Suppressed desires and dark sides.
(Also see: ideal lover) At the end, I will provide personality profiles from
people that I have met, and people that I successfully seduced. Or, people
that I have advised, or other people’s relationships.
 
 
 
 
how to pick and choose your targets
 
You can't have everyone under your spell. You must elect a specific type of
person.
Here are some key points on who would be ideal and why.
1) Natural attraction.
If your target repulses you, eventually you become resentful and will not be
able to perform to your maximum potential. Choose a target that induces
sexual or romantic tension, and things will flow beautifully between the two
of you.
2) They have something you need. Whether it is an opportunity,money, a
job, and a relationship. This is a win win because you're fulfilling their
psychological needs, deepest, suppressed, and ideal fantasies. They fulfill
whatever you wanted from them. Both of you win.
Obsession happens because a person has needs that aren’t met, usually
psychologically. And, you unconsciously meet this need. Their
subconscious mind interprets it as love, but it is all psychology.
 
 
 
Who wouldn't be ideal and why:
1) If they're genuinely a good person. (Not the pushover type, or innocent
type.) This is common sense. Don't corrupt someone's psyche if they're a
good person. It's as simple as that. Noble people deserve hugs, not
excruciating mental pain.
 
2) If you know you'll get too attached.
In the end, you may end up feeling guilty as hell. You'll think to yourself,
great. This person actually thinks it was real. (Love.) But, I just invented it.
Even if you admit to them, they'll be in denial. And/or possibly think you
are just trying to push them away. Because you may be that good at it. Or,
they will find reasons to believe you are being dishonest. Admittedly, you
will fall into your own trap.
 
3) If you're doing it for the emotional thrills.
This is what I used to do. I advise against it. Because it can and will
backfire on you. In the short term, you will find yourself with an inflated
ego. Then someone will turn the game around on you, and make you feel
like absolute garbage. Suddenly, you will find yourself with a reputation.
The heartbreaker. The slut. Player. The con artist. The cold hearted son of a
bitch. Worst one, the liar. Either way. Society puts us in corners and places
us in boxes with these labels we are supposed to identify with. If you are
going to build a reputation, build a credible, reputable one. Because trust
me, things people know about you or your reputation can follow you
around. Unconsciously people will believe these things about you, as well.
As you grow older until you retire or do business, your reputation matters.
Even getting into potential relationships, your reputation matters.
You will break hearts and people's trust. People will hate you for that. You'll
also end up looking incredibly insecure and pathetic. Word gets around
rapidly. I don't live in a small town either. But it is a small world. So better
yet, keep things to yourself. Do not make any decisions based on your ego.
4) If you know you'll end up hating them, and are repulsed. Or, if you
already hate them. There is only so much you can do before your act falls
apart, and they'll feel you were one big stupid act. Your hatred will keep
you from maintaining your hard work.
5) If they have nothing to offer you. There's nothing lower than a scumbag
who preys on people who have nothing to offer you, material and monetary
wise.
For example: my mother and grandma were at the mall. A lady and my
grandmother start chatting. This lady was selling a vitamin drink, and told
my grandma that if she wanted to get rich, my grandma should sell this
product. Note that my grandma is naive. Best selling products and books
are the ones that make things that seem complex. appear effortless.
The sad thing is, we can all get rich. If we did something about it. But, do
not prey on people who cannot offer you, what you desire. If you want to
make money selling that product, than sell to the rich. Duh?
 
 
what is the perfect lover?
 
When you're on a date and someone asks you " so what are you looking for
in a man/woman? " Or the alternative: " What are you looking for in a
relationship? "
Often times we hear these familiar answers: we need to get along. Treat me
well, etc. While these are valuable, these are answers coming from the
conscious mind. What you'll want to know is what their subconscious mind
desires. This is where the perfect lover criteria fit in. We all have different
ideals that a partner and relationship consist of.
The problem with many popular articles about being the " perfect "
girlfriend, or boyfriend, is that the person writing the articles, believes that
one size fits all. This is false. These articles do not apply to everyone. You
must find out what someone's ideal lover is, then play to their preferences.
 
Our perfect lover criteria consists of:
 
**Note: The ideal lover criteria are also the causes of obsession. (See:
Chapter 2)
 
What they're lacking. (A.k.a The void.)
 
A person, who is lacking something in their lives, feels they have a void.
This void consists of specific internal lacks. People are unaware of what
their internal lacks are; hence they search for external resources to fulfill the
lacks they are unaware of.
Internal lacks develop when we are children. The internal lacks we have
developed, are the lacks we had in our childhood, or past experiences.
 
Their insecurities.
 
When we were children, we believed we were perfect. Then, someone close
to us told us otherwise. Our noses were too bulbous, we had potbellies.
Insecurities develop because do we do not feel secure in a specific area of
our lives. Most people will deny their insecurities, and find something to
make them feel better about their insecurities, or compensate in another
area of their lives.
 
The people that make us feel good about our insecurities are a part of our
ideals.
 
Their idealized selves.
 
In our perfect world, we are someone else. This is called our idealized self. 
However, in the real world, we cannot be our idealized selves. There are
many possibilities as to why this may happen:
1) You don't have the right circumstances.
2) You don't believe you can.
3) It’s " wrong. "
4) You currently don't have the resources to transform into your idealized
self.
 
Our suppressed sides.
Our suppressed sides are sides of ourselves that we suppress, or our
subconscious mind represses. Due to the same reasons as the " idealized
self. " One, who can bring out our suppressed sides, is the one we can
escape to.
 
 
 
Things, people and memories we wish to revive again.
Our minds are always searching to revive past pleasant memories.
 
 
 
Someone who reflects ourselves onto us.
We tend to like people who are similar to us. Someone who agrees on
tastes, values, and similar preferences. After all, you'll need to agree on
something.
When we meet someone, our subconscious mind is always searching for
people that may fit one or more of these criteria. When we become
obsessed with someone, they have either fulfilled one or all of the above.
This is usually not the case though. Most of the time, we find different
outlets to fulfill our ideal lover criteria.
For example: A shy person may turn to an outgoing person to fulfill his
idealized self. Yet, he may go to video games to revive his childhood. He
watches bondage porn because it releases his aggressive side. He follows a
former body builder online, because he is insecure about his anorexic body
image, and lacks adventure in his life, so he spends all night watching
action movies.
Now, a person could go to other people rather than items or events. Here is
an example:
Jenna can't choose between the five men she's seeing.
John soothes her insecurities about her income by assisting her financially.
Yet, she goes back to Tom because he revives past memories of her teenage
years. He revives her teenage years because he was once her high school
teacher. Jake brings out her naughty sexual side she has to suppress, and
Jake's brother whom she is secretly obsessed with is her idealized self. He's
completely free and liberated; he does what he wants, when he wants. He
has no psychological restrictions. Yet, Tom fulfills her internal lack of
peace, by practicing meditation.
Jenna's needs are spread out to different people.
 
 
 
Timing:
Timing plays an important role, because during different periods of our
lives, different needs become prioritized, you must watch for this. (For
more details see: timing)
 
Why people never stay in the honeymoon phase:
The honeymoon phase is over when the other person starts to notice cracks
in your personality,such as dark secrets revealed, disgusting habits, past
activities that put you in a different light. You can avoid this by continually
playing their ideal lover, and having the correct timing. Once they see these
potential pet peeves, they stop projecting, and become repulsed.
 
 
 
Ideal lovers are all about projection:
 
This is merely about projection. The other person gives the person
ammunition to project. They show hints of qualities that could potentially
be characteristics of the ideal lover. The person projecting doesn't know
enough about the other person; therefore their mind fills in the gaps, by
projecting images of what we want to see in the other person.
 
 
 
masculine and feminine psychology
 
" Women are so complicated. "
" God, men are so puzzling. "
Note: these are generalized. Not every female will think this way, and not
every male will think this way. These are simply masculine and feminine
mindsets. This is why I say " masculine vs. feminine brain. " Any gender
could adapt both.
Sound familiar? Maybe you or someone you know, believe the opposite
gender's existence is intricate. Why though?
You don't comprehend the masculine/feminine brain. This is why you
believe the opposite genders are complex.
Females expect men to think and behave like them. Men believe women
will think and operate like them. Then they realize they don't. It's treating a
cat like a dog. It just doesn't work. You would treat and communicate with
cats how they should be treated. When applied, the there will be a great deal
of satisfaction on both sides.
 
Communication.
 
Women tend to talk more, and want to share their emotions. Men talk less,
but will want to solve the problem.
Men are more visual. Women care more about personality.
Men are like hunters, and women are the receivers. Which means men like
to provide, and give. The women will receive, because they're receptive.
Men laugh when they think something is funny. Women laugh when they
think it’s appropriate.
Women are more empathetic. Men are more logical.
Everything in the woman's brain is connected. Everything in men's brains
has various compartments.
Men have more gray matter, and women have more white matter. Meaning
women process things much faster than men do.
Men are more likely to fall in love if they feel protective over you. This is
an instinct in men.
Since men are more visual, you can communicate with them visually.
Women are more kinesthetic.
Man example: I can't wait to be in your arms tonight. (Visual.)
Woman: it'll feel good to have you in my arms tonight. (Feeling.)
Note: not every male/female thinks visually/kinesthetic.
Men are competitive. If you want to use this against a male, be suggestive
of having other options. As in, partners.
Women: men are hunters innately. If you want him to commit to you, don't
bring it up, or even hint at it at all. Be independent.
Men are fixers.
Men will fall in love with someone who is intriguing... not perfect.
How to take advantage of this knowledge:
We are all narcissistic by nature. This means we want people to mirror the
similar gender traits onto us. If you can show the opposite gender you have
the similar psychology, and understand it, they fall in love.
 
 
 
target type: the nerd
 
Description:
Nerds intellectualize everything. They are analytical. They are constantly
analyzing everything.
 
 
What is missing in their lives:
 
An adventure. A chance to experience things through their senses, not logic.
 
 
Their motivations:
To be superior with all their knowledge.
 
Deepest darkest desires/Potential suppressed parts of themselves:
To get out of their mental prisons, out of their heads. And, into the world.
All they lack are the resources.
 
Idealized selves:
A mixture of an intellectual, sensual, and adventurous spirit. The genuine
meaning of sensual is experiencing everything through your senses.
 
Their psychology/Possible psychological reasons:
Their intellect often makes up their self-esteem. It makes them feel superior
to most people. If they are lacking in another department of their lives such
as looks or friendships, they compensate with their intellect. They're stuck
in mental prisons. Analyzing everything, intellectualizing everything. Their
brains are over working.
 
How to get them to obsess over you:
 
They may feel superior however; they need to get out of their own heads.
They long for it. You want to appear less smart than them intellectually,
because you'll be a threat to their superiority. Take them on an adventure.
Bring them out of their mind and into their bodies. Into the moment. Be
spontaneous. And, be irrational. Be emotional. Act on your impulses, and
emotions. (Don't over do it, though.) Never explain to them why you have
such desires. Just be impulsive, and all caught up in your desires, that you
won't have the time to explain why you have them. If you explain why,
you're bringing them back to their logical mental prison. Because, it'll help
them analyze you. Which is what you want them to escape from. Give them
an experience that pertains to all five of their senses.
Be more dominant, and the leader, when it comes to experiences.
 
What not to do. How to get them to hate you:
Show off your intellect. Whatever their niche is, don't be smarter. Do not
show you know more. Don't even show you know a thing or two. Although,
you can challenge them. The difference between challenging someone's
ego, versus threatening is their ego is that challenging someone's ego
requires questioning their authority, in a fun playful way. Threatening
someone's ego involves making him or her feel inferior, angry and making
him or her feel like his or her knowledge is not valid.
 
Matching archetype:
The innocent, sexual and adventurous.
 
How you can tell:
They usually have the label of the " nerd, or scholar " already.
Stereotypically a nerd is someone who has an interest in: science, physics,
math, computers, and technology. While that is true, you must watch
someone's language. If they have an innate curiosity. And, always asks why,
how, what, where, and when. They need to know things and analyze things,
and they think or read into things too deeply. They're the intellect. They like
reading. Learning. Possibly writing. And, have a knack for soaking up
information.
 
An example:
I had an ex boyfriend who was the prime example of intellect. He has been
in love with me since I was 15. Now I'm in my twenties. We are the same
age, but when we first met, I was so irrational. I went by all my impulsive
desires. Definitely not as intelligent as him. At the time. So that made him
feel superior. I brought him out of his mental prison. Introduced him to the
world of drugs. Took his virginity. Drove fast cars with him, took him on
unpredictable, dangerous, adventures. Talk about experiencing through
senses eh? I wanted him to experience something different. Something out
of his own mind. A different world. My world.
 
 
 
target type: the control freak
 
Description
Someone who wants to dominate everything. It is the obsessive and
compulsive desire to control everything every thing.
 
Possible psychological reasons:
-It is usually based on fear.
-They lost control of something in their lives.
-They never had control in their life.
-Growing up, they were surrounded by were control freaks.
-Some accident came up, and they had lots of uncertainty. So, now they're
driven by certainty.
-They feel powerless.
 
What is missing in their lives:
A sense of security. Control freaks try to gain a sense of security by
attempting to control everything. Little do they know, the more they try to
control, the less security they gain.
Their motivations:
To have certainty, by controlling everything. Or, at least trying to.
 
Idealized selves:
To either be in control of everything, or completely lose all control. This
could be their suppressed self as well.
 
How to get them to fall in love and their matching archetype:
A control freak has dominant feelings of wanting control.So if you can
evoke that feeling within them... you're good to go. It's all about creating
and putting them on an emotional roller coaster. One minute they feel like
you're under their control. Next minute, they can't control you. They'll grow
attached and will continue to chase you, as long as they are under the
impression that there is a chance they can control you.
 
Here's what you can do:
Appear as someone they can control. Mainly, the innocent type. As they
begin to believe they can control you, trigger their inner control freak. First,
realize what they were trying to control. Did they try to stop you from going
out? Tried to stop you from doing certain activities? Start doing those
doings. Go out more often. Do the activities they thought you wouldn't do
anymore. For example, when I got a celebrity's husband to obsess over me,
I could see he was a control freak because the first words he said to me
were " if you're late tomorrow, I'm going to keep bothering you for the rest
of the seminar. " The seminar or course was one year. I was late almost
everyday. The next day, I gave him the hope that he could control me. By
being early. I saw the sparkle in his eyes. When he got used to it, I started
coming late everyday. This grew his need to control me much stronger than
if I stayed under his control. It's small things like that, that hint at being a
potential control freak.
What to avoid:
-Being the other control freak.
-Avoid being too uncontrollable.
-Also avoid being too under control.
-To summarize two extremes aren't good.
How to get them to hate you:
Be boring. Be completely under their control. Lose all control. So they can't
control you anymore.
How you can tell:
They're always trying to " help " you.
They need to know certain things that aren't necessary for them to know.
Like:
Where are you going?
With who?
Why are you going?
What time are you coming home? (Even if they don't live with you.)
They ask you questions and try to make it seem like they're concerned for
you, truthfully they're concerned about not being able to control you.
Ex. you're going out now? I think you should go to bed, Hun. It's really late,
aren't you tired?
-They need excessive information about your past.
 
An example:
A guy I dated Palmer. I went on a one-week vacation to Asia. He called me
every single minute. " To talk, and make sure I was safe. " When we first
started dating, I played the innocent, adventurous, intelligent type. He felt
safe and secure because he felt I could be controlled, and manipulated
easily. As time went on, and his security grew, I changed it up. I would
wake up in the middle of the night, walk over to my neighbor’s house, we
would drive his Porsche over to an empty highway, and speed all night.
 
One night I left my place at around 2AM to walk over to my neighbor’s.
Just when Palmer had fallen asleep.
I got back at 4AM, and just like a lame clich é movie, he's sitting at the
kitchen table, in the dark. He had confronted me that he knew I was leaving
almost every night. He didn't know what I was doing. He assumed I was "
cheating " on him. Yes, with a beautiful Porsche that satisfied me much
more than Palmer did. The pain and suffering he was in, due to his beliefs
of me cheating made me feel guilty. So I broke, and showed him what I
REALLY did in the middle of the night.
He wanted to " help " me. I refused. He grew weaker and weaker for me.
Eventually I told him I wanted to change, I didn't want to be this kind of
person anymore. I stayed with that good girl routine for a while, until I went
back to speeding in that beautiful Porsche all night long. He became even
more attached. Eventually it backfired on me. And, he became way too
controlling. So I ended things. It was fun while it lasted.
He wanted to control me, and change me into what he thought was the
perfect girl. He was on an emotional roller coaster. He was angry, sad,
disappointed. Then he was happy when I became that perfect under control
girl. I gave him hope. Then crushed it. What he didn't realize was that, me
being uncontrollable was making him become more obsessed with me. Due
to his strong need for control.
 
 
 
target type: the innocent one
 
I personally prefer the innocent ones. The virginal. Pure kind. They're the
easiest to manipulate and I enjoy overwhelming them with the power I hold
over them. I enjoy being their first. I find pleasure in protecting the
innocent, yet adding a touch of corruption in their lives. (Yes, I fit into the
rescuer category.)
 
Description:
The innocent is someone who has uncorrupted eyes. They haven't
experienced the weight of the world, and they see everything in a bright,
naive light. Or, they have no bias towards the world. Their tastes are much
like the pushover.
 
Their psychology/ Possible psychological causes:
 
Innocent people feel inferior. They feel they don't have enough knowledge
and experience; therefore they want to be lead. They don't want to be
treated like children because many people treat them like children. Getting
like a child often makes the person on the receiving end appear inferior, and
spineless. Even if they're grown adults. They're curious just like a child.
They find their innocence a liability; it takes away from their lives. People
associate sweet, nice and innocence with weakness. Innocent people are
aware of this, and don't want to be seen this way, anymore.
 
I know because I look younger than my actual age and people treat me this
way. I'm in my early twenties, and people have asked me " what grade are
you in, and what high school are you going to? " They want to get out of
that, and explore. I wanted to. Innocents want to possibly explore
corruption. A dark side. The more people taunt them about being innocent,
the more rebellious and dark they want to be. It’s seductive to them. It gets
them curious.
 
Why? Because the more you tell someone not to be or do something, they
think about it even more. Even consider planning out how they're going to
accomplish the things you specifically ordered them not to do. (Reverse
psychology.)
 
How to get them to fall in love and their matching archetype:
Have some kind of dark side, and some life experience.
You need to create some rapport and have some of their qualities.
Specifically curious, playful and childlike. However, when it comes down
to it, you must be the one leading, since they are the innocent ones.
Innocents are innately followers. They want to be lead.
 
Matching archetype:
Play the charismatic leader and teacher. Who will teach them things about
life, and lead them to experiences they only dream of.
 
What to avoid:
 
Being the innocent one. Avoid being the one who is too corrupted.
Basically, avoid extremes. Being too innocent will repulse them, because
you would not fulfill their void. Their void being the desire to escape their
innocence. Being too corrupt, will frighten them, and leave them tainted.
Having a balance of both will make them obsessed.
 
How to get them to hate you:
It would be hard for someone who is innocent and has fallen for you.
Someone who has taken away their innocence, even slightly cannot be
forgotten. The only way would be to abstain. You were their first. Memories
will haunt them. Specifically memories that took their innocence away.
 
For the innocent one to hate you, you'd have to treat them like a child, like
the others.
 
How you can tell: 
They may be a little " ignorant " or not know what you are talking about.
More submissive nature.
Naive, vulnerable.
 
