Leading You Me We 23 People Patterns

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Session 23
People Patterns
• Human that have come before us have spent years studying the patterns of human 
behaviors.
1. There are mechanisms/programs inside our mind that cause these behaviors.
2. Some of these are fundamental.
3. If you're not aware of the patterns, you can go your whole life being a victim of 
them.
• Other people aren't crazy or mean, they just have different patterns of responding.
• Our patterns aren't totally the same as other people, nor are they totally different.
1. There's a small number of patterns, and we each differ in our unique combination.
2. It'd be difficult to relate to people if everyone was completely different. If we 
understand the common patterns, it'll help us relate to them and be effective 
leaders.
• Different people pay attention to different things because we're interested in different 
things.
1. What we're interested in is one thing that bonds us.
2. You've met people and there was nothing to talk about, because you had no 
shared interest.
• The 5 Primary Interest Patterns are: People, Place, Thing, Activity, and Ideas.
• The idea of your cause isn't the most important thing for everyone. For some it's the 
people, or the activity, or the thing, or the place.
1. Being able to relate in all these different ways strengthens you as a leader.
• We can pay attention in two ways:
1. How it matches what we already know ("sameness people").
2. How it's different than what we already know ("difference people").
• It can be difficult to motivate sameness people to join your cause when it's about 
changing something.
• How do you know when you've done a good job?
1. I just know (this is called an "internal frame of reference").
2. Other people tell me (this is called an "external frame of reference").
• Internal Frame people don't care what other people think or say, External Frame 
people do.
• A million doctors recommend x.
1. External frame: "A million doctors recommend it, it must be the case then."
2. Internal Frame: "I didn't know so many doctors were so stupid."
• Most strong leaders have an internal frame, because to be successful you must 
overcome significant resistance.
1. This internal frame can go beyond themselves to principles or causes. (Justice 
dictates we do this, peace dictates we do this, etc.)
2. As a leader, you can't allow the people who don't believe in your cause to effect 
you.
• An unwavering belief in a cause allows you to communicate congruently about it, 
and this makes you more attractive.
• Internal Frame people don't want feedback, External Frame people do.
• Decision Pattern - How do you make decisions?
1. If I want to convince you to do something, what's the best way to influence your 
decision to believe or take action?
• Everything we do is because it either
1. Looks right
2. Sounds right
3. Feels right
4. Makes sense
• As a leader, it's useful to create visions/pictures with feelings, because this hits on 
two of the common decision patterns.
1. A vision of freedom, a vision of justice, etc.