What is missing in their lives:
Experience. Corruption, the dark side. Knowledge of how life works.
 
Their motivations:
To gain as much experience, knowledge, and adventure as they can.
 
Deepest darkest desires/Potential suppressed parts of themselves:
To explore their dark, rebellious, wild desires.
To show everyone how much of a bad person they may be. This could mean
rebellion, not playing their role assigned to them (the good girl, good guy).
 
Idealized selves:
Their idealizedselves are leaders. They aren't shy, but can be aggressive.
They get what they want, and when they want it. They can have the best of
both worlds by having their innocent qualities, with a mixture of dark,
daring qualities. The innocent's idealized self can show off their experience
and knowledge of the world. They've finally escaped their inferior
innocence.
 
An example:
In university, my business classes bore me. I wasn't exactly there because I
expected to work in the corporate world for the rest of my life. University
was a back up plan. So, I slacked off. Despite having higher marks than
anyone in the class. In one of the classes, I had to pair up with another
student. No one wanted to team up with me knowing how hard I worked at
slacking off. So, I was left with a girl named Ray. She sat with her head
hung low, playing with her thumbs as she avoided eye contact with anyone.
Ignoring her awkward nervous gestures, I sat next to her and introduced
myself. During our project together, she was intelligent, curious yet naive.
She hadn't even experimented with pot yet. She had no experience, only the
yearning for it. She had the dreams, but no resources to achieve them. I
knew right there and then, we were meant to be in each other's lives. I've
always been drawn to the innocent type. I never strategically planned to
make her obsessed with me. If two people naturally fit each other's target
types, and ideal lover criteria, it comes naturally, it is the best of both
worlds.
I was the first person to give her a chance to try pot. I gave her experiences
that were beyond her. From typical college parties, to fancy parties, to
getting stranded in stranger's houses and abandoned houses. These were the
experiences she was craving, taught her a few things about life, and gave
her the chance to explore her dark side.
The most ironic and clich é part of the entire experience with Ray was that
the student became better than the teacher. Eventually she knew more about
drugs, and discovered more sneaky ways we could do things. She learned
how to pick locks, knew how to speak to the police if we ever got caught
doing something illegal, and everything in between. Parts of me were
turned off that our roles had switched in this relationship. Eventually, I
didn't care, and accepted this fact. I loved Ray for who she was, and didn't
attempt to obtain anything from her, like everyone else. She was my best
friend. We stayed the best of friends, until she committed suicide in 2013.
 
 
 
target type: the pushover
 
Description: Pushovers are the ones who are " too nice. " They're the ones
who are effortlessly persuaded, and appear to have no backbone.
 
What is missing in their lives:
-The chance to explore their dark, untamed, sinister side. The best way is
for a person to enable the " nice person " is to be dark themselves. You can
also lure them into spontaneous, daring, dark adventures.
-The chance to lose their manners, and be the " bad, reckless, aggressive
cocky person " for once.
(See: imply a dark side chapter, in starting the process. " )
 
Their motivations:
-Showing they're the " good person. "
-Serving others.
-Be the protector, the hero.
 
Deepest darkest desires/ Potential suppressed parts of themselves:
-To delve into the dark side.
-To be free of their manners, their kindness and heroism.
-Possible release all control. Or, obtain a substantial amount of power.
 
Idealized self:
They're perverse, wild, aggressive, and rebellious. See which ones fit their
tastes.
 
Possible Psychological Causes:
Much of our desires, or true selves are repressed. We live in a society that
devalues expression of our desires, so we bury these desires.
Deep down inside, behind the nice person is someone who has a dark side.
They're the ones who want to be assertive, aggressive, rebellious, and wild.
They have some dark " shameful " desires. Usually what you see on the
outside, is just the opposite of what you see on the outside. It's just a front.
Nice people are sick and fed up with being the " nice guy. " They're tired of
the nice label. They want to prove just how not nice they can be. This is
because being nice is associated weakness.
 
How to get them to fall in love and their matching archetype:
All you have to do is discover what wicked desires are lingering within, and
enable it to come out.
Show you are capable of these dark desires as well. By having a wicked
side. Whatever their preferences are. They'll feel comfortable, and these
desires will slowly come out.
 
Matching archetype:
The corrupt, daring, cocky personality.
 
What to avoid:
Constantly telling them how nice they are.
Don't fully assume the " dark character. " Because they'll live through you.
What they want is for THEIR dark side to come out.
 
How you can tell they're the pushovers:
-They seem innocent.
-They're endlessly doing favors for people.
-They do not refuse.
-People put them aside. (People have less respect for people who are too
nice.)
-People usually go to them when they need something. Whether it is to talk,
get a favor, etc.
-They'll always put smiley faces in conversations, when not necessary.
-People pleasers.
 
An example:
I sat at the local Starbucks with my mom. There sat a man in front of us,
eyes shining like the bright sun, with a huge smile on his face, staring right
at my mother. Not only did his creepiness catch my attention, but also he
was an exact replica of Peter Griffin. Which made things much more
creepier. For legal purposes, we will call him Mr.Griffen. We sat there
awkwardly with his eyes burned onto my mother, until he asked us what our
ethnicities were. He proceeded to brag about how we was an engineer
working at a top tier firm. He also went on to brag about how much of a
nice guy he was. Things like the noble things he does for people, without
any expectations. He gave out all his cards way too quickly.
Further into the relationship, he was drawn to my dark personality. My dark
sense of humor, the dangerous activities I took part in, and how dangerously
I lived. Simultaneously, he despised that he couldn't control this side of me.
He was in denial about his " fantastic " marriage. He wanted to cheat, and I
gave him multiple opportunities by " joking " we should go to clubs and
find him a lady. He didn't even hesitate. Eventually, his dark side did come
out. He was much more aggressive, showed his wild side, and drove more
aggressively (which I enjoyed). Everything about him became dark. This
was the side that was dying to come out. However, he felt he could only let
out this dark side with me.
This is good, because if you're the only person that can provoke their
darkest suppressed side, they'll become emotionally dependent on you. Just
like a drug fulfills an addict's needs.
 
 
 
TARGET TYPE: the “tough” one.
 
Description:
The tough one is the person who comes off as cold, and tough. No
reactions, or emotions.
 
What is missing in their lives:
Vulnerability, emotion. Emotional liberation.
 
Their motivations: to protect themselves, by being tough and indifferent. If
you don't care, you can't get hurt. This is the motivation.
 
Deepest darkest desires/ Potential suppressed parts of themselves:
-To show emotion.
-To be a mess, to let down their walls.
-Their vulnerable side. Parts of them want someone to penetrate their high
walls.
 
Idealized self:
They're mentally and emotionally liberated.
 
How to get them to fall in love and their matching archetype:
Work on them slowly.
 
Make them feel like they are tough. Concurrently, slowly bring out their
emotions. Make them feel emotional. You'll see what they feel emotional
about when they react to something, and they nearly appear like they're
going to be happy. Then, abruptly return to being cold.
 
Matching archetype:
Play the innocent, playful fun person, with no baggage. This could be their
idealized self, appeal to this.
 
Possible psychological causes:
-They think it's cool.
-They wish they were tough, but deep down inside they are assoft as cream
pie, if they're cold and tough, no one could hurt them.
-They’ve been through so much, they're expecting bullshit. So, they put up
that exterior. If this is the case, play innocent.
-They’re bored with their lives, or bored with their physical existence.
-They were conditioned to be believed being tough, means being strong.
Especially with males.
 
 
How to get them to hate you:
Try to force a connection. Tell them you know exactly how they are. And,
that they're not fooling you. Invade their mental privacy by "
psychoanalyzing " them. Telling them who they are, among other examples.
 
How you can tell:
They seem cold all the time.
They seem indifferent.
No enthusiasm. Even though, deep down they do.
 
An example:
My friend Dan was a perfect example of the tough one. He was cold, and
tough. Every time we went out, he always wanted to go to the artistic
district of our neighborhood. One day during dinner, a lady was reading
poetry in the restaurant. His eyes lit up. It was like being stuck in a dark
room and finally finding the light switch. That was Dan. I found out he had
some roots in poetry. His mother had read poetry to him, before she passed
away. This was a part of his childhood. I slowly brought out the poet in
him. Two months go by, and his tough exterior melts. He expresses his wild
uncontrollable emotions. Around me, at least. As for everyone else, he's
still the same. I'm just the exception.
 
 
target type: the child
 
Description:
This is distinct from the innocent target. This is the person who wants to
preserve being like a child, pampered and treated like one. The difference
between the innocent target and the child is that the innocent ones want to
breakaway from their innocence. While the child wants to remain innocent,
and in a childhood state.
 
How to get them to fall in love and their matching archetype:
Play the mother or father. Be authoritative. Be the one who grounds them,
and guides them. Scold them, but not to the point where you are giving
them a lecture. They still want to feel free. But, the child still wants to feel
like the other person is a parent. Have characteristics of a parent. Take care
and nurture them, come to their rescue.
 
What is missing in their lives:
Someone to parent and nurture them.
 
Their motivations:
 
To avoid becoming an adult. This could be denial, acting out, avoiding adult
like responsibilities.
 
Deepest darkest desires/Potential suppressed parts of themselves:
The child in them is suppressed. The child that wants to be given the
attention like a child receives.
 
Idealized selves:
Their idealized selves would stay as a child in an adult body. Avoiding all
responsibilities, and indulging in playful pleasures. This could mean
watching TV. All day, playing sports, playing games, you name it.
 
What to avoid:
Being the other child. They want to be the only child. (The innocent playful
archetype.) They don't want competition, because they want all the attention
of the parent. Which you would play.
 
Possible Psychological Causes:
-Their parents paid too much attention to them, and spoiled them.
-Their parents paid no attention to them at all. So, growing up in their adult
lives, they seek out someone to play the parent they never had.
-Their present lives aren't going as desired, as a result, their mind wanders
back to a time when things were good. Their childhood. And, to specifically
find someone who made their childhood even better: their parent(s).
 
How to make them hate you:
You discipline them. Become the very strict " parent. " Become their
brother or sister. Or find out, if they had any siblings and what their
relationship was like. If they hated their sister or brother or both, find out
what they disliked about them and resemble it. But, be warned, they may
either try harder to get the old you back or, they may hate you. They may
try to get the old you back because our mind is always trying to relieve
things in the past that we miss.
 
How you can tell they're the child:
You can simply tell because they act like a child. Their eyes light up when
they are put into positions where they can be a child again, and relive their
child hood. They complain about how much they hate being responsible or
an adult. Basically, they complain about adult things. The man mentioned
below always complained, " Growing up is so fun isn't it? "
Their eyes light up when you do something a parent would. Or maybe they
talk about their parents all the time. And, good childhood memories. These
are certain things to look out for in this target type.
 
An example:
A man I know fits into this category. We'll call him Taylor. He is married to
someone I'm close with, ever since I've been a little girl. The woman I
know, we will call her Alex. He is the child. And, she is the mother. Even
the relationship with Taylor's mother shows in his marriage with Alex. He
lights up every time Alex does something motherly. He's been with girls
always older than him.
When Alex and Taylor's marriage was falling apart, Alex thought the
solution was dressing sexier. Sexy is subjective. Sexy to Alex, was skimpy
and tight dark colors. Sexy to Taylor however, was knitted material, home
cooking, you know... motherly stuff. I was chatting with Alex one day about
how her marriage was falling apart, and after realizing how Taylor was, I
just advised her to change it up and made her realize that he didn't find
skimpy, and tight sexy. He found motherly mannerisms even sexier. So she
put that to action. And, I'll tell you, he gave her a lot more attention.
I knew Taylor fit the child, because of a couple things:
-Every time we went out with Alex, he always noticed mothers. He would
make comments about mothers. And, when Alex did something motherly,
he'd literally become a child. His tone of voice would change, and he would
say " thank you Alex. " In an eerie childish tone.
-When she stopped cooking for him, and ordering him around like his
mother would, he stopped paying any attention to her. He had a rough
childhood. And guess who was always there for him, to console, and advise
him? Mommy, indeed. When she wasn't there for him, cooking, cleaning
etc. He hated that. Why? Because she wasn't being a good " mommy. " Or
wife, he tells me.
-She has a son. And obviously Alex was trying to be a mother to her son.
He hated that also, he competed with her son all the time. Even manipulated
her into kicking him out. I know he manipulated her, because well... He told
me himself. (He saw me as the go to person, to tell his marriage secrets to.)
 
 
 
target type: the narcissist
 
" It's not easy being superior to everyone I know. "
- Anonymous
 
Description:
They’re all about themselves. They're self-absorbed. Narcissists are in love
with their own images.
Note: narcissists can take on many other forms such as: someone who
believes everyone is laughing at them, following them. They think it's all
about them. Even in a negative sense. Newsflash: the world is a big place.
You're not that significant.
What is missing in their lives: complete satisfaction with themselves, and
self-esteem.
 
Their motivations: To feed their ego as much as possible.
 
Deepest darkest desires/suppressed sides:
Power, and control. To be the superior.
 
How to get them to fall in love and their matching archetype:
-You have to feed their ego, because that's how their ego survives. Once
you stop feeding it, they'll want your attention much more. Rinse, and
repeat.
-Challenge their ego. Tell them they can't do something. Watch as they
become obsessed with trying to prove you wrong.
-Occasionally be the superior. Act superior, do not say it. Remember the
rule of representing things and being them. As opposed to verbalizing what
you are.
 
Matching archetype:
-Play the innocent charmer. If you play innocent, they believe they are
superior to you. Play the smooth talker to feed their ego.
 
What to avoid, how to get them to hate you:
-Don't threaten their ego excessively.
-Don't feed their egotoo much. The codependence comes from a balance of
feeding the ego, challenging it, and pulling away.
 
Possible psychological causes:
-Had too much or too little attention.
-Too much power.
-Raised by power/attention seeking parents.
-Lacks empathy.
-Fantasy prone personality.
 
How you can tell:
-Sees everyone as competition. They need the spotlight.
-Talking about them all the time.
-Sense of entitlement.
-Fishes for compliments
-They use the words " perfect. " " Ideal. " 
-Indulge in fantasies.
-Exaggerated self worth.
 
An example:
I've known Mary all my life. She's influenced my perception of the world,
and I've adapted my narcissism from her. She is constantly mentioning the
many men that stare at her on the train. How many men want to be with her.
She sees pets as accessories and use men as tools to make her look good.
(Social proof.)
One day, I had enough. I had lunch with her, and she asked me what I was
doing for the rest of the day. I told her I was helping out my friend who was
pregnant, at the time. She told me she was going to a party, and then said, "
Are you coming? " I knew she wasn't listening, but that had crossed the
boundaries. People who don't listen are one of my biggest pet peeves.
I knew what her weaknesses were, so I decided to play around with them.
The obvious narcissistic weaknesses: vanity. Hers was beauty, and aging.
I made a date to see her again. She usually asks whom I'm seeing. So I
made sure she asked me this time. By asking her whom she was seeing. At
the time, I was dating a doctor. I told her we broke it off because I WAS
TOO YOUNG.
Her reaction was priceless. Since she was in denial of her aging, I indirectly
reminded her of the truth. By that small statement. Sometimes we become
sad, because small unconscious cues remind us of our weaknesses. So no,
it's not " just one of those days. "
She seemed depressed for a while, but couldn't put her finger on it. Her
sadness was boring, so I fed her ego again. I put her on an emotional ego
roller coaster, which led to her obsession with me.
 
 
 
target type: the histrionic
 
Description:
Someone who genuinely enjoys or even needs to have drama in their lives.
They want their lives to be like a dramatic sitcom with a never-ending
conclusion at the end. It just continues.
 
How you can tell:
They're always in some kind of fucked up situation. They regularly speak
about disorderly situations that they are currently in, or were previously a
part of. They don't discuss it like it's a problem or, they were venting, they
talk about it like it's their hobby. There are certain types of people who "
vent " about their suffering, but unconsciously like it. Sometimes different
kinds of vents are their way of trying to communicate how they are.
 
For example a girl who always " complains " about men, who stalk her or
are obsessed with her, is her way of telling you " hey I'm significant. " "
Hey people want me. "
 
Their psychology:
-They were brought up this way.
-Maybe they watched a lot of television.
-They believe their lives are boring, if there isn't drama.
-Raised in an environment that was filled with drama.
 
How you make them fall in love:
It's simple. Just give them drama. However, you'll have to be fickle. Adding
in plot twists to the drama. Or, acting in ways seems to be out of character
for you. But, not too out of character or you run the risk of your act
appearing unrealistic. What you'll want to do is add in a mixture of fantasy
and reality. Watch dramatic TV. Shows. Each character acts and reacts in
ways that fit their personality. Whatever persona you are trying to pursue to
seduce a person, play within it. Hint at a dark and dangerous side too.
Wherever there is a solution, there is a problem. Stick with the problem.
 
What not to do:
Don't be predictable. Don't be innocent. Don't be a problem solver. If there
is a solution, keep it to yourself. There are also certain types of drama that
people prefer. And, certain ones drama queens stay away from. Figure out
which type of drama they are attracted to, and give them that type of drama.
 
For example:
I was friends with a guy, who was a drama queen. He was obsessed with
this girl who was a drug addict. She would always call him up when she
was in trouble and he would come to her rescue. So that was his drama fix.
Play within their vice.
 
Archetype for this person:
The dangerous one. This'll keep them on their toes. Hope and pulling away
is very important for the drama queen. Pulling away adds to the drama.
The hopeless person. Hopeless people or damsel in distresses (male or
female) tend to land in dramatic situations.
 
What is missing in their lives:
Internal peace.
 
Their motivations:
To keep the drama going.
To keep their lives interesting, by continuing the drama.
 
Deepest darkest desires/Potential suppressed parts of themselves: To have a
routine, to have peace.
 
Idealized selves: They may idealize someone who is balanced, and well
rounded. Opposites do attract.
 
 
 
target type: the rich person
 
Description:
A rich person is a powerful person. They have power and influence.
People are constantly kissing their Asses. Thus making the powerful person
apprehensive of anyone and everyone's intentions. After all, people kiss
their Asses because they want something. Being in charge, and dominant all
the time, leaves them stiff, and create a growing desire to lose control, and
trust issues.
 
How to get them to fall in love and their matching archetype:
You have to patient. Rich powerful people are usually busy and have to
handle a substantial amount of responsibilities. They don't have much time.
So they won't have much time for you, in their minds. Meaning, you will
have to take your time and go slowly.
Act like you're superior to them. Or, like they're your equals. But, never
inferior, like everyone else does. If you act like everyone else does, or they
won't fall for you. Rich people who aren't in a relationship can get lonely.
After all, being at the top, is lonely. Primarily, because they become
suspicious and may shut people out, due to their paranoia. You may act
superior by simply acting like you don't need them. Be brutally honest
about something most people wouldn't. Make them feel a little insecure. Be
independent. Pay for your own meal. Have a life outside of them. Be cold.
Be detached. Don't be surprised by things they attempt to impress you with.
Even seem like it's not good enough. Like they're not worthy.
 
What to avoid:
Never mention money. I made a joke about stealing a hockey player’s
money when I was at a hockey game with my rich boyfriend. I was also
intoxicated out of my mind (give me some credit!) He's been distant ever
since. Never seem intimidated. Act like everything is casual. You have to
seem like you fit in. Like all this is your norm. Because you wouldn't feel
intimidated if it was your norm. And, if you fit in, great. Don't let them
intimidate you if they don’t. Intimidate them.
 
Possible psychological causes/Their psychology:
They are the way they are simply due to their power, wealth, influence, how
people treat them.
 
How to get them to hate you:
-Kiss their ass.
-Talk about all their money, be inferior to them.
 
How you can tell:
This one is pretty obvious. And if they're hiding it, you're bound to discover
sooner or later if they allow you to stick around for long. Unless he or she is
dirt poor and they truly did make an effort to impress you. Then yes. Be
impressed. Or fake it. Whatever floats your boat.
 
What is missing in their lives:
Someone they can trust.
Loss of control.
Someone to put them in their place.
 
Their motivations:
To protect themselves from " gold diggers. " (This includes men, as well.)
 
Deepest darkest desires/Potential suppressed parts of themselves:
To lose control, to be controlled. Someone to " punish them. "
 
Idealized selves:
Their lifestyles may already be ideal. However, they may have
characteristics they idealize. Perhaps they want to be more patient, kind,spontaneous. Possibly, because they lack such qualities.
 
 
 
target type: the player
 
Description:
Men aren't limited to the title of the player. Women are too. Except they're
called whores. Whores are the female equivalent of the player. Except, in
this book. I'm not talking about how the many partners a player or " whore.
" I'm not talking about how many genitals you saw, and whose vagina was
tighter vs. whose dick was bigger and thicker. I'm talking about playing a
different battlefield: people's emotions.
 
Possible psychological causes:
-If they have other options, they can't get hurt.
-It makes them feel worthy, and powerful. After all, if they have many
partners, and admirers, they are worthy... right?
-Approval from outsiders. To outsiders, the player seems confident.
Approval from the opposite gender. Or, the same gender.
-Fear of abandonment. If you're the player, you're in control. You're going
to leave anyway. (Reverse abandonment.) Even if they left first, you were
only playing them.... correct?
-They have a variety of psychological needs that one person can't fulfill. So
they diversify, and go to other people. (No shame in that.)
-They were good little girls and boys during their youth, tied down in an
exclusive relationship. Then they grow up, and think " god, did I miss out?
" Now they want to experiment.
 
What is missing in their lives:
-Satisfaction
-Self esteem
-Security (of being with someone else.)
 
Their motivations:
To protect themselves from emotional pain, and gain approval from outside
sources.
 
Deepest darkest desires/Potential suppressed parts of themselves: Their "
emotional " " committed " side.
 
Idealized selves: The player is complex. For their idealized selves, you'll
have to do lots of studying of the player.
 
How you can tell someone is a player:
-They're smooth talkers. The pretentious, corny, pathetic smooth talkers.
(who have possibly said the same things to other people.)
-They're incredibly flirty.
-Incredibly outgoing and " confident. "
-They seem bored often.
-Shares lots of sex jokes.
-Talk about other girls/guys. Their past relationships.
 
How to get them to obsess over you:
Understand why they're a player. Everyone has different reasons why they
do things. Discover theirs. Is it a wall? Is it because they are afraid of
getting hurt? Whatever it is, discover first. Then, appeal to that. If they fear
commitment (see: commitment phobe.) If they fear abandonment, show any
minute now, you could walk away.
Never state your intentions.
Give them unconscious mixed signals. Have flirty eyes, give them an
ambiguous compliment.
Slightly bruise their ego. Slightly, not excessively. You want them to get to
a point where they feel they are capable of conquering you. Then you pull
back. I mentioned you need to understand why they are a player, because
whatever wall is up, you must bruise their ego according to their reasons for
being a player.
 
For example:
Youngin needed verbal validation. When he asked me questions seeking
verbal validation, I'll be fickle. I'll say something along the lines of, or
imply that I don't care. When " he blamed me for getting him sick " I said "
sorry. Kind of. " Then, I would snicker. He proceeds to overcompensate. As
a result of this example, observe their actions. Not words.
Repeat and rinse. Once you see they are starting to lose hope and ready to
give up, at that moment, give them that hope that they can potentially win
you over.
 
Archetypes that match the player:
It is usually the innocent ones. Because they think it'll be easy to conquer
innocent ones.
Proceed to throw them off, by playing the sassy ones. Because the sassy
ones are usually independent and are the ones who bruise his or her ego.
They'll keep coming back for more.
The sexual ones:
 Because it stimulates their imagination. You don't need to have sex with
them. Just stimulate their imagination ambiguously. Give them the hope
that sex may be in the future cards.
Note: you must be classy about this.
A combination of all is necessary. And, the perfect timing. During a certain
time you will have to play the innocent. During a certain time you will have
to play the sassy.
 
Things to avoid:
Don't be overly sexual.
Be innocent, and spirituality. Stay classy. A sexy look in your eye. Not your
tits popping out. Or, your muscles popping out.
If you're a male, don't be a god damn creep.
 
Do not VERBALLY state what your intentions are, or what you think of
them.
Remember!
You're the coach. You run this game.
 
 
 
target type: the knight in shining armour
 
There are two types of rescuers:
1) The circumstance rescuer:
The one who wants to, and will, rescue you from bad situations.
These ones can't resist rescuing you from atrocious circumstances
and/situations. All you have to do is place yourself in a troubling situation,
call them in the middle of the night and beg for help. They'll be accessible.
If they can't, they'll attempt to rescue you, every other time.
 
What not to do:
Be safe. Have any kind of routine. You can, but occasionally you'll need to
" be saved. "
 
Example:
I had a friend we'll call Joe, who was the situation rescuer. He was obsessed
with the stereotypical damsel in distress who we will call Jane. Jane was a
typical damsel in distress. She had a long term drug addiction to heroin, and
called up Joe every time she had a break down. Which was every
millisecond. Joe was her personal chauffeur when she got hammered, and
stoned. The catch? When he received the call, he would come to the rescue.
This meant if we were three hours from my house, we would drop me off
and leave me stranded. There was one time when we decided to go on a
road trip out of town. It was one of those things we loved to do when we
first met. Months later we developed a routine of him picking me up in the
middle of the night, going through a Wendy's drive through, parking in the
middle of nowhere and just talking. I grew tired of this hangout routine, and
suggested we go out of town, like the older days. I was excited. Joe,
however, did not seem effected. He seemed like he was just there because
he felt sorry for me. As soon as we reached our destination, she called. I
had hoped he would resist the temptation of rescuing her, this time. He
didn't. Instead, he'd abandoned me, in the middle of nowhere, three hours
away from home. I wasn't surprised by this at all. How did I get home you
ask? I called up every other rescuer I knew, until someone finally came.
After all, it was 6 P.M on a Tuesday night.
 
2) The moral hero:
The second type of rescuer, is the one who wants to rescue you from your
dark side. And, thinks they can change you. They're essentially trying to
rescue you from yourself, and reform you into a " good, moral person. "
These types of rescuers want to change you, because " they care. "
 
What to do:
All you have to do is show a dark side. A sweet and innocent as well. Do
bad, naughty, immoral things. Have a nasty habit. It can be physical or
psychological habits. Whether it be drugs, you're manipulative, or
continuously cheats everything. You have your pick. Allow your target to
see small doses of your bad habit. They'll grow curious, and may want to
see more of your habit. Watch as they'll try to " rescue you " from yourself.
Common things you'll hear will be " just give me a call when you feel like
doing (insert bad habit here). "
" We can hang out when you have urges to do (insert habit here.) "
They may begin to sound like a parent as well.
 
What not to do: Be a goody two shoes.
Be perfect, hide the cracks within your personality.
Possible psychological causes of the two types of rescuers:
-they believe they'll feel worthy if they can change you.
-they want these changes within people, because in their ideal world people
are the way they want to be. Think... Hitler. He had an ideal vision of the
world, and tried to mold and shape the world to his vision.
-they feel they lack some kind of justice in their lives. So if they change
you,they just get that justice.
-approval from people
-they believe in karma.
-They have a severe guilt complex
-They feel superior for being the savior.
-They believe people are inadequate, but may be projecting.
 
For example:
When I meet the moral type of rescuers, I take advantage of something
within their psychology.
 It is the fact that they want to change me.
It’s like with the player type. Women want to be that one woman who
changes that man. Who molds him in a way that doesn’t make him a player
anymore. Rather, the committed man.
However, women don’t just do it. Everyone does it. Including men. And, I
take advantage of the fact that people want to change me. As a matter of
fact, I don’t run away from it. I invite it. I open the door for these men who
desperately want to change me.
They see a young beautiful girl. And, have these preconceived notions that
she is all sweet and innocent. Although, sexual, all at once.
That’s what they see with me. They start assuming things in their minds, I
go with it. Then, there is that part of obsession, where you need to throw
them off. You need to keep them on their toes.
Hence, I hint at a dark side. I suggest a more secretive corrupt side to me.
This danger. And it lures them in.
Then they somehow get the news that I am not so good after all. I am
naughty. And I do not show any shame. Mainly because I’m not ashamed of
how bad, or naughty I am. As a matter of fact, I indulge in it.
How they find out:
Through a friend, through someone “accidentally” exposing me. Or, I leave
very obvious hints.
Once, I left my phone unlocked, with dirty, twisted messages.
This is the part where they become emotional. That’s when my sweet
innocence comes back. It is false hope. You make it seem like you are
innocent again. Once again, they have hope that you are still a good citizen
of the world. And they feel relieved. Wrong. After you see they are getting
used to it, you become that little devil again.
Whatever little devil may mean to you, or them. For me, it is drug use. Not
getting my life on track (according to them. My life is great.) Sometimes, I
deliberately play the hopeless damsel in distress.
But the moral (not so much. Since I don't have any) of this story, Is that you
can use your dark side as bait.
Get them to want to shape and mold you. Talk about change to increase
their sense of hope. Then crash it by going back to your ways of being
“such a bad person”
Remember you can’t be too obvious. Don’t get into trouble every night. 
Once in a while. Because if they are used to you getting into trouble all the
time, you wouldn’t be applying the essence of hope and tribulation.
 
What is missing in their lives:
-Focus on their own lives. Rescuers are too busy saving people from
themselves, as a distraction from the need to rescue yourself.
-Justice.
 
Their motivations:
To be the rescuer, the knight I'm shining amour.
 
Deepest darkest desires/Potential suppressed parts of themselves:
To be applauded, and admired for their heroism.
 
 
 
target type: the commitment phobe
 
Description:
The commitment phobe is someone who fears commitment. They may pull
away when things get serious, remain single, or become a player.
 
What is missing in their lives:
They want love, but don't want the dangers and pain that come with it.
 
Their motivations:
To be free. To not be obligated to anything because commitment is "
imprisonment. "
Avoid pain.
 
Deepest darkest desires/suppressed sides:
To be in a committed relationship.
If not, a committed relationship, they desire someone they can open up to,
without restricting themselves.
 
Idealized self:
They want to be fearless. Not to fear relationships, or any type of
commitment. This can be a commitment to lose weight, get a better career,
quit their job, be a better person.
 
Possible psychological causes:
It's the environment they grew up in. Basically, the commitment phobe feels
if they commit they'll lose their freedom. What if they have other options?
What if they couldn't do the things they used to? They'll feel trapped.
Second one, is having to be responsible. Having to make a final decision.
What if they chose the wrong decision, and they’re stuck with it for the rest
of their lives?
What if this decision ruins their lives, ruins their reputation?(See: analysis
paralysis)
In this case if someone is a commitment phobe in relationships it is also
about control. They feel like they'll lose control because they'll become
vulnerable and weak. They want to be able to control the other person,
because of how their environment was, growing up.
Lastly, the most obvious one, they've been hurt before. Or, has witnessed
someone close to them (mother, father) get hurt in the past. Or, it could be
the other way around. They could've witnessed someone close to them
doing the hurting.
 
How you'll be able to tell:
-They can and/or will shut down emotionally.
-Most times it won't seem like they are concerned about you or anyone else.
-You suspect they have other options. Sometimes, commitment phobes will
have other options just in case another one walks away.
-They may pull away when things get serious.
 
How to scare them off:
Suffocate them by telling them exactly what you want from them. A
commitment. Well if that's what you want.
Discuss the future. Specifically your future. Together. Converse about
responsibility. Make it feel like you're trying to control them.
Try to analyze them and tell them what conclusions you've come to.
How to keep them fall in love with you:
Never reveal your intentions. This'll make the commitment phobe wonder
increasingly, about you. Especially what you may want with and from them.
Give them their space.
Be in the present moment. No discussions about the future.
Don't put a label on your relationship. Do not especially call him or her
your friend. Because this'll automatically satisfy their unconscious need to
be certain (about your intentions)
If they do ask about where the two of you stand, say something like " oh I
don't know. " Or, " I wouldn't put a label on it. " Or, both.
Make them the pursuer. Give them something to chase after. (You.) Why?
Because if you're dealing with a commitment phobe who likes the control
or grew up believing (consciously, or unconsciously) that they need to
control, the more they try to chase you the more they'll want to control you.
(See: control freak.)
 
Example:
My two friends were dating. Avery and Brenda. Every time Avery and
Brenda became more emotionally intimate, he would pull back. He had a
nonchalant attitude about this, but it was always when the commitment was
strengthening.
 
As soon as Brenda discovered he was a commitment phobe, she gave him
his space. She avoided any conversations about the future, or where they
stood. Soon enough, his resistance fell, and Avery gave Brenda the
commitment she desired.
 
 
when two of the same kind get together
 
You've seen two of the same target types clash. There isn't any chemistry.
At first, it appears to be a match made in heaven. Ultimately, it fails because
the two of you, won't complete each other.
We all fall into different target categories. What makes us fall into those
target categories is what we lack in our lives. What makes us insecure.
We fall in love with people that complete these things.
When two people of the same victim types have the same insecurities, and
the same lacks, it is like two identical board game pieces. They don’t
belong together. Because they're both searching for the same thing. They
can't get it from each other, because neither of them, have it. Mostly, they
won't complete each other.
 
Here is an anecdote:
 
I fit the player category. The typical player goes out and has several people
on the side. For whatever reason. Its primarily to boost our ego. We couldn't
care less about the other person. Players are the best at getting people
obsessed with them, whether they realize it or not. Us players love
dominating people. Most players do like to dominate physically. Ilike to
dominate psychologically.
Youngin gave off the impression he was square and innocent. He even
admitted he liked to PLAY innocent. I already figured that he may or may
not know what he was doing. However, I wanted to psychologically
conquer him and possibly corrupt him up as much as I could. On his end, he
wanted me to obsess over him. I could tell because he always wanted my
validation. And, he said (in his own words) " could you be my female
stalker? " (Jokes, and their sense of humor show their personality.)
Basically, we were competing, to see who was the best player. Trying to
validate each other. I always felt so angry around him. I felt like maybe he
was doing a superior job at being a player then I was. Since he was
frequently on my mind. It angered me off so much I decided to cut him off.
He was expecting me to have the desire to be closer to him after our three
dates. Nope. I dropped him. Told him " I knew how he was (which was
quite impulsive and a big accident.) I didn't think he would become furious.
Turns out, he did. He flooded my cell with messages filled with confusion,
anger, questions, and sadness. I didn't reply. (see: how you cut them off.)
 
The following day: I get an email from him. It was a lengthy email. I was
quite surprised. His ego was hurting so badly it was comical. He told me he
was " pissed " and " not satisfied with my reason. " He mentioned he had
deleted my phone number. And, that he deserved a " real reason. " (Sense of
entitlement. Meaning he has a huge ego.) Then he went on to state some
assumptions he had about why he thought I may have had gotten rid of him.
" Is it because you think I'm going to get too attached to you, or
something..? " OR. " Do you think it'll only be about the sex? "
I laughed as I deleted the email. Why? Because it had an effect on him. Not
because of the words he stated in the email(s). It was because of his actions.
He had deleted my phone number. But, he still found a way to contact me.
He put in the effort to send that long email. He lost. I won.
See, it was a competition. Neither one is fulfilled.
Moral of the story:
Our egos were meshing and could no longer " fit each other's puzzle pieces.
" Because we could never fit in the first place.
Its the same with every other target types comes together. Beware of that.
Once you find they are the same target type, get out as soon as you can. Or,
if you want to leave a scar, just abandon them. (See: how you cut them off.)
 
 
 
the types of people you can’t seduce
 
Paranoid people:
They can fall for your trap, but ultimately they may be too paranoid to stay.
Even more so, if they understand what you are trying to do. (see: paranoia,
in the after effects section.)
 
People who are happy and satisfied with their lives:
We all rely on our target's insecurities to get them to obsess over you.
Confident people are aware of their insecurities and will depend on
themselves to fix it/transform it into a strength. They're also INTERNALLY
dependent. The types you can control, are the ones who are insecure and
EXTERNALLY dependent. The difference between the confident person
with insecurities and the insecure person with insecurities, and is the
insecure person is most likely heavily in denial, and will find everything to
deny their insecurities. Confident people work on it, even work with it and
accept it, rather than denying it.
People who bore you:
CP had no depth to him. He was boring as hell to talk to. Eventually I
blocked him. What I found boring about him was that he had no depth. I am
a deep thinker. Seemed to me like he was just a vegetable. Just lifeless.
With nothing to discuss, but lame songs and pointless media pictures. He
had no imagination and couldn't appreciate my intelligence. Boring people
whatever your definition of boring is, avoid them like the fucking plague.
You must be with someone who excites you. This wouldn't work on
someone you don't share anything in common with. You could fake a
connection. However, eventually, you get bored. Tired and resentful
towards your target. How much more of a connection are you going to have
to fake? Unless you have a certain goal and are patient enough. This is an
exception.
The love addict:
There are many types of " love " addicts. There are ones who constantly
need to be in a different relationship with different people all the time. This
may be good for the short term. But, never for the long term.
Lastly this wouldn't work on people who are so insecure that they'll never
be completely satisfied. You'd be fun for a little while, then they'd become
unsatisfied. Because, ultimately, they're too unsatisfied with themselves.
 
 
 
 
 
 
Chapter 3
starting the process
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Congrats! You've done your homework on your target. What to do now?
You can have all the knowledge in your mind, however, application is key.
Let's see some action. That's all that matters, in seduction.
Some of these things may seem like a contradiction. Moreover, they apply
to different people and different situations.
This chapter talks about the things you need to do according to your target.
I discuss when to apply these techniques, and when not to. Who it would
work best on, and who this would work on. Most importantly, HOW to do
it.
 
 
 
pain and pleasure
 
Pain enhances our pleasure. Pain and pleasure are mixed signals. This is
why we as humans have a high tendency to fall for someone who gets our
hopes up, then immediately crushes them.
However, once you believe that it’s over, suddenly, the hope crusher, has
done something to win your heart over, yet again. This becomes an endless
vicious cycle of obsession.
The core of having anyone obsess over you, is hope and grief. Hope being
they have high expectations that something may occur, and grief, being the
hopes are crushed. Then repeating the cycle.
 
What is hope?
 
A feeling or thought that something will happen, or turn out as expected.
You know what ruins people's dreams? Hope. As a human, we put our
hopes into everything. Especially in obsession. One of the reasons people
don't get over obsession is because of hope. They hope the person will
come back to them. They hope the person will change their minds. They
hope they can change the other person. It's all about hope.
If someone gets our hopes up, by flirting or showing interest than we have
them hooked. However, the key is, you have to also be mysterious. You
can't completely show you are interested. In the beginning.
Perhaps there may be a possibility that you are attracted. And, they witness
some signs. Once they feel hope, this means they believe anything is
possible with you. When you've instilled hope into your target, they believe
they have conquered you. They've gotten you to like them. They believe
they're in control. Whether they want to think it or not.
 
Once you give them hope, they've created expectations. After hope, comes
sorrow.
 
How to instill hope:
Indirectly show them interest but never be verbal about it. You can do this
by giving them a certain look. It can be a sensual look. Or, eyes filled with
passion. Pay more special attention to them. Not excessive attention,
though. Have open body language. Ask them questions about themselves.
You're showing them indirect signs of interest, therefore instilling hope into
them. With a hint of curiosity, and confusion.
 
What you don't do:
Verbally tell them your intentions/what you think of them. Although, you
can give them an ambiguous compliment.
The whole point is that you need to make them uncertain. (Think back to
the days where you grabbed a flower, and said " he/she loves, they love me
not. " )
Not verbally telling them is what makes the unconscious mind wonder
about you. Because it needs to fill in empty gaps. Either by imagining or
obsessing about you. Either way you're on their mind, which is good. Once
you have an effect on them mentally, they'll be under you're influence.
Don't do too much of anything. Just be very subtle.
Once you'veinstilled hope into your target, and they begin to become
complacent, this is when you change it up and crush their hopes. With grief.
Hope and tribulation is the essence of long lasting obsession.
 
 
the essence of grief
 
If you deprive them of what they want, they will fall to your feet, but you
have to tease them just enough that they always have hope. The hope of
finally obtaining what they wanted. Dangle a bottle of water to someone in
the desert. But don't let them drink. Spare them a few sip every now and
then and watch them come back for more.
After instilling hope, expectations, and certainty, you must pull back, and
instill agony in your target.
Pulling back will crush their hopes, confuse their expectations, and remove
the certainty, to make them uncertain.
Imagine the times when you or a friend complained about " mixed signals. "
Ring a bell? 
You withdraw their pleasure from them. Which was possessing you. Once
you pull back, it is like a drug addict. They try harder to get back their
pleasure. (Possess, and conquer you.) Pulling back gives you value. If you
had an unlimited supply of orange juice, it would have no value. However,
if you only have one day’s worth of juice, it will have lots of value.
Our minds are driven by certainty. We need certainty and control of
everything. Uncertainty frightens us. Once we become uncertain, be
become obsessed. We obsess over trying to find certainty. You can take
advantage of this, by making them feel uncertain, and pulling back.
This also works on their vanity. Once you pull back, they will believe they
were at fault, and will do everything in their right mind to compensate, and
make sure their egos feel at ease again.
 
Pattern interrupt:
Giving them the hope, then withdrawing is called pattern interrupt. Pattern
interrupt is when someone becomes accustomed to something, then
something breaks the pattern. You can use pattern interrupt to get someone
to fall in love with you. Breaking the pattern causes their mind to instantly
wonder.
Here is an example:
Let's say you're on a wonderful date. The two of you are chatting away,
suddenly, you go quiet. Your date was accustomed to the two of you
chatting away, and his or her subconscious mind started wondering why
you got quiet. You might notice how uncomfortable they've become. And,
asking if “everything is alright?” This is pattern interrupt at it's finest.
The two of you will inevitably establish a routine. You'll have to use pattern
interrupt to keep them on their toes. This is one way of pulling back. And
the most potent form.
Whatever your target is used to (particularly in your meetings, and your
behavior) pull back, or interrupt that pattern. One day if someone is used to
getting hugs from you, don't give them a hug. Or give them a pat on the
back. Some variation. The whole point is interrupting the pattern.
 
Awkward silences:
When there is silence, this can show your coldness. You can simply be cold
by being silent. Silence makes people insecure. Which is where the term
awkward silence comes from.
People want to fill in the silence, because our brains are constantly
stimulated. We now live in a society where we need to be doing something.
These are learned behaviors. Going against this appears as “cold, and
distant.”
 
What does being cold achieve?
It will demonstrate you are self reliant, and internally dependent. Even a
little narcissistic.
Being cold triggers our the part of our subconscious mind that is obsessed
with finishing business. If any piece of information is filled, the
subconscious mind becomes satisfied, and will move onto another mystery
to solve.
If you love yourself so much people are drawn to it. Because we are all
narcissistic. Inherently, we all thirst to be narcissistic again. However, now
we can’t because society has suppressed narcissism, because we “must”
consider other people.
Unconsciously, we want to be the person that conquers and possesses you
a.k.a the narcissist. And be able to possess you and overpower you just like
you’ve done to us. We want to be able to make you love us more then you
love yourself. And have you put us first over yourself. This is the power
cold people have over us. We want to shake them and scream “hey please
just... notice me.”
 
Other ways to be cold:
-Act like you don’t notice them.
-Be distant.
-Seem a little bored or unpleased.
-Be vague. Don’t explain yourself.
-Disappear when things get too familiar. Disappear when they are
comfortable.
-Be mentally absent.
-Say one word answers.
-Have ambiguous answers.
 
 
When to be cold:
-When you can notice they’re starting to get relaxed.
-When they’re complacent. When they believe unconsciously or
consciously they have fully conquered you.
 
 
timing
 
Life is one constant fluctuation. It is never static. But, a series of events,
circumstances, and people that make it fluctuate.
During these constant fluctuations, our minds will prioritize certain needs
and desires. So you must be able to keep up with your target’s needs. By
observing your target, and patience.
If you fail to appeal to their needs at the right time, your plans may go
downhill. They may lose interest and/or find someone else/thing to fulfill
that need for them.
 
Example:
If your target had someone close to them die, they may have the need for
certainty. So rather than pulling away and being cold. Be there for them.
After a few days, if you pull away, and come back, their obsession for you
may be much stronger than ever. Obviously this is an extreme case. I don't
recommend pulling away, but in similar circumstances (that are less
extreme) they may have the need for certainty.
 
During the winter, someone may crave more TLC than usual. Provide that
for them. Many people will expect to receive love in different ways,
whether it be verbally, or physically. See which one they fancy.
 
2) During the process of obsession, patience is required, as well. You can't
rush things because it doesn't create anticipation or mystery. It doesn't work
on someone's mind mentally. You must make them anticipate, make them
sweat a little. Pump some adrenaline and uncertainty, and excitement.
Obsession takes time, and the more time you give someone, the harder they
fall.
 
 
 
get their attention
 
ATTENTION: you'll have to devise a way to get their attention. If you
haven't already. Whether it be what you wear, stirring up their curiosity.
Here are some relevant, ways some marketing experts do it. That you can
apply into making people fall for you. Although, there are millions.
 
The Reticular Activating System (RAS) handles what we pay attention to. It
is like a filter that sorts out data that is worth paying attention to, and what
isn't.
Our brain picks patterns that are mundane. Then quickly disregards it. So be
different! You'll effortlessly grab everyone's attention.
 
Here are some examples:
Be superior, in comparison.
Our brains are always comparing, no matter what. Something that is much
superior in comparison to something previous to it, or side by side, will
catch our attention. You'll be exotic. Meaning unusual, but in such an
appealing way.
 
What does this have to do with getting people to fall for me?
Just be better (in comparison to people.) People try to do this all the time.
So, if you can plan your efforts will come into place much faster.
 
Some examples:
-Have a friend that isn't as good looking as you. Basically, be the better
looking friend. Whatever that means to you and/or your target, be more fit,
taller, shorter, etc.
-You're at an event, and you know what everyone else will be wearing.
Black. Wear white. Wear gray. If you're a female, and all the girls will be
wearing black tight dresses, wear a white dress, that flows like the wind. If
you're a male, and all the other males are going to be wearing a black three
piece suit, go in a polo. Just make sure, it's distinctive and you look good.
-You can also apply this to your personality. If you know people are
expected to be uptight at some socialfunction, then be friendly. (still
uptight, so you fit in, just a little.)
-One I always get is, people expect me to be a snobby bitch, because of the
way I look. However, I'm not. Unlike, other stunning women, I'm much
better. And a keeper. It captures people's attention. (see: how receptive are
you?)
-If you are going somewhere you know there will be a certain race of
people, be the only one who isn't that race. If I'm Asian and I go to a party
in Barbados, then I'm bound to be exotic. Which is a good thing.
-Do the opposite of what everyone else is doing.
-If you're a female, most males are expecting you to seek a relationship.
Don't talk of any kind of relations.
-Also, red is an attention grabber. Wear red lipstick, red shirt.
 
 
Make them feel.
What memories stick out the most? Its most likely you remember the things
that inspired the most emotions. Emotions are the essence of our memories.
Everything else such as the images, conversations are secondary.
 
What does this have to do with getting people to fall for me?
People are most likely to fall for people that trigger and create emotions
within their psyche. Emotions drive us, not logic.
 
Some examples:
-Shocking people. By doing the complete opposite.
-Do something controversial. Have an unpopular opinion. Do, wear
something against society's standards.
-Make them laugh. Discover what leaves them bursting out in laugher.
(See: what's so funny? In psychoanalysis book.)
-Confuse people. Be unpredictable.
-Make them sad.
-Make them happy.
-Make them feel guilty. Although I do advise against this. (because people
will associate you with guilt.)
-Make them feel alive.
-Scare them.
 
So many options! Think about this, what are some ways things, people, and
advertisements have caught your eye?
 
 
creating rapport
 
Trust is the first step to penetrating through their psychological resistance to
you. No one will do anything for you, or believe you if they don't trust you.
Trust is the foundation of any relationship. Trust is what births a
relationship. Before any step on this list you're required to break down their
walls, and get them to trust you.
 
How to apply:
Do NOT flirt with them. Seem friendly yet distant. People will
automatically believe that you don't have any kind sort of romantic/sexual
or suspicious intentions. People who are superior in status, beauty, and
wealth, are much more apprehensive of people’s intentions. Hence, why
you must do your homework on the person.
By the same token, you can ignore them, or pay attention to someone
they're close to. Of course this'll only work on people who are used to
getting attention. For these types of people, You can bruise their ego a bit,
by ignoring them.
With people who aren't used to the attention, pay them more friendly
attention, compared to the person that is used to attention.
 
You can't seem too cold, or else they'll already assume your intentions.
Which is, that you don't care for them. So you'll need to show some interest
as well. But, the friendly kind of attention, in the beginning.
 
Body language:
Mimic their body language. For example, if someone is leaning in, lean in
also. If their arms are crossed, cross your arms as well. The reason for this
is because of neurons called mirror neurons. Mirror neurons mirror
someone we feel we are close to. It is also responsible for our empathy.
Have you ever observed that when you're out with a close friend, the two of
you, drink your drinks at the same time. Or, you guys are both leaning in.
Sometimes the two of you pick it up, but never thought there was any
meaning to it. My best friend and I are like this. That's why this is
happening, because our mirror neurons are mirroring each other. Mainly,
each other's body language.
 
There is also another technique that works wonders.
You go into a room already expecting to have rapport. Particularly, when
meeting new people. This is because when we are meeting new people,
we're expecting to feel awkward. We care too much about what they'll
think. But, with our dearest friends, we don't care. We already have set
expectations that our meetings with our friends that things will go well, that
we're going to have fun. That they'll love your conversations. Thus, in the
beginning creating rapport this way works wonders.
Just walk in, thinking " they'll love me. " " We'll have an amazing time. "
Talk like you, and everyone in the room, already know each other. But,
have your limits. Don't get too personal. You must keep the mystery alive.
 
How to NOT mimic body language:
Don't accurately mimic their body language. Give it a couple seconds until
you do mimic their actions. They may pick up on it, and will feel as if you
are being an idiot, or manipulative. If they are aware of what is going on.
 
Example:
If someone picks up their drink, pick up your drink, A few seconds after.
Then you can change it up a bit, and pick up your fork or something
relevant, if they pick up their drink again.
 
Listening skills:
When you’re a great listener, people will love you. Ask the person open
ended questions, so they'll feel you're thoroughly interested. Interestingly,
everyone's favorite subject is themselves. (see: are you listening? In starting
the process section.)
 
Timing on body language:
You'll have to mimic their body language. But wait about ten seconds. Do
something close to what they're doing. If they're crossing their arms, cross
your legs. If they lean in. Lean in ten seconds later. If they pick up their
glass, pick up their fork. Even if there isn't rapport in the beginning, you
want to do this to build the rapport.
 
Other additional ways to build rapport and trust:
-if you're an authority figure.
-if you're confident in what you're saying. Or at least, it seems so.
-if everyone else is saying you're trustworthy. Refer to the chapter about
social proof.
-if everyone else likes you. Again, social proof.
 
While you build a substantial amount of rapport, you'll want to have
attractive body language.
 
Attractive body language:
-Leaning in, head tilted shows you're listening.,
-feet pointed towards them, where your feet are pointed means you want to
move towards them,
-OPEN body language.
-Eye brow partially raised, mouth slightly parted shows you're attracted.
 
Unattractive body language:
-Closed body language
-Hunched back.
-Head down.
-Arms and legs crossed.
 
To summarize:
Building trust is an important step to having someone fall in love with you.
Remember timing, and how to properly mimic someone's body language.
And you'll be on your way to building trust and rapport.
 
 
be a mystery
 
Definition of mysterious:
Not easy to comprehend, explain, or identify.
You've heard this heaps of times. " Being mysterious works. " But, why?
Because our minds are always focused on finishing business. Our minds
need certainty. Being mysterious gives people room to imagine things about
you. We become confused when people are mysterious. When people are
mysterious, our minds try to fill in the gaps by imagining things about the
mystery. Basically, you've given them a puzzle to solve. Yet they don't
know it. People grow overly attached to things they don't know about.
 
When not to/ What not to do:
If you're too mysterious, you'll seem snobby and uninterested in everyone.
You'll still have to show a genuine interest in people.
 
Behaviors/actions that'll make you mysterious:
 
Be vague. Talk less:
By saying less than required, you leave room for different types of
interpretation, making it ambiguous. Consequently triggering their
imagination, and curiosity.
 
For example:
When someone asks you: " What do you do? " what they truly expect from
you is not just your position, but full details. This is what we're expected of
people.
 
An expected answer would be: " I'm a banker, I work for JP Morgan " or " I
work for the marketing department for Saks fifth avenue " . If you vaguely
reply " business person " without providing additional details, you spark
curiosity. However, the otherperson won't ask because they don't want to
seem curious or too intrusive. As a result, they may also fear what your
reaction may be, if they do inquire.
 
Strategic absence:
If you are always present, you become too familiar, thus becoming less
scarce. Absence does make the heart grow fonder.
 
How to apply this:
 
First, be present and get people to like you. Also associate yourself with
wonderful things. Once they start enjoying your company, practice strategic
absence.
Sometimes, you won't even have to explain why you aren't around.
 
Be unpredictable:
 
Being unpredictable is about creating patterns people will get used to, and
breaking the patterns. (once in a while, or people will think you're unstable,
and potentially a nutcase.)
For example: people think you're sweet and innocent, do something that is
not so innocent.
People think you're a nerd, do something foolish and dumb.
You have a routine from 8-5. Go shopping at that time. Go sleep, something
out of the routine.
The entire point is, do something “out of character for you.”
(Also see: play against your stereotype, imply a dark side.)
 
Keep your intentions in the dark:
If people don't know your intentions, they'll keep trying to ascertain.
Everyone wants to know where they stand in a relationship. Are you guys
friends? Friends with benefits? Exclusive? If you don't reveal your
intentions, people will obsess over you.
 
Let others brag for you.
Everyone is quick to brag about their lives.
A showoff isn't mysterious. They're innately revealing every small detail
about their lives. You want to be a mysterious person? Let others do the
boasting for you.
 
 
Imply a dark side
 
" I'm interested in people's darker side, the ones that aren't easy and well
balanced. The cracks. "
-Noomi Rapace
 
The reality is, most of us have and will use our willpower. We censor
negative emotions like temper, envy, and our “inappropriate” desires. We
don't let ourselves act on our most dangerous urges. Even though it can be a
good thing, we're drawn to people who are this way. Most of us long to lose
our inhibitions.
 
A person with low inhibitions is, one or all the above:
 
- has no verbal filters.
- doesn't hesitate to take risks.
- rebellious
- pushes the limits.
- gives into dangerous desires and temptations. Does not care about the
consequences. They have the " Live for the moment " mentality. (See be in
the present moment.)
- fearless
- spontaneous.
 
A dark and thrilling person makes obsession much more potent than the
person who is perfect.
 
Be the forbidden:
Everyone is curious about the forbidden. Most people are not verbal about
it. Including the straight edge, and uptight people. Make your target feel
that they are participating in something extraordinary and blood tingling.
This is a chance to explore their shadow selves and sinister desires.
Remember everyone feels like they have to play this role in society. They
have to be the friendly person. Parts of ourselves, long to explore our dark
side, without being well mannered. When you explore your dark side, you
can be wild, freely express what you want to, and have absolutely no filter
whatsoever.
 
When to be dark:
When you want to give your target uncertainty and inspire a sense of
darkness.
When you want to be unpredictable.
When you want to be more desirable. (Being forbidden.) That’s why Adam
and Eve could not resist the apple. It was forbidden.
 
When not to be dark:
When you have to be appropriate, and formal. For example, you don't want
to be dark at a funeral. It is dark enough, as it is.
 
Who this works on:
-Everyone. It's mostly potent on women. Because they more pressures to be
" a good woman. " (Whatever that means.)
-The nerd, and the innocent. Nerds, and the innocent, want to explore the
dark side, outside of their minds. 
-The rescuer. The rescuer will want to change you, and rescue you, from
your dark side.
-The control freak. Once the control freak sees your dark side, they'll want
to manage you more.
 
Who this doesn't work on:
-The person with the tainted heart. It'll still work with this person, but don't
be too dark. They're tainted enough, they don't need to be more tainted.
(see: the tough one, in the target psychology section.)
 
Note:
Don't be too dark. It'll scare people off. You'll produce the impression,
you're the " criminal killer " dangerous kind of person. Not the fun, playful
daring, exciting, dangerous.
 
The core of your dark personality is your lifestyle and behaviors. Not, your
looks. So there's no need to go and dye your hair black, purchase grungey
clothing, and go gothic on us.
 
 
social proof and becoming obsessed
 
You examine the favorite person among your group, school or work. There
isn't anything particularly special about them, but everyone seems to adore
this person. Why? The answer lies within social proof.
 
Social proof.
Social proof is when people see that other people like you, and it
automatically makes you attractive (think, the halo effect, as well). If
everyone else loves it, then you should too? It adds much more value to
you.
Marketing uses social proof all the time. Through celebrities, being an "
expert " , the name of a brand like Gucci. That's also why there's a " like "
button. It's shows it's liked by other people.
 
'The crowds' social proof:
This type of social proof is approval from large groups of other people. It's
showing evidence that people, strangers give you their stamp of approval.
Usually by these stranger's positive reactions to you. A common example,
the opposite gender checking you out.
 
What to do:
To obtain this social proof, you must stand out. Find some way to grab
people's attention. In a good way. Especially from the opposite gender. This
adds much more scarcity to you. Your target will perceive your value to be
much higher. (See: getting their attention, in starting process section.)
 
'Friends' social proof:
Get your targets friends to like you, and have many friends yourself who
say lovely things about you. Don't brag about yourself, get his or her friends
to brag for you.
Or, having a large amount of friends increases your social proof. It shows
people want to be around you.
People like things that " resemble " them in some way. Your target's friends
resemble them in some way. This is why you should get their friends to like
you.
Example:
This guy I dated we'll call him shot gun. Shot gun wanted me to meet all his
friends. When I did all of his friends thought I was stunning, and had my
personality to match it. This made me 100% more attractive in his eyes. He
also wanted to introduce me to his friends, and family, because he wanted
approval from them, sort of like eye candy.
 
Pick up artists, will always have an attractive girl by their side. Or, try to.
This makes them attractive, even if they aren't. People unconsciously think
" how did he get that hot female? There must be something special about
him. "
 
 
the equal, superior, and inferior
When I had received news my boyfriend died in a car accident, my life hit
rock bottom. Five months later my best friend (the only person who knew
about him.) Had committed suicide. Everyone had urged me to vent to them
about how I had been feeling. The problem was they weren't friends. They
were higher ups. They were my " superiors. " I didn't feel comfortable
sharing this deep painful side of myself to a superior. I just wanted a friend.
I had none left. Everyone was playing the power game. No one was my
equal. They were either superior or inferior to me. I just wanted an equal.
 
Who do you feel more comfortable sharing your deepest self with?
Someone who is superior to you, or your equal? You or anyone may not
feel AS comfortable sharing an intimate version of yourself with a superior.
Especially if it makes you feel inferior.
Be your target’s equal. Or, at least act like their equal, their friend. People
are more likely to feel comfortable around you, if they feel like you're an
equal. If you act superior, they'll feel threatenedand intimidated. If you're
inferior they've already conquered you. So be their equal. If you're they're
equal, they'll never suspect you of any malicious or manipulative intentions.
 
Who this works on:
Power hungry people.
 
Rich person
People kiss their asses. People trying way too hard to impress them. An
equal impresses them. An equal is rare to them.
 
Person who is insecure. Depending on what their insecurity is. People who
are insecure may feel threatened if you play superior (although sometimes,
it would aid.) So there is only one way to soothe their ego, which is be their
equal.
 
Who this doesn't work on:
The innocent. They want someone who is superior to them.
 
When to be their equal:
-When you are trying to establish trust, and knowledge about your target.
-In the beginning, when you want to make it seem like you're " the friend. "
Thus, they don't become suspicious of you.
-When you want to be sympathetic.
 
When to be superior:
-When you want to be cold.
-When you want to establish authority. (sometimes, further into the
relationship with the rich person, indirectly playing the superior, will work.)
-When your target is the innocent. (See innocent target psychology.)
-Submissive target
-If your target is a follower, not a leader.
-If you want to make them feel inferior.
 
When to be inferior:
-When you want to make your target feel superior.
-Target is power hungry.
-Want to get insider information.
 
 
single minded attention
 
Christian Grey. He's a stalker. He's a creep. And, has more advanced ways
of stalking and creeping out Anastasia Steele, due to his wealth. (His
version of impressing her.) Yet, women find this attractive. That's because
this trait he has taps into a collective unconscious desire: the need for single
minded attention. Christian Grey is a prime example of someone who
provides single minded attention. Although, its not just him. There's Ryan
Gosling from stupid crazy love. There's tons of articles about his techniques
he's used in the movie to get laid. Again, he gives Emma Stone the single
minded attention she deeply craves. It's not just women. It's men who crave
this attention as well.
 
Explanation:
This stems from our childhood. We want all the attention to ourselves,
which is a very human thing. We all still have this desire. Dormant or not.
However, most of us, have either suppressed it or fantasize about having all
of the attention to ourselves. People that can provide this need, we fall in
love with. Provided, they fit other things in our ideal lover criteria.
Concurrently, we live in a society that is all about " me me me. "
 
How to take advantage of this:
Make your target feel as if they're the only ones in your eyes. The cold hard
truth is most people don't want to hear about that hot girl or guy, or your ex.
Or, your recent hookup. Or, about the fun times you had with friends. There
are very few people that genuinely care about your well being, and want to
hear about your life. Usually, a substantial amount of people make it seem
like they care because it benefits them. And, if it doesn't benefit them
physically (they gain reward, money, sex, a meal. these things are physical.)
It will benefit them psychologically. Either it'll make them look like such a
great person, or it'll make them unique. Because not many people will listen
or pay attention to you, " because they're genuinely interested " these days.
It'll make them feel like they stand out.
 
What not to do:
No one is completely selfless or selfish. Numerous people are more selfish
than selfless. So, make them feel like they're the only ones in the world.
You do this by allowing them to talk about themselves. You should discuss
other people in your life, because the person you're trying to seduce would
think you have no life. So, talk about your friends, that's fine. But, don't talk
about other girls or men romantically. It is a threat to their ego. You don't
want to threaten people's egos because it triggers the emotion, hate.
The key thing is, don't become an overly smooth talker. Don't compare
them to other people. Even if it is a good comparison because it means you
had someone else on your mind. They may not consciously realize that,
they may even take it as a compliment but truly, you are also making it
about the other person as well. Which we do not want to do. You want to
show that your attention is focused on your target.
 
I'll give you an example, there was one guy I dated. We'll call him Italy. So,
every time we went out, he would always talk about other girls. I wasn't
interested in him. But, the fact that he has been trying to win me over for
years, and he thinks bringing up other women will make that happen.
Wrong. I dropped him like a hot potato.
 
Who this works on/ what circumstances:
Anyone who has a low self esteem/attention seeker:
People with low self esteem will seek external validation. They don’t give
themselves any positive attention, that’s where you can fill the void.
The power seeker:
Anyone who is a power seeker loves the validation single minded attention,
it makes them feel powerful.
 
Who it doesn't work on:
People who are already the stars of the show. In this case, you can do the
complete opposite. Ironically, most people aren't the stars of the show. And,
stars of the show get all the attention so much that it feeds their self esteem,
it is the only thing they rely on. So, they need it too. But they're so used to
getting their way.
If you want to get a star obsessed with you, just do the complete opposite.
In fact, ignore them. Act like they don't exist. Don't act like you're
intimidated and look down the whole time. But keep your head up and look
around like you're bored and you're waiting for the next interesting thing to
happen.
Remember, don't do this to someone who isn't used to the attention at all.
You'll have to start very slow, because some people who aren’t used to it,
may be cynical. And if you're too overt, you'll just seem manipulative and
you desperately want something out of them.
 
 
make your target feel insecure
 
Why do we always return to people who make us feel insecure, and like
absolute filth? Compared to the person who treats us like we're gods? 
Because we want to impress the people who make us feel insecure. When
they soothe our insecurities, a voice says " see, THEY DO CARE. " Then,
it happens again, and we're back in the duplicate cycle. Once you make
someone insecure, they are hoping you make them feel confident again.
 
What to do about this?
1) Discover what they're insecure about.
2) Link their insecurities to you. Example: if they're afraid of abandonment,
hint at abandoning them.
3) Soothe their insecurities. Example: after you hint at abandonment, give
them hope again, by showing them you're always around.
 
How can you discover someone's insecurities?
You will be able to see it in their reactions to things. Their body language
when you discuss certain things. If they get defensive about something (it'll
show in their tone, body language) then you know it is something they fear
or will get them angry.
Most people will not admit their fears. Unless they are very honest. Which
is quite rare. It will come out in their unconscious behavior. You can also
tell by what they " joke " about. Most jokes aren't jokes. They are an
indicator of what our unconscious resonates with and believes, and
potentially suppressed sides.
 
Here are two examples:
One guy who has been after me for a year now. We will call him redneck.
He always " jokes " about me ditching him. One day we were watching a
basketball game together. I complimented his long hair, and he explained he
needed to cut it in two weeks.
" So I guess that'll motivate you to see me for the next two weeks " says
redneck. See? He didn't even to tell me. You can just read it from his
unconscious behavior.
 
Here is what I did/do:
When he jokes about that abandonment. I don't try to reassure him that I'll
see him. (Plus that makes me scarce). I just lookat him with passionate
eyes, and smile gently. I see in his reaction and he starts fidgeting and he'll
start babbling. (An indicator that he is incredibly nervous. Most people need
to fill in the silence.)
I pull back which makes him even more nervous. Then I finally add the
cherry on top and soothe his anxiety by telling him I am happy to SEE him.
(The reason why I tell him I am happy to see him is because I already
messed with his insecurity about abandoning him. And, not SEEING him
anymore. So I erased his fears by telling him I was happy to be there.)
I also used his specific language on him which were see.
See what I did there?
I specifically used the word " see " because using their words, means
speaking their language.
 
Second example:
Youngin.
I noticed one of his fears: Not being cared for.
This is how I found out: we went to see a movie, and I got him sick.
Apparently. He informed me the next day that he blames me for being sick.
That night we spoke on the phone, and these were my exact words " I'm
sorry, kind of. " In a very cold tone. He got emotional about it, and
continued to bring it up. The day after I asked him how he was feeling and
he said " my cold is gone. But I'm glad you care today. Yesterday you didn't
care at all. My feelings are pretty hurt. " I asked him if he was being
sarcastic and he said yeah he " was just kidding " ... bullshit.
 
What I did:
When he brought up " me not caring yesterday, but me caring today. " I just
brushed it off and said " well if you say so. " He grew quiet. And, changed
the subject. His voice got shakey. After I could see he was reaching his
breaking point I said " Listen youngin. You know I care. How can I make it
up to you? " He automatically cheered up. Apparently me making it up to
him is something he is looking forward to. Since he keeps bringing it up. I
verbalized my " care " for him, because he needed verbal validation.
The reason why this works is because you are putting a person's ego and
vanity on the line. If you make them feel insecure they will want to
overcompensate. But, if you spark that hope, that you do care, afterwards
(it's all about timing) they'll feel like they had impressed you.
 
Our subconscious minds are always seeking to make things better. And, if
you are the one who makes them feel insecure, then made them feel better
afterwards they will become emotionally dependent. They'll associate you
with the answer to them feeling more confident. Once you make them feel
insecure, they hope you will make them feel confident, as you once did.
 
Make them FEEL.
 
-For example if they think they're ugly make them FEEL beautiful.
-if they have low self esteem focus on them and only them.
 
 
Your exclusivity
 
The definition of exclusive is restricted, or limited.
Dirty little secrets. Everyone wants in on a little secret. If you've ever
watched the series " Shameless " , Kevin's bar is losing its customers to a
little secret bar, because the bar was EXCLUSIVE. The bar was also hard to
find, which made it appear much more exclusive. They only let in a specific
group of people come in. Whereas Kevin's bar allowed every single person
to come in.
Everyone wants to feel as if they are part of something exclusive. That's
why brands like Chanel and Hermes draws people in. Because of their
exclusivity. Exclusivity is associated with the elite. It pertains to our need to
belong to a group or community.
 
How to take advantage of this:
1) Have a secret:
Everyone wants in on a secret, specifically a top secret. Be mysterious and
ambiguous. Make it appear you are exotic and are part of some esoteric
group. Use language that is ambiguous, have inside jokes, and give people
glimpses of your life without revealing what is truly going on, but enough
to spark curiosity and their imagination.
 
Examples: Prince, spoke in riddles. I knew a lady who lived in his
neighborhood in Toronto. He spoke in riddles. Even though this haunted
people, it still drew them to him. His riddles also made it seem like he was
connected to some kind of esoteric knowledge or group, that no one knew
of. This made Prince's allure more captivating.
 
Glimpses of your life:
Sometimes I would have people call me in front of a desired group I chose,
and I would discuss something that was stir people's curiosity without
satisfying it.
For example:
I was with a group of a few friends. I had someone call me, and discuss a
man who we believed to be interested in a strange fetish. This is how the
conversation went (on my end):
As the phone rang, I looked at it with a look of horror. I answered the phone
almost shaking.
" H-h-hello? "
 
" Oh my god. He's still there? Holy fuck! "
" No, are you serious? That's so fucked up. "
" You need to get out of there, like ASAP. "
" Okay, no, no, no. I'm really sorry. "
" I just don't like it..... "
" Shit. Holy fuck. Don't scare me. Shit, just get rid of him. Like eliminate
him. "
At this point my friends are giving me various looks of horror, and
confusion. I took them on some kind of emotional roller coaster with me,
while giving them glimpses of my life.
At the end of the phone call, I made no comments about it, and acted like
that phone call never happened. Everyone was attempting to conclude what
that phone call may have been about, and who was on the other side. I gave
them confused looks, and never brought it up. Occasionally they still bring
it up, which shows how effective being mysterious and showing off
glimpses of your life is.
 
 
2) Be difficult to get a hold of:
Make it seem like they'd need to make an appointment to speak or see you.
That's how difficult it should be, to get a hold of you. Don't answer phone
calls for a specific period without any explanation. Mysteriously disappear.
 
Who this works on:
Idealistic people:
They're always fantasizing, and daydreaming. If you make it appear you're
a jar of secrets, and you give them space to imagine. They'll always imagine
what this secret may be. And, they'll imagine what they'd want it to be.
Control freaks:
Because they're driven by certainty. Once you give them that uncertainty,
they'll become obsessed.
People who have the " me too " syndrome:
These people are constantly agreeing, because they desperately want to fit
in. Being part of an " exclusive " club, often involves fitting in, and
belonging to a group. Play on their weakness, by being exclusive.
 
Who this doesn't work on:
People who feel threatened by not knowing. They may obsess over it. But
you may come off as lying or not trusting them. And they may just walk
away.
 
When to use this:
-In the beginning, to trigger their curiosity and make them want to be a part
of your life, much more.
When not to:
-When you want to show you have let them in.
 
To summarize: Get people to try to join your exclusive club. By making
them feel like they're part of something extra ordinary, and top secret.
 
 
play innocent
 
People that appear harmless, or " square " are easier to trust. They are
innocent, and would never touch a fly... right?
 
Explanation:
Innocence gives you power and control over people, because your target
will believe that they have the upper hand in your interactions. If someone
feels superior to you, they won't see you as a threat, to their superiority,
status, or ego. Therefore they will be receptive, and trusting. Because " you
could never do such a thing! "
There's two reasons why you play innocent. First reason would be, that
people want to feel superior to others. People want to feel safe mentally.
Meaning, no one would attack them mentally, and emotionally. And, no one
else would threaten their position of power. (Whether it be knowledge,
beauty, career, etc.)
What to do:
Allow your target to feel superior. Figure out what it they want to feel
superior about. Common examples are intellect, looks, and career. Even if
they aren't superior to you, make them feel superior about whatever it is
they desire to feel superior about. By subtlety complimenting them. Or, by
allowing themto continuously talk about their superiority. Why not both?
 
What not to do:
If you act completely innocent, like someone who has been born yesterday,
they will treat you like a child.
 
When to use this:
When you know your target has the desire to feel superior. When you want
to get information out of someone, their secrets and information you want
to know will pour out of their pores.
 
When not to use this:
When you want to play up your dark side, or your confident side. If you
show you're innocent all the time, people will develop the inability to take
you seriously.
 
Examples:
 
If you want information from a superior, or you want something done for
you, you can play up a strategic weakness.
 
Information from a superior:
Just act innocent, and mildly clueless. (In a cute forgiving way.) I used to
have jobs where I would act much more stupid and innocent than I was.
Yes, people thought I was " stupid " and " naive. " But, the results: people
felt superior to me, they didn't see me as a threat so they would TELL ME
things about other people, things that I shouldn't know, about the company,
about the other employees, and my employee. That, I would later on use to
make more money, and to my advantage. Of course, I kept all the
information confidential.
I made my boss favor me over everyone else. When all the other employees
got jealous, I got them to love me as well.
 
Want something done for you? Great, just play up strategic weakness. It
agitates other people, and they'll just do it for you. Most people are
impatient, and will not tolerate inadequacies. This brings out their superior
intellectual side. Unconsciously they'll think " this is my chance to prove
I'm better. And, I know what I'm doing. " Or, their inner teacher. Which is
the same thing.
 
My manipulative cousin always mentioned that he didn't know how to cook
or make tea. So, I would say " okay, fine I will just show you. " Me
showing him was me doing it for him.
However, don't do this all the time, people will end up resenting you. And,
they'll see right through your bullshit. Remember bullshit will get you to the
top, but it won't keep you there. It will anger people, that you aren't trying
to learn how to do X.
 
Second reason you play innocent is because everyone likes innocence. They
want their youthful days back. People want purity again. The world has
corrupted their eyes through heartbreaking experiences, people have
betrayed their trust, and they have witnessed the dark side of things.
 
What to do:
Be child like. Be lighthearted. See through eyes of a child, once in a while.
Have a fresh new outlook on life. Seem a little vulnerable, or like you don't
have much experience. Be pure.
 
What not to do:
Playing the role of childlike innocence, requires a certain degree of
childlike mischief. Playing completely innocent results in being treated like
a child. Innocent could mean lack of intelligence, experience or both. Do
not do this. Show some of your intelligence, and experience.
 
When to use this:
-When you want to have fun.
-To lighten a dark situation. For example, when you want to convince
someone who is uptight, and negative to go on an adventure.
-When you want to learn about people.
Learning about people requires no biases, opinions and a fresh outlook on
life, and people. Hence why you must have a fresh outlook when getting to
know people.
Especially, your target. This'll draw your target to you more as well due to
the fact that you aren't bringing any baggage in.
 
When not to use this:
-When you want to be taken seriously.
-When people want to be taken seriously.
-In a life or death situation. If you're stranded you want to show you're
serious, and you care.
 
Who this works on:
Busy rich people:
Who want an escape, from their responsibilities. And, who want to go back
to their younger days where they didn't have responsibilities weighing them
down.
Troubled people:
They wish they had their innocence back. And, weren't troubled by life.
People who have a superior inferior complex:
An innocent person would make them feel superior. An innocent person
wouldn't threaten their ego.
Older people:
Wish they had their younger days back.
Nerds:
Because they could essentially " teach " an innocent person things.
 
Who this doesn't work on:
Someone else who is innocent.
 
 
be in the present moment
 
Turns out time machines do exist. They exist in our minds. People are either
constantly living in the past or the future. But, never the present. So when
you live in the present it is seductive.
Why? Because no one usually is. The ability to actually be and bask in the
present moment is powerful. You pay more attention. You're calmer. It
shows you care about nothing more than the time you have with this person
RIGHT NOW. It makes you appreciate your time, and utilize it the fullest.
 
How to take advantage of this:
Be mindful of the moment. Experience everything through your five senses.
Get out of your head, and into your body. This means you aren't thinking
about what happened two minutes ago or what you'll have for dinner.
Truthfully none of that matters at the moment. You'll handle all of that that
when you need to. You're experiencing the moment fully. Through all five
senses. Nothing else matters except this moment. And, it'll rub off onto
other people too. Just breathe in and out. And, it'll help bring you into the
moment.
 
When to use it:
All the time. Even when you're doing the dishes. When you're taking a
number two. Experience everything. Did you know that ninety percent of
your thoughts are just useless and repetitive? Why indulge in useless,
repetitive thoughts?
 
Who to use it on:
Everyone! Including when you need to spend time with yourself.
 
When not to use it:
You can use it all the time. There isn't a time when you should be distracted
from the present.
 
 
become the flawless illusion
 
" Looking back, I guess I used to play-act all the time. For one thing, it
meant I could live in a more interesting world than the one around me. "
-Marilyn Monroe
 
Explanation:
Reality just fucking sucks, sometimes. Everyone wants some kind of
illusion. Everyone wants to step into a different world. People who are "
realistic " are often seen as cynical, and/or pessimistic. Why? Because
they're realistic. No one likes realistic people, and if they say they do, they
don't. But, we don't admire them as much, as the person who is a mixture of
dreamy sweet, and reality.
 
You've got to be unrealistic and bring them into some kind of fantasy.
Represent a dream. Be unrealistic, without being obvious. The elements of
being dreamy are:
Make it seem like you can do anything. Like there are no limits. Think of
movies, there are no limits. They can do anything. They are almost god like,
the actors and actresses. They romanticize everything. You are so close to
the person but, they're behind the screen. Being dreamy means you
represent the bigger things in life, like life and death. You're fetishized. Be
passionate. You're extra ordinary. Be mysterious. Act like you're somewhere
else, have a day dreamy look on your face.
Appear immortal. We have always believed celebrities are gods. To us,
they'll never die. And, even when they do die, we deny it. Because it is
ingrained into our brains that these celebrities are immortal. Learn from
these celebrities, and become a fantasy, and immortal.
 
Who this works on:
-Busy people who have lots of responsibilities. Reality is all they DON'T
need right now. What they truly need is, some kind of illusion, a fantasy.
-The dreamer is someone who is constantly fantasizing and/or
daydreaming.
-The intellectual. This would work well on the intellectual, because they
need an escape from their mental prisons. Giving them fantasy and reality
will give them the chance to escape their mental prisons.
 
Who this doesn't work on:
People who have messy lives. They want to come back into reality. These
types of people are cynical.
However, some people who have messy lives tend to beescapists. You'll be
able to tell they're this way by things they talk about. Are they always
listening to music, watching tv? Reading (fiction) these are all signs that
they are escapists. So this technique shall work for them.
The elements of being realistic:
Realistic means people can relate to you. You're in the clouds, yet, you're
still grounded and everyone can relate to you. And, understanding daily
limitations of life, and how life works.
 
So, you'll also have to understand timing. When is the right time to be
dreamy, and when is the right time to be realistic.
 
When to be dreamy:
-When you want things to be light.
-When people question your character.
-When you're having fun.
-When you want to trigger desire.
-When you want to inspire people.
-When you want to provoke curiosity, and their imagination.
 
When to be realistic:
-When someone is telling you something personal, and/or serious.
-You want to be able to be relatable.
-When things get serious.
-When someone is having a problem.
 
The right timing of the real and unreal will draw people to you. The way
celebrities and highly fantasized people have an effect on the world, you'll
be able to have that same effect, by having a mixture of fantasy, and reality.
 
 
the small details
 
What do you think impresses your target? A dinner at an expensive
restaurant? Flowers? Expensive gifts? Corny words, and phrases?
Why are you trying so hard? Do you know how suspicious you look? How
many times has your target heard and received these " impressive "
gestures?
 
What to do:
Show them you're paying attention to them. Do little things that appeal to
their psychology. Say things that acknowledge their fears, insecurities, and
deepest desires. Remember, it's the little things in life that make up the
large-scale things.
 
Some examples:
If their long work hours, prevent them from going on adventures, the last
thing they want to do is go to dinner. It's likely something they do on a daily
basis. Do something that appeals to their individual desires. Take your hard
working target, on a spontaneous adventure. Maybe they're craving some
kind of uncertainty, because they're stuck in a routine.
An attractive woman may want someone to notice her intelligence. Make
her feel she is intelligent. Ask her questions, that would bring out the
intellect in her. Compliment her intelligence.
 
 
go beyond our physical existence
 
Why are cult leaders attractive? Why did people follow Charles Manson,
even knowing he was a sinister prick?
 
Explain:
They are spiritual. They believe in something much more divine. See, most
of us are seeking for some kind of meaning in our lives. We're searching for
something more than this material world. Another realm. A spiritual one.
 
Why does this work?
Our minds seek to make sense of our EXISTENCE . We all worry deep
down inside that this life is meaningless. It is our existential insecurity. We
want to believe there is something more. After all, what would be the point
if it just ended? We don't want it to just end. This scares us. And, religion,
spirituality, the belief of spirits, ghosts etc. ease our fears. It gives us some
kind of blind faith, that life may be meaningful. That, it does not stop there.
 
What to do:
 
Show unhappiness of the physical plane. You cannot be bothered by money,
status, and other physical ordinary things, and routines. Make it seem like it
was fate. There was a reason why this is happening.(Your meeting) It was
destiny, that brought you and your target together. While showing that love,
sexuality and romance are all spiritual.
 
What not to do:
I always have people coming to my door, trying to stuff the whole "
Jehovah's witness " religion down my throat. Now, I respect people of
Jehovah's witnesses, but this is a prime example of what you SHOULDN'T
do. Your spirituality shouldn't be specific, unless you have a religion you
follow. But, usually it should be ambiguous. And, generalized.
 
Who not to:
If someone is cynical. Then tone it down slightly. Be very ambiguous about
your spirituality. Don't directly mention " destiny or fate " but, use different,
indirect words, or phrases.
Example:
" It was meant to be. "
 
Who to use this on:
Someone who is evidently bored with the physical mundane things as well.
The existentialist:
If the existentialist you are targeting, has existential insecurity, you can
soothe their fears by implementing this technique.
The narcissist:
Take the narcissist out of their selves, by bringing them into a much more
spiritual view of the world.
Rich person:
The rich person has experienced many things the world has to offer. Rich
people often grow bored, because of all the experience they have. There are
two ways to refresh them: either by playing innocent, or being spiritual.
 
Example:
Mansion:
When we first started speaking, he started talking about how he wasn't "
destined for something because of his current incarnation. " I knew what he
was talking about. He always spoke in a way that was spiritual. Like his
riches were meant to happen, because the angels let it. Simultaneously it
horrified me, and turned me on. He was the ideal example of the " spiritual
romantic, and sexual. "
 
 
play against your stereotype
 
Everyone will always have expectations of you based on your stereotype.
Stereotypes such as: hair color, age, race, career choice, Followed by
subcultures. Such as hippie, thug.
For me, I'm tall, slim yet curvy. I'm beautiful. I also look like a teenager for
my age. So I'm either intimidating or brainless. Many people believe I'm
shortsighted. A huge bitchy airhead. Except, I'm not. I surprise people with
my intellect, and masculinity.
This'll keep people on their feet, and you won't be a boring person.
Surprise your targets, by giving yourself qualities and dimensions that go
against your stereotype(s).
 
Examples:
Maybe you're tough, but you love to read romance novels.
A sociopathic person volunteers for a charity.
A pothead who practices martial arts.
By combining characteristics in unexpected ways, you appear mysterious,
memorable, and unique. It'll make people want to know you more.
This makes everything in the process more fresh, unpredictable, and
exciting.
 
 
leave your baggage at the door
 
Have you ever gone out for coffee, or dinner with someone who
continuously spoke about their baggage?
You sit there trying to be sympathetic, and try to sneak in a few words, but
they continue ranting? Don't they ever stop to get some air? At this point,
you just want to leave.
Why do we hold onto baggage?
Baggage is easier to hold onto, rather than letting go of it. Our minds hold
onto our baggage as a form of protection. To you, it might be your norm.
Your mind is always presenting past memories, hurts, and pains. And, you
sit there going over every detail. However, when you hear someone else
verbalizing their baggage, you want to cringe. It's alright if it comes up, but
all the time, is excessive.
When meeting with people, we want a blank fresh canvas. Not one that is
messy, and filled. Leaving your baggage at the door allows people to
project their ideals onto you. We are more likely to project onto people who
are quiet, and unbiased, hence leaving your baggage at the door.
How baggage can negatively affect your current relationships:
1) You project your past onto other people.
2) You can't control the past. Only the present. The past doesn't exist
anymore, so focus on what does exist right now: the present.
3) You're not truly healing your past wounds. You continue to keep burying
it deeper, and deeper. You need to fix the emotional wounds so it won't
affect the future and present anymore.
 
How to take advantage of this:
If they ask you about an ex, or something personal, you'll have to give little
bits of pieces and information. Not the whole story. If it was a question that
may trigger certain emotions, and you answer vaguely, with indifference it
shows it doesn't have an effect on you. Hence, not bringing any baggage in.I say indifference because the tone of your voice exposes how an
experience had an effect on you. If you have a sad tone, it has left grief with
you. If you were indifferent, it shows it had zero effect on you. Hell, you
even forgot about it!
Come into a situation with a pure curiosity. If you bring in your baggage
you place it onto someone else, and it prevents you from truly learning
about the other person. Leave all your biases, negative emotions, opinions,
memories at the door.
If someone tells you their opinion about something, acknowledge it. Don't
argue with them about how it's " wrong. " People will want to open up to
you more, because you aren't projecting onto them. You're simply listening.
(Light commentary is acceptable.) People crave someone who is a good
listener. A real listener. Be a good listener, be in the present moment.
 
When you can show off your " baggage "
If you need to vent, then vent. If you can trust this person, emotionally.
However, you want people to know very little about you, but enough to
keep rapport.
However, if someone keeps pushing you to talk about your past, don't get
defensive and say " LOOK MAN I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT. "
Instead, reply with “It's whatever. Or, " its a long boring story. " It’ll give
you that sexy nonchalant tone. Like, everything and everyone else is
insignificant.
 
What not to do.
DO NOT talk about your past. Meaning bad memories, and talk about your
ex's, or the people who have wronged you.
Don't play victim.
 
Works with:
Everyone.
No one, I repeat, no one wants to hear about your baggage.
 
 
romanticize everything
 
Romanticizing things, ideas, situations, or people is the act of conveying
something as more glamorous, ideal, or better than it truly is. (Think:
Hollywood. They will find anything to romanticize.)
 
Make things seem much more romantic than they are. Idealize things and
situations, in a very subtle way.
It could be the tone of your voice, (a dreamy dazed tone.) Your amusement
by the beauty of the scenery, your target's dress.
 
Example:
Wow, isn’t the scenery so beautiful? (dreamy, yet subtle tone.)
Add in a hint of sexuality as well. The hint of sexuality can be through your
eyes, your body language. Make it non verbal.
 
What not to do:
Don't be too pretentious.
Don't be too overt about how romantic things are, or your sexuality.
Don't be too corny.
If you DO the above, people will be repulsed, think you’re some kind of
sleaze ball, and run, very fast.
Example:
Person who will read poetry to you, when they know you don’t like poetry.
 
 
 
their experience with you
 
 “I've learned that people will forget what you said. people will forget what
you did. but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
-Maya Angelou
 
Emotions will always stick with us no matter what. Even when the
memories are long gone. They'll always remember the emotion. Our
emotions drive us. Not our logic, and that's a fact.
 
How to take advantage of this:
Give them an experience of a lifetime:
The experience they've been yearning for. Keep an eye on the experiences
that have become a routine for them.
Are they always working? Going out for dinners? Are they fascinated by
danger? Provide the experiences they lack, and would die to participate in.
Induce multiple, and in particular, their suppressed emotions. Whatever you
do, always evoke an emotion. Any emotion. Your presence will leave
residue in their minds, and hearts. This is what the most famous marketers
induce.
 
When to use this/who to use it on:
Someone who has a boring life.
Someone who is used to routine.
The innocent one.
All these target types desire an exceptional experience, along with the
emotions that tag along with it.
However, you should generally supply everyone with extraordinary
experiences.
 
When not to/who not to:
Someone who is always experiencing uncertainty. Again, it works on
everyone. You must experience good things with everyone.
 
 
reverse psychology
 
Don't you dare think imagine that pink elephant!
I bet you did. Actually, I'm 100% sure you thought about that pink elephant.
 
What is reverse psychology?
Reverse psychology is getting someone to do something by telling him/her
to do the exact opposite. Our subconscious minds processes everything as
positive. So it'll challenge the person, and it might make them want to do
the suggestion, much more.
 
Why does this work?
Once someone takes away our sense of freedom, control, and choice either
by telling us not to do it, or forbidding us. It motivates us to rebel, and do
the exact opposite.
 
When to use this:
-When you want to challenge them.
-Bring them out of their shell.
-Motivate them. Reverse psychology must only be used in a positive
direction, and in a teasing tone.
 
Example:
Telling your target “I bet you can’t do x” might motivate him or her to do
the opposite just to prove you wrong.
 
What to do:
It all starts with two voice tones. The flirty tone, and nonchalant. It depends
on the type of tone you want to project. But DO NOT sound like you are
trying too hard, your target will become aware of what you're trying to do.
Also, don't sound angry. Or, risk threatening their ego.
 
When to not to use reverse psychology?
It depends on the situation, and the person. You wouldn't want to use
reverse psychology on someone who is insecure. Or, if someone is trying
something for the first time, of course they're going to be insecure and feel
like they can't do it!
 
Who not to use this on:
-People who are insecure, and lack confidence. Might make their seeks
esteem lower. You can use this if you want to make them feel insecure. But,
follow up with making them feel good again. (see: make them feel insecure,
in this section.)
-people who are new to something. (Again, with the confidence.)
-Flexible people. People who are more likely to agree with you.
 
Who to use this on:
-Type A personalities.
-The nerd.
-The rich person.
-Narcissists
-Stubborn people
-Control freaks
-People who are very resistant.
What do all these people have in common? They all have amplified egos.
 
So, remember... DON'T use reverse psychology to challenge and get what
you want. ;)
 
 
what are you associated with?
 
Associations are two things that are linked together. It is when the mind
links two things together.
 
Example:
When you imagine the movie Fast & Furious, you think speed, power. This
is what an association is. The mind correlates two things together.
 
How to take advantage of this:
What do you want to be positioned as in someone's mind?
Give yourself one prominent characteristic. If you want to be positioned as
someone who is sexy. Then have sexy characteristics. Whatever sexy means
to you. Talk around your characteristics, not about them. Discuss sexy
things, sexy movies. (No, not pornos) wear sexy things. Have a seductive
husky tone. (When you are indirect, and represent these things rather than
vocalized what you are, this will affect their subconscious mind.)
Colors:
Different colors are associated with different meanings. Pink is love. Red is
lust. Wear colors that you want to be associated with. If you wanted to be
associated with mystery, or power. Wear black. Purity and innocence is
white.
 
The activities and environment you were in:
Most people may associate you with the environment you first met in,
and/or the activities you participated in.
Body language:
If you had positive, and attractive body language that would be associated
with you. Vice versa.
 
Remember in business, certain products took over the entire market. Instead
of using the verbs themselves, the names of companies are the verbs and/or
nouns, themselves.
Examples:
If you want to know something. It's " just Google it. "
Want a tissue? No, it's " hey, want a Kleenex? "
 
Why?
People all associate each other with something. You may as well choose
what you're associated with.
 
Because you want to be the best at something. You'll create something.
You'll start a trend, people will come in second and try to steal,and copy
you. But, no one could compare to you. Just like no other brand can
compare to Chanel. Or, Louis Vuitton. You want to own that shit. If you
want to start something, be unique. Own the entire market. Instead of
climbing the corporate ladder, own it.
 
Do you want to be remembered? Or, completely forgotten. Your pick.
 
When to use this:
It is usually engrained into someone's mind the first time they meet you.
Within seconds they will automatically create an impression of you. They
will associate something with you. So, act, and strategize fast.
 
When not to:
If someone has a strong opinion on you, it'll be hard to penetrate through
those walls, but it can be done. The strong opinion doesn't need to have to
be good or bad either. It can be one or the other.
 
What not to do:
Don't try to verbally convince someone that you are a certain way. Just act
AROUND IT. Because if you try to verbally convince them, their conscious
mind will try to block it out, as a result, not penetrating the subconscious
mind. Which is what is in charge here. The mind will only associate you
with whatever you desire to be associated with, if you represent it,
indirectly.
 
Who this works on:
People who are prone to idol worshipping. They are prone to this because
they're empty and they cannot think for themselves. They are sheep and
need to worship something or someone.
This works with extroverts as well, because some extroverts like " labeling
" themselves.
People that obsess over the media.
Overall, everyone. Because, we are inherently associating everyone with
something. (It’s how we remember them, especially the first time meeting.)
 
Who this doesn't work on:
This will pretty much work on anyone.
 
Example:
You know of someone you think of when something is mentioned. Here are
a couple of examples.
The local drug dealer. " Yo man, where can I get some pot? "
 
" OH! That's easy! Let's just call up Jay. (I use jay because jay is such a
common name for a drug dealer name back when I was in high school.) So
jay is branded as the gangsta, drug dealer.
Something a little more sexist, but this is definitely a real example. I've seen
in school, and in the real world, often. " Yo man, I really need to get laid. "
" Oh, well haven't you heard about Savannah? "
" Oh yeah she's a slut! I'll go hit her up right up. "
See? Savannah and jay are both the go to people, for things. These people
haven't even thought about other people. Obviously this goes outside of
high school, and into the real world.
 
 
will they approach you?
 
One of the reasons people want to approach me is because I'm receptive.
I'm open and friendly to all people. If you appear a bitch or asshole, people
will be too intimidated by you, to even want to approach you. If you're
wondering why people don't approach you, your receptivity is the answer.
You need to be receptive, because their ego won't feel like you'll reject
them. No one likes being rejected. Unless they are an emotional masochist.
 
What's the difference between someone who is approached often, and
someone who people ignore? The difference is that the person who is
approached often appears/is receptive.
Receptive people are people who are open. We like to be around receptive
because they are willing to receive something. In this case, our interest.
Receptive people also reciprocate our interest, or at least it seems like it. We
won't feel rejected once we see someone who is receptive.
 
The appearance of a non-receptive person:
-Busy. Reading, earphones in, talking on phone.
-Angry, sad, frustrated, agitated.
-Intimidating. Too good looking for their own good, " tough looking such as
gangsters, thugs. " Or, the beauty.
-This person may not even feel negative emotions, they may just have the "
resting bitch face " Unfortunately, I suffer from the resting bitch face.
 
The appearance of a receptive person:
-Open body language.
-Not busy.
-Peaceful or happy look on face.
-Smiles at the person who wants to approach. This is an invitation that
screams " Yes! You're permitted to approach, and I won't reject you! "
 
How to take advantage of this:
Portray the appearance of the receptive person.
 
What not to do:
Have the appearance of the non-receptive person.
 
When to apply:
-When you're interacting.
-When you want to be approached.
-Bonus: if you're at an event or party, stand where many people are going to
walk to obtain something (bar, snack table) AND look receptive.
 
When to stop. When not to:
-When you want to establish boundaries.
-When you don't want someone to approach you.
 
 
are you listening?
 
The best listeners are therapists. You're sitting there talking or venting about
a recent problem that has come up in your life. But your friend keeps
interrupting with comments such as " that's so sad. " " That's horrible why
would they do that to you? " " Everything will be okay. " Then when you
*nicely interrupt with YOUR rant, they decide they want to give you
advice. You listen to make it seem like you are considerate and kind. But all
you want to do is tell them to shut the fuck up and just LISTEN. But, it
feels like no one does.
Then when someone comes along who does genuinely listen, you find you
can't stop babbling. You're embarrassed by the thought, but it’s become a
guilty pleasure.
 
Let them talk more. Be a good listener. I say this because people are
familiar with having other people trying to sell themselves. But, once they
come across a good listener, they can be the one to sell themselves. An
opportunity they can't resist. They want to show off the things they have
accomplished and have done in their lives. Allow them. Let them be the
star, and have the spotlight. This'll also make them feel powerful. And, once
you get someone talking they usually share more information than they
intended to share. Which is bad for them, and good for you.
In short, people want to be heard. Who doesn't?
 
What to do about it:
Ask opened questions. Open ended questions give them room to elaborate
on their answer, rather than a yes vs. no answer.
For example, a yes and no question would be: “Did you like living in
France?”
 
An open ended question would be:
“What did you like about living in France?”
“Why did you decide to move there?”
 
Don't be judge mental. Even saying " that's good " is a judgement. Adding
any labels to anything is a judgement. The less you judge the more they
want to give you information. Also, when you ask them a question and they
finish, continue looking at them and they'll give full answers, or give you
more details. It's an interesting psychological trick.
Most people don't know how to truly listen. There are four types of
listeners, or a combination of all. The people who are thinking about other
things. Like " what am I going to have for dinner today? "
The second one is someone who has information go through one ear but out
the other. So they can hear you, but they're not listening .
The third one is someone who is listening but they're trying to come up with
the most clever thing to say. Or the " wisest " reply, so people can say " oh
my god. That was so smart of you. " " That was so wise " of you.
The last one someone who is listening to give advice, or them wanting to
project their experiences onto you.
 
So, how do you really listen?
Have a clear mind. Don't go in with any biases, opinions. Just listen. And
really concentrate on the person. Whatever comes to your mind, give them
that answer. For me, I love to meditate on what people are saying. When
I’m on the phone, I close my eyes, and focus on the person’s voice.
 
Works on:
Everyone.
 
When to use:
-Whenever someone is speaking.
-When you're speaking of deep personal things, with the other person.
 
What not to do:
Don't be " such a good listener " where people think you have no opinions.
Or no life, too passive or boring. Have some opinions and listen whenever
someone is speaking. And, don't interrupt! In other words, have something
to say, when it is appropriate.
 
For example, Iknew a man who listened but never had anything to say. His
only replies were " mhmmmmm. " And, he'd rub his chin. He did warn me
beforehand, that he was too passive, and boring for me. At least he said
something useful, and honest there. However, during the our conversations
I would mistake his passivity for the cold shoulder.
 
 
resistance
 
You're going to experience three types of resistance:
 
1) Psychological resistance. They may be resistant to your efforts.
Why?
-They may be resistant because they don't want to feel agony.
-People are naturally resistant to change.
 
How to deal:
This is just how we're naturally wired. Be patient. Don't force it, or they'll
be more resistant. If you force it, what they resist persists. Unconsciously
they'll be grateful you gave them the time to adjust. That is, if you don't
become resentful and impatient.
 
2: You may not fit a certain quality they have on their ideal lover checklist.
 
How to deal:
Don't bother. Don't take this personally. You don't want to waste your time
anyway. If it's something like a racial preference, then don't bother. But, if
it's something more simple like you aren't adventurous enough, then you
can adjust your levels of adventure to appeal to theirs.
 
How you can tell:
You'll be able to tell what your target may be missing in their lives, that you
can't provide. See where their disappointments, and melancholy lies.
 
3) This is the type of resistance you want to have: a forbidden romance.
Create some romantic and/or sexual tension by making the circumstances
inevitable the two of you, may end up together. Or, can't be. For example,
someone or both of you are married. The tension will grow your desires. It
is true: we want what we can't have. So, take advantage of this, by creating
that tension.
 
How will I know if there is resistance?
-They'll be mean to you.
-They'll try to avoid you/easily becomes defensive.
-They'll try to avoid looking at you. Have you ever noticed those people
that try hard not to stare at you? But, you can tell anyway? Well, it's
because they want to stare at you. They don't want to make it seem like you
have any significance over their minds.... but you do.
-They'll try hard to act like you don't exist.
 
 
Conclusion
 
There are hundreds, if not thousands of techniques. You must choose which
ones will apply to your target, and which ones appeal to you the most.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Chapter 4
be careful what you wish for: the
potential corruptions
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
introduction
 
With power, comes lots of responsibility. Manipulation and obsession can
result in terrifying experiences, and may ultimately corrupt your perspective
of the entire world. It may negatively affect your relationships, and your
reputation. Here are the main results I myself, and others often experience.
 
 
stalkers
 
" I had taken the photograph from afar (distance being the basic glitch in
our relationship), using my Nikon and zoom lens while hiding behind a fake
marble pillar. I was hiding because if he knew I'd been secretly
photographing him for all these months he would think I was immature,
neurotic and obsessive.
I'm not.
I'm an artist.
Artists are always misunderstood.(Thwonk) "
-Joan Bauer
 
Have you ever felt like you were being watched? Followed? But, no one
was around? Your logical side may be telling you, you're being paranoid.
The sad part was, it wasn't my paranoia this time. That's exactly what
happened to me.
I've had multiple occasions with stalkers. Here is the most extreme and
unfortunate case that have actually happened to me.
One night, I was sitting with my laptop, writing some of this book for you
guys. It was a hot moist summer night, and I usually left my window open.
My family had a tenant in the basement. His friend frequently invited
himself over. The friend, who we'll call bible thumper, is the stalker.
That night the scent of smoke was flowing through the air. As I breathed in
the scent, I abruptly heard whispering outside of my window. " Scarlett,
come outside. " I was shaken, but brushed it off as soon as I already knew it
was my tenant's friend. I viewed bible thumper as someone who was
harmless, because I couldn't take him seriously. He was always joking
around, and doing stupid things. It was hard to tell when he was being
serious. The only time he was ever serious was when he was trying to
convince us to believe in Jesus.
That's why I brushed it off. I ignored him, and continued writing. Then, he
whispers " I love you. Please come be with me. " At that point, I knew this
wasn't a joke. I then shut off my laptop, and went to the living room.
" He never thinks to go there " I thought to myself. I took a break from
writing, and naturally stared at the darkness through the window.
I called up a friend, to catch up. Ten minutes later, my gaze follows some
kind of light that seemed to almost blend in with the darkness. Then I saw
it, bible thumper's face at the window. Staring right at me. I screamed at the
top of my lungs and dropped my phone. I rushed up to grab any weapon I
could and, closed every curtain and window in my house. I came back to
the phone and my friend was still there. " Scarlett, Scarlett?! " My heart was
racing so fast, I thought I was going to have a heart attack.
" Oh my god. Joe, I'm sorry. It's bible thumper he was at the window. " I
stopped to catch my breath. " Please come over. I'm scared. "
" On my way. " Joe quietly replied.
While I anxiously waited for Joe to come over, I called my tenant. We'll call
him cockroach. (These names have specific meanings to them. They're not
to insult them.) But, no answer.
Then, I heard something moving in my room. I stared at the knife I was
holding, grabbed it and slowly walked to my room. It was bible thumper.
He was trying to open my window wider. My stomach sank, because he was
so close. Until I screamed " I have a knife, and I'm not afraid to use it. "
He stopped. Then went back to the basement. Joe came over and everything
was fine that night. Although, that was just the beginning.
A few days later, I saw Bible thumper at the convenience store. This was no
surprise because he was always buying cigarettes there. I ignored him and
walked by him. He had the creepiest, sinister smile on his face.
" I heard you moved to the second floor. I'm going to climb the balcony,
while you sleep, so we can sleep together. " The other people in the
convenience store stared at him in shock. Two men stared at me in a
protective way, and I just ignored everyone and acted like nothing
happened. That didn't even phase me at that point. The freakiest part about
that encounter was that, I had no idea how he could've known because
everyone was away. And, no one knew I slept upstairs... except him.
Three weeks later, I've obviously forgotten about it. I'm sleeping heavily,
upstairs, and having wonderful dreams. Those dreams were interrupted by a
quiet knocking. It was bible thumper. I practically slept beside a knife and a
few other weapons next to me. I grabbed three weapons, ran downstairs and
called the police.
By the time the police came, he was still there. He acted like an idiot.
Telling them I was his wife, and that I told him to do this. As some kind of
sick, twisted role play.
It was frightening because my house is the biggest house in the
neighborhood. No one else has a balcony except me, and I overlook
everyone else's backyards. It would've taken two ladders stacked on top of
each other to get to my balcony. He actually took the effort to get up there.
Until now, I still have no idea how he knew I was sleeping up there. (I slept
upstairs, because I thought it was a way to temporarily get rid of him.)
 
What to do about:
The police's point of view:
They told me I need to either ignore them completely, so I don't give the
stalker any ammunition. Or... You guessed it. Call the police. Which works
perfectly fine. From the psychological point of view. This could be flawed.
Why?
Because while completely ignoringthem may help burn out the fire,
sometimes this may increase the fire and desire within your stalker to stalk
you with more persistence. As mentioned, the mind is always attempting to
finish business. If business isn't finished, the mind is always trying to
explore ways to finish business. This may be a motivation for a stalker.
Why do spouses hire private investigators? Because they want to KNOW if
their spouse is cheating on them. They want to KNOW what their spouse is
up to, when they aren't around. Well this is the same with stalkers. They
need to KNOW. They are motivated by KNOWING all they can about you.
So, you can get them to hate you. But that may motivate them to also stalk
you. You’ll just have to ascertain what will push your stalker away, for
good.
However, I know how to kick some ass when I'm required to.
Stalkers come in all shapes, and sizes. Just like people do. After all, you are
making people obsessed with you. You're bound to have some sort of
stalker. From the extreme, to the petty Facebook stalker. Anything is
possible in the stalker's mind. Watch your back…literally.
 
 
abusing your power
 
" Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's
character, give him power. "
-Abraham Lincoln
 
What is it?
The act of using your position and/or knowledge in an abusive way. And for
selfish, malicious intentions. You can abuse your power in many ways. In
this case it could be taking advantage of ill minded, vulnerable people. I'm
going to share with you an extreme case of how I abused my power.
 
Example:
The night I had met Porsche, was when I fell asleep at a bar.
That particular night, I was undergoing an existential crisis. I walked into a
bar expecting nothing but a drunken night filled with indifference. I
chugged one too many shots. And fell asleep. Then, a southern belle had
nudged me to wake up, " so no one would take advantage of me. "
Her and her husband asked if I wanted to join them at a huge party. Red
flags went up and images of torture and blood ran through my mind, yet I
concurred anyway. I was too drunk to care.
A few minutes into the party I was unconcerned with the pretentious
conversations people dragged me into, of which I couldn't relate to. I found
an excuse to get rid of them. I got me a glass of champagne and stared out
at the view. It was dark out and there was a view of the sparkling water in
the pool.
I turned to my left, and there was a man smoking. I loved the smell of
cigarettes and was tempted to ask him for a cigarette. He caught me gazing
at the cigarette, turned to me and asked " You trying to quit smoking? " In a
low masculine voice.
" No. I don't smoke regularly. But I do enjoy the act of smoking a cigarette
once in a while. " I replied.
He pulls out his cigarette box, and handed me one. " Here's a treat for
yourself. "
So we got to talking, smoking, and he asked me if I was bored out of my
mind. I replied " Yeah. Whoever threw this party must've been a shitty party
planner. "
He chuckled. " I guess I'm a shitty party planner. "
I chuckled with a hint of embarrassment. " Kind of, sorry. But you've got a
beautiful place. " I added.
He didn't seem to be offended about my comment. We continued to talk,
and hit it off.
 
Later on he went off and said " I should be entertaining the other guests
now. So that way, the others don't think I'm a shitty party planner. Catch
you later. "
We bumped into each other again, as I was about to leave. He genuinely
seemed interested in me. We walked around his mansion, and he had one
too many drinks. I told him that he's had enough. (in other words, too
wasted out of his mind.) I was taken aback when he went into fiddle
position, and started sobbing. I could feel his pain inside of my heart.
He was trying to say something, but I couldn't make out what he was
saying.
" I'm so fucking lonely. And I'm probably going to die soon. God damn it, I
don't want to be alone on my deathbed. I wish someone loved me. But no
one does. " Those were his exact words.
Holy shit I thought. I felt horrible but I didn't know what he was talking
about. I presumed it was his beer goggles, and took it with a grain of salt.
As everyone departed, he begged me to stay. He had confessed that the
frequent parties were to fill a lonely void. And, perhaps the possibility of
finding a woman to be by his side, the day he dies.
As a result of his begging, I stayed due to the intensity of my intoxication,
and my curiosity. I wanted to see how far I could this. A few others stayed
as well, not for him, but for the scenery and unlimited booze. This put my
mind at ease. The night consisted of him discharging all his anxieties, tears
onto me, and hilarious movies.
 
The subsequent day I went home. We intuitively met daily, for two weeks. I
didn't mind hearing about his trials and tribulation with prostate cancer. In
fact, I wanted to listen.
At dinner the last night of the second week, he asked me if I wanted to
move in. I snickered " you're joking right? " I proceeded to explain I was
not filthy rich like he was, and I needed to work.
We agreed he would deposit money into my account, if I moved in with
him. No sex or anything. Just pure company, and conversations like the
ones we engaged in every day. That's what happened. He was just an old
lonely male who had cancer and knew his days were numbered.
While negotiating, he stated that his money was mine. If my funds were
declining, I could go online into his account, and transfer funds into my
account.
One month later I transferred a substantial amount of money into my
account, while he went out with the boys. Then, I left. No note. No
explanations. Just pure abandonment.
I rejected all the anticipated the phone calls. One week later, I received a
call from his friend Camilo. Camilo said he was in the hospital because he
had attempted to commit suicide. His method was an overdose of pills
mixed with alcohol.
Porsche’s suicide note said I was responsible.
 
When the hospital discharged him, I've received death threats from people
in his circle. Followed by shady black cars following me around. For
months.
One year later, Camilo informed me, he passed away. His family knew how
somber I felt. As soon as I asked to attend, they hung up. Well, that was my
answer.
Not only does this story highlight abusing my power. But, it emphasizes the
people you should not take advantage of. Here was this elder lonely man
with cancer. I took advantage, and paid the price. A hefty one.
 
Why is this happening?
You are going to have a substantial amount of power over people. It will
become a routine and you'll abuse it. You're going to get greedy. You're
going to go on a huge ego trip. In the beginning, it may be your favorite trip
to go on. Rather than a pleasant trip to a tropical island. It's bound to
happen. Either you learn the hard way like I did or you stop cold turkey.
And along the way you'll lose friendships, trust, credibility, your reputation,
your morals, and your mind.
 
What to do:
You must always go into any situation clear minded. Do not let your ego
drive you to abuse your power. Because it truly is all your ego. Let go of
your ego, and just breath.
Use logic for every decision you are going to make. If you are driven by
your emotions. Like your arrogant ego, it won't get you anywhere.
However, periodically you should listen to your emotions. If you don't feel
comfortable doing something. Then don't do it. Other than that, be clear
headed. Think with your logic. Not emotions.
 
 
paranoia
 
“People that have trust issues only need to look in the mirror. There they
will meet the one person that will betray them the most. “
-Shannon L. Alder
 
What is paranoia?
Paranoia is excessive mistrust, suspicion, and delusions without any proof.
Story:
In the beginning, I thought I was invincible. I was naive, and believed all of
my targets had pure intentions. I only thought about my next target(s), and
what I was going to extract from them.
One day, someone asked me " So, if someonewas doing it to you, how
would you know? " I thought about it for a long time, and I didn't. I hadn't
even thought about it.
I completely forgot about other people's capabilities. If I could do it, why
couldn't anyone else?
Then it happened. The tables turned. I had met a guy online, we'll call him
youngin. As we were texting, I thought " how funny would it be if he was
playing me just as much as I was playing him? " " How would I react? "
Ironically, he was. I was hurt. Well, my ego was. I didn't think anyone could
beat me at my own game. He felt the same way, because I ended it before
we could go further into the game.
You might be thinking " so how did you know he was playing you? "
Well, whether he knew what he was doing or not is irrelevant. Or, if he
knew he was doing it is also irrelevant. I went back to his place, and we
fooled around. He had a strange obsession with wanting to see my phone.
The next morning he asked to see my phone again. Before I could answer
no, he said " if you have nudes, it doesn't matter. Because I already saw you
naked. The novelty is over. " With a chuckle. Then, I quickly ended it. As I
knew that was the truth. Because if that wasn't the case, it wouldn't have
been on his mind.
Then I started noticing people using the techniques. Unconsciously. Or,
consciously. I saw it in the media, I saw it everywhere! I became so
paranoid, I isolated myself. I still do.
It's like when you took that health class. Your teacher talked about different
diseases and their symptoms and you thought " Oh my god! I HAVE THAT!
" Then you start freaking out.
Or, when you took a mental health class, and you thought you had the same
symptoms as such mental disorder, so you self diagnosed. Your paranoia is
like this. You will diagnose a situation according to your deepest paranoid
beliefs. Even if it is far from the truth.
 
Why you're paranoid:
Our subconscious mind will always look for things that confirm our beliefs,
and ignore the rest of the things that may contradict our beliefs. This is
called confirmation bias.
If you're a narcissist, you'll think everyone is staring at you, because they
think you're sexy. Maybe you're a different kind of narcissist who thinks
everyone is out to get out to get you. Because you our minds will adjust
things according to our beliefs.
For example, let's say that you were paranoid about people trying to
manipulate you. You're chatting with someone and all a sudden, they pull
away. You will automatically think this is the hope and grief technique.
Maybe they got tired, or had nothing else to say?
 
Another example, if someone has a certain effect on you, you may
automatically think that they plotted the entire thing.
 
What to do about it:
Just breathe. All your paranoid thoughts are only in your mind. Re-assess
what is true and what is false. If you truly believe in your heart that your
paranoid thoughts are real then do something about it. Maybe stay as far
away as possible. Look at everything from an objective point of view, not a
subjective one.
If you've had bad experiences that have caused your paranoid thoughts in
the past, remind yourself that this is not the past anymore.
We see things according to our perception. But, not how things really are.
This is not to say your paranoid beliefs are invalid. They are. You have
every reason to feel paranoid. However, you can choose how you respond
to your paranoid. You control it, or it controls you. Which one will it be?
 
 
maintenance
 
Your target wants to spend all their time with you. Once the two of you
spend so much time together, insights are revealed about each person.
Insights, such as dark secrets, disgusting habits, etc. The illusion fades
away, and the real you begins to shine through.
Chances are, you've been acting this entire time. You're most likely not the
person you're portraying yourself to be. The problem with this is, it's hard to
maintain. When the real you comes out, the real you POSSIBLY won't fulfill
your target's ideal lover criteria. Reality and fantasy can only clash for so
long, until it becomes a disaster. That's why it's hard to maintain.
You can only maintain the act for so long, until you grow exhausted and
resentful.
 
What will happen to your target:
 
They will either believe you're trying to push them away, or will try to get
the " real you " back. Leading them to dig deeper into their obsession. (Just
like any other case. These are always the responses.)
 
How to handle this:
Find a way, any way to get out. If you show them your true colors, they
may either be repulsed, or much more intrigued. First, you'll have to test the
waters with this one. See if they enjoy the real you. If they don't, it's time
for you to exit out of this relationship.
However, if you are just as obsessed, continue to fake who you are, with the
added version of you
. Eventually you may even become this person. Refer to the section, in the
conclusion " Leave them obsessed forever. "
 
 
guilt
 
" I've got a bad case of the 3:00 am guilts - you know, when you lie in bed
awake and replay all those things you didn't do right? Because, as we all
know, nothing solves insomnia like a nice warm glass of regret, depression
and self-loathing. "
-D.D. Barant, Dying Bites (The Bloodhound Files, #1)
 
Years later, guilt lingers through my heart. I didn't think I had one, until all
this guilt came rushing through it.
Commonly, guilt means that a part of you or all of you doesn't value what
you are doing. Our subconscious mind sends us feelings and emotions
simply because it is trying to send you a message.
The message for guilt, would be: this is wrong. And, you know it.
I lived with a man, we'll call him Baldie. We never had sex. We didn't even
kiss. We cuddled once or twice for the year I've known him. During that
year, I've made it clear we weren't to have sex. Especially have an exclusive
relationship. We were only going to be friends. As months went on, he was
growing resentful and so was I. I thought he'd possibly hurt me physically,
so I would hide in the restroom every time I knew he was coming home.
I grew sick and exhausted of him. I needed an excuse to leave his house.
Without an explanation. He made one comment, and I used it as an excuse
to walk away. I just told him it was over. He called me with the sniffles,
begging me not to leave.
I miss all the times we had. He would let me speed in his car. We would
hang out all night going on crazy adventures, the kind of adventures no one
else would consent to, and talk. I was beginning to like him as a person. If
only, he was younger, and attractive. We would've been together.
I drive by his area, and sit by the lake where he lived and just ponder on if I
should just knock on his door and beg for forgiveness. How would he react?
That's another thing, you don't want to apologize and seem like the " weak "
one. You don't want to give any power to them. As a result, you don't. My
ego and pride are too big to let go of all the power. Yours will grow just as
big.
 
How to deal:
Know and accept that you feel guilty.
Forgive yourself.
Don't do it. Again. Although on this one, I am going to say it'll difficult to
overcome. Power trips are like fun drug trips. They feel incredible and
surreal. You don't want it to end, when it does, you NEED it back. You'll
realize how fun it was, to seduce someone strongly. It might not even be the
power itself, it might just be the entire process of getting someone to fall for
you. You'll miss the power. If you feel completely guilty, than this isn't your
cup of tea.
 
 
why aren’t they trying to win me back?
 
Things are rocky in your seduction, and you want out. Once you tell your
target you want out, they seem indifferent. You were expecting them to
come after you, try to win you back, put up a fight, and change your mind.
But, no reaction out of them. 
A part of you (mainly your ego) will suffer. From feeling like you didn't do
a good job. Or, you just weren't worth trying to win over.
Your ego maynot believe this, but, you shouldn't feel bad. Why? Because it
has nothing to do with you.
However, everything to do with your expectations. You're probably
expecting every single person to worship you.
Truth is, not everyone will fall for you.
So, here are some other harsh truths about your expectations that you may
or have not noticed:
You're allowing this situation to define who you are, and your worth.
Because if you can control someone's mind and emotions. How could you
not feel worthy? Truth is, sometimes life isn't going to go the way you
planned it. And, if you let it get to you, you're the one who becomes
obsessed.
 
How to fix this:
Work on your self-esteem, negative beliefs about power, and self image.
Love yourself unconditionally.
 
Second harsh truth: you might be a perfectionist. We all know what a
perfectionist is. Again, it also has to do with self-esteem. Perfectionists will
create the perfect strategy. Unfortunately, there will be an imperfection at
least once. Perfectionists are perfectionists because they believe they should
be perfect to be worthy.
 
How to fix this:
Imagine the worse case scenario. What would happen if you just let things
be? Is the world going to fall apart, without you trying to control it? Let go
of control. Control is an illusion.
 
Third: your beliefs about love are unrealistic and social conditioning, which
doesn't make it true. The media portrays love to be such a magical
wonderful thing. Something esoteric, and beyond our control. Love is just a
chemical, and a feeling. Just like anything else. So if they don't come
running back for you to beg for your love, don’t take this one personally.
 
The solution:
Change and challenge your conventional beliefs about love. You'll find
most of it, is complete bullshit.
 
Reasons why they may not be trying to win you over:
1) They expected to be abandoned.
2) They don't want to give you any power by telling you to how much they
miss you. Because you'd win.
3) They don't want to look desperate.
4) They had other options, and you weren't worth fighting for.
5) They don't believe in fighting. They may have came to peace with it, and
just let it go.
6) Their service provider, or internet aren't working, or haven't been paid
for.
7) This person has just given up on everything. They're indifferent.
8) They're confident. Confident people know that well fuck it, if they're not
going to answer or reply, I'm not going to waste my time.
9) In the second series of my book I talk about attachment styles.
Attachment styles are how people attach themselves in relationships. One
attachment style is the avoidant attachment. Meaning they will, and can
shut down emotionally. They don't have a hard time saying good bye. As
the event starts to sink in, that you're out of their lives, they'll feel remorse,
but may not try to get you back. Because, they're avoidant. A part of them
may even feel relief.
10) They've met someone else.
11) They've already had someone else.
12) They lost their phone
Or the “worst” of all..
They just don't give a fuck about you.
As you can see. Most it has nothing to do with you. We're all projecting our
experiences and beliefs onto other people. If you don't have any
expectations, you won't be disappointed.
 
 
Falling into your own trap: falling in love
 
This has got to be the worst one. When you fall in love, you've gotten
sucked into your own game. Sometimes you'll be absorbed by all the fun,
the passion, the desires that fuel your body. Sometimes you'll be so sucked
in, you'll start trying to convince yourself you ARE in love. When you
aren't.
Just know that sometimes the way someone feels may rub off on you.
(Mirror neurons.) And you may feel someone else's feelings that aren't
yours. Or you believe your infatuation is love.
 
Action:
Think about your psychological factors that may drive you to become
obsessed. Not saying your feelings are not valid. Of course they're valid.
But, try to find a distinction between real love and infatuation.
 
What's the difference?
Real love is when you love the person for who they are. When you can see
past the chemicals in your brain, and see past your psychology. Fake love is
when you project your fantasies onto someone else and think you're in love.
Or they fulfill a certain need, or remind you of a past lover and you believe
you're in love.
The real difference between the two is that the first one is selfless. But the
second one is all about you
 
Here's an example:
When I met Tom online, I thought he was the one for me. We even
contemplated spending the rest of our lives together. I had dropped all of
the men I was talking to. Just for him. After a week I blocked him. I
realized that it wasn’t love, but the beginning of obsession.
He reminded me of my boyfriend who had passed away. I had the upper
hand. He was that small town kid. Since I'm a visual person, and I can be
insecure about my looks. His looks were incredibly important. He was the
jock, and I was his cheerleader. This was all perfect. But these are only
ideas of him. Not who he truly is. Who he is, is someone I would never fall
for. I only fell for the illusion. Like most people do.
 
 
Who was seduced here?
 
You think you're in control, then abruptly, your target does something to
one up you. All of a sudden, they become more dominant. Or, they do
something to charm you, that you could've done.
I was always attracted to the innocent type. One innocent male we'll call "
Eric " challenged me. He told me " You can never conquer me. " On the
surface, I showed no emotion. Internally, images of conquering him flooded
my mind. Eventually, I did conquer him. He was a virgin, with a disability.
One day, we were " dirty talking. " Initially, he was in shock. Later, he
became complacent. And, exceedingly better than I was. This infuriated me.
Was your target in control? Or, was it me?
I get so used to being in control, and performing the pursuing. Having
people feel like they were the luckiest people in the world, and having them
ejaculating in their pants right the second I touch their arm. I felt like I had
lost all control. As if he was the one who had seduced me. I hated it. I hated
feeling like I lost all control.
 
My advice:
Even though this is about control, try to let go of control. I know this may
sound contradicting. Yet, you need to let go of the expectation of control. If
someone doesn't fulfill that need and expectation for you to control them,
you're left disappointed. So let go. Come into this game with a light heart.
Don't take it too seriously, or your ego may have some serious damage done
to it. If you didn't get to control the person, at least, you came out of it
learning a few rules.
 
Remember, you only learn from doing.
 
 
Analysis paralysis
 
Analysis paralysis occurs when a person becomes cast away in the
examination and analysis of information, as a result this person becomes
paralyzed with information, and may not be able to make a decision. And is
bombarded with information overload.
 
Story:
In psychology, there is always a reason behind someone's behavior. There is
a reason for everything, in psychology.
Every time I interacted with someone, I was always analyzing things. I was
never like this before I started learning psychology.
Then I hit rock bottom. I started analyzing not just people, but everything.
People found me to a " joy kill. " Because the so called outcome of my
analysis, was always something negative. My body was physically tired, but
my mind was constantly analyzing. It never rested. There were times when
I just wanted to take a gun to my head to silence my mind.
 
Why?
This is like a snowball. One thought or piece of information will roll down
a hill, thoughts and more pieces of information will add to it, the snowball
rolls down and get bigger. Thus, the analysis will paralyze you.
Our minds are constantly over working, and we are taught to " think about
it. " Instead of relaxing, and just doing what we know best and what feels
right.Sometimes when we aren't thinking, we feel guilty. We feel as if we
should be over thinking. It's a part of our collective unconscious behavior.
How to handle this:
Being in the present moment helps because it takes you out of your own
head. And, helps you let go of control. Sometimes, people over analyze
everything because it helps them believe they are control of things whether
they realize it or not.
Sometimes, some things are better left unknown, you've just got to remind
yourself of that. Even ask yourself, " Do I want to know? " " Do I care
about analyzing something when I don't need to know? "
Ponder those questions.
Lastly, with all the knowledge, strategies, and options you have, how can
you decide what to do with it?
 
 
Identity/existential crisis
 
An identity crisis is when someone (not just an adult) question their sense
of identity, and seek to gain a clearer picture of who they are, and how they
fit into this world.
An existential crisis, is similar to an identity crisis, except we question our
existence, what the meaning of our existence is, and why we belong here.
Depending on how many people you've seduced, you've now experienced
playing many different roles. Sometimes you get lost in playing these roles,
you don't even know who you are anymore.
When you identify with an identity, and you lose that identity or something
challenges it, you begin to experience an identity crisis. Identity crisis
happens because of circumstance. The loss of something, or someone.
 
Example:
One day I was sitting in the car toward lunch with my family. I was too
busy texting all my admirers. Then, my aunt turns to me and says " Don't
you ever stop and take a break? It's like you're in demand, everyone needs
to talk to you. " says my aunt with a giggle. I didn't reply, but I thought to
myself. " Well, I play all these men. One day the player will get played.
[me.] "
I chuckled at that thought, but considered it a possibility. One of the boys I
was texting, seemed so sweet and innocent. I began to trust him, and didn't
expect much from him. I trusted him so much I went back to his place. A
backstory about him, he obsessed about seeing the pictures on my phone.
So, he persistently asked to see my phone. Subsequently, after we fooled
around he asked if he could see my phone. I didn't say anything. Then he
continues to say " if you fear me seeing your nudes, I've already seen you
naked. The novelty is over. " He smirked. I shot him a dirty look. Quickly
realizing he had fucked up he said " I'm kidding. Quietly. " To make matters
worse, his parents were dropping us off at the subway and his father asked
him if he was going to the mall today. His mother laughed, and I quickly
caught on. I felt ashamed. Considering, he told his parents that we had met
at the mall. Even though it was online. Suggesting, this is a routine for him.
Ironically, getting played happened sooner than I speculated. When I got
home, I realized I was the player who got played. Because I thought he
wasn't a player. Although, I had a suspicion he was the player. Yet, I denied
it, because I wanted to believe his exterior was his interior (the pure
innocent one.) Just that tiny event caused me to have an identity crisis.
Additionally, he was disfigured, because he believed things were going
right. And, I've given him a puzzle to solve by just walking away. As much
as I knew he wanted to come running to me, I couldn't help but still feel like
I was having an identity crisis.
 
How to address a multiple identities crisis:
Determine who you want to be. What works for you, and what doesn't work
for you. This is a chance for you to figure out who you are and who you
want to be. You won't know if you haven't tried it. Considering, you've
played multiple roles, you'll know which roles you'd like to be a part of
your identity. And, which ones you don't like. Don't see this as a dreadful
circumstance. You'll never grow from in a state of " happiness " all the time.
You'll need some imbalance from time to time.
How to address the one identity crisis:
You've stuck with the one identity and now that you feel as if you've lost it,
or something is challenging it. Do not resist this. Things in your life are
changing. You don't need to identify with this identity anymore. It may not
be serving you, any longer. See this as a blessing in disguise.
 
Here's what you'll need to do: figure out what it is you're identified with.
Write it down. Record it. Tell someone. Then dis-identify with it. Detach
from these identifies and diversify your identities. Practice the art of non
attachment.
 
For example if you're some big finance guy or gal, be a beach bum. Be a
tennis player. Be the hippie. You don't have to confine yourself to one
identity. In fact, you can be whoever you want to be. You can still be these
different people but don't attach yourself to it. Realize and accept that these
things happen.
With all of this in mind, you will experience an existential crisis due to the
fact that what you are learning about, in this book are about the human fa ç
ade. You’ll begin to question your existence (if you haven’t already). This is
perfectly normal. Expect it, and your existential may give you freedom. I
have an existential crisis almost every day, and it’s liberating to know I can
make my life whatever I want it to mean. I don’t need to assign some big
crazy thing, or an intense circumstance to trigger my search for self. I
choose what I want my life to be. If it’s going to be about burritos, then so
be it. This is how I handle my existential “crisis.”
 
 
apathy
 
Once I learned about how to seduce people, I learned that everything was
just psychology. I felt like I had lost that spark when interacting with other
people. I just became indifferent. As a matter of fact, I didn't care that I
didn't care.
However, it did start affecting the way people saw me as well. People were
either starting to get bored or worried.
 
How to deal:
Ask yourself why you don't care anymore.
Apathy is usually a defense mechanism. Generally it is to protect you from
emotional pain, if you don't care. How can you get hurt?
There is nothing wrong with being apathetic. If being apathetic is a problem
for you, then you do care.
Although, there are some things people shouldn't care about. And, should
care less about.
 
Ask yourself: is my apathy a problem?
How is it affecting other people, and why?
Best question: why do I care?
At the end of the day it doesn't matter, sometimes you just don't need to
care. Maybe, you should care less, sometimes you should care more. It's
just a matter of discovering which one matters more to you.
Sometimes we have a desire to not care, or care less. Which is called
liberosis. (a different word in a different language.)
Just like the word, it can be liberating. So it's your perception on your
apathy that can liberate you, or imprison you.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Chapter 5
conclusion
 
How you cut them off
 
You've had a successful seduction. Granted, you're exhausted of their
presence and you've accomplished the results you went after. Now, you're
complete and want to leave a huge emotional scar. Leaving an emotional
scar means you'll hold a large space in their minds, and you'll continue to
reserve power over them. (Just in case you want them back.)
One target, we'll call him dark circles. (Because he looked like he hadn't
slept in a thousand years.)
So, here is the story with dark circles.
We met on my birthday. Boredom hit me, so for shits and giggles we made
out. Fast forward two months later, he wants to spend the rest of his life
with me, and will give and be everything I had ever dreamed of.
I was getting sick of him, so I told him not to text me for a week. He then
proceeds to text my mother, venting his feelings about how hurt he would
feel, if I had just decided to walk away, and how I was leading him on.
I let him go. He was just clutter in my life. I didn't say a word, I just
stopped replying to any texts, callsand emails. Not a word out of me. Why
did I do it this way?
See, dark circles has a fear of abandonment. You have to let them go,
according to their fears. If you want to leave an emotional scar so they
spend their entire lives trying to be with you or find another you. If not,
that's a different story.
Ditch them according to their fears.
For example:
Someone who fears abandonment:
The best time to leave is when things in your relationship are at their peak.
Once it hits the climax, walk away. No warning signs, no words. Nothing.
Stop communicating all together.
If a person feared not fitting in, show them they are second best.
If someone feared being chosen over someone else, choose them over
someone else.
If someone feared you dying, imply you want to commit suicide. Then
never speak to them. (Not recommended. This is for educational purposes
only.)
If someone fears losing their beauty, imply you want to end it, because you
believe they're ugly. Compare them to better looking people, make them
seem smaller in comparison.
Those were some examples of how to ditch people based on their fears.
However, the best way to leave them wondering and obsessing for the rest
of their lives, is complete sudden abandonment. If you give your target no
reason, you trigger the part of the brain that is always trying to find puzzle
pieces to finish the puzzle. Since they'll never obtain the missing puzzle
pieces, they'll be searching forever. With no luck. (Unless they're stalking
you.)
Although, since we're sympathetic people, we'll need to let them down
gently.
Unless, you're not that sympathetic. If so, indulge in abandoning them the
most meanest, baddest way. The more mean and negative, the bigger the
scar you've left behind.
After all, why wouldn't you want to have an effect on them, even when
you've eliminated them from your life.
 
 
Leave them obsessed forever
 
Scared of your target getting bored, and wanting to leave? Scared of
abandonment? All you have to do is a couple things, to maintain their
obsession with you:
Never emotionally commit to someone. Once they believe they have
conquered you, emotionally, pull back, and be cold.
You can never make them too sure. Always keep them on the edge about
what your opinions about them are, and what your intentions with them,
may be.
Make them scared of losing you. Subliminally show that you don’t need
them. If you get into arguments, and they threaten to leave, encourage to.
This will show you that you don’t depend on anyone for your happiness,
and will be just fine without them. A trait many lack.
Remember that life fluctuates all the time, see which needs are being
prioritized by their subconscious minds, and fulfill it.
See which techniques work, and which ones don't work for a person, and
just keep applying them.
Remember to keep them in suspense. You'll still need to keep surprising
them.
Be fickle. Never give too much of yourself, and never give too little of
yourself.
Give them hope and grief. Dangle their desires in front of them, allowing
them to believe that they finally have it. Once they do, pull away.
Do all these things, and your target will surrender to your seductions
forever. Only if you can handle all the attention. Be careful what you wish
for.
 
 
About The Author
 
 
SCARLETT KENNEDY owns the website Power & Obsession. Scarlett
helps people learn about obsession, and psychology. She shares her
personal experiences, and what you can learn from them. Scarlett currently
holds a Bachelor of Commerce, and is a certified life coach.
Learn more about Scarlett at powerandobsession.com
 
other upcoming books by Scarlett
kennedy
 
How To Psychoanalyze Anyone.
Get Over Your Obsession
http://www.amazon.com/author/business
 
One Last Thing...
If you enjoyed this book or found it useful I’d be very grateful if you’d post
a short review on Amazon. Your support really does make a difference and
I read all the reviews personally so I can get your feedback and make this
book even better.
And, you can sign up for my email list for exclusive content.
Thanks again for your support!
	liability disclaimer
	Warning:
	introduction
	My story.
	What is this about:
	Why would I want people obsessed with me?
	How am I different?
	How to read this book:
	Chapter 1
	The causes of obsession
	The person is your idealized version:
	The person fills in the cracks within your psyche.
	The person revives/relieves a memory/ person you are missing.
	The person brings out your most deep suppressed sides.
	Chapter 2
	Target psychology
	how to pick and choose your targets
	what is the perfect lover?
	masculine and feminine psychology
	target type: the nerd
	target type: the control freak
	target type: the innocent one
	target type: the pushover
	TARGET TYPE: the “tough” one.
	target type: the child
	target type: the narcissist
	target type: the histrionic
	target type: the rich person
	target type: the player
	target type: the knight in shining armour
	target type: the commitment phobe
	when two of the same kind get together
	the types of people you can’t seduce
	Chapter 3
	starting the process
	pain and pleasure
	the essence of grief
	timing
	get their attention
	creating rapport
	be a mystery
	Imply a dark side
	social proof and becoming obsessed
	the equal, superior, and inferior
	single minded attention
	make your target feel insecure
	Your exclusivity
	play innocent
	be in the present moment
	become the flawless illusion
	the small details
	go beyond our physical existence
	play against your stereotype
	leave your baggage at the door
	romanticize everything
	their experience with you
	reverse psychology
	what are you associated with?
	will they approach you?
	are you listening?
	resistance
	Conclusion
	Chapter 4
	be careful what you wish for: the potential corruptions
	introduction
	stalkers
	abusing your power
	paranoia
	maintenance
	guilt
	why aren’t they trying to win me back?
	Falling into your own trap: falling in love
	Who was seduced here?
	Analysis paralysis
	Identity/existential crisis
	apathy
	Chapter 5
	conclusion
	How you cut them off
	Leave them obsessed forever
	About The Author
	other upcoming books by Scarlett kennedy
	One Last Thing